It's Valentine.

" Sweet to many,sour to some,in the end of the day,it is just another passing day for me = ] "

It's that time of the year again.The day where gentleman put on their best attire,digging deep into their wallets,to spend money,treating love of their life to a scrumptious meal at a lavish restaurant,buying a bouquet of beautiful roses for them,charming their lovers with everything that they have.

It is this time,that you will see lovebirds all over the street,hugging and clinging to each other like there's no tomorrow.This is the time,where the metaphor " Love is in the air" literally rings true.This is the time,where most couples would be able to mend broken relationship,start a new one,and most importantly,for the male counterparts to express their love and to keep the lovey-dovey feeling keep going.

It is also the time of the year for citizens of singledom to yearn and cry of remorse and regret,for not having their other half by their side,for not being able to enjoy romantic night with their loved ones,and for not being able to spend this auspicious day with their partners for life.

As for me though,well,it is just another passing day = ].As much as I long for a joyous valentine,where I would be able to take my date to a romantic dinner,a simple movie,and then taking midnight stroll with just the two of us,I can't.I simply could not imagine that for now .

I do have my own dreams and hopes,yet my expectations prevent me from realising those fantasies.Maybe I just didn't find the right girl yet,or maybe I expect too much ?Or perhaps it is the other way around?

Bawh,it does not matter anymore for now.Right now,I just wanna enjoy life to the fullest,cherishing my soon-to-get precious freedom and just strives to improve myself in every aspect.

As for love and relationship,next valentine perhaps ? =D.

Either way,here wishing you all happy couples to forever be together and never be torn apart.Happy Valentine to you all lucky bastards =D.

and not forgetting the singles out there,Happy singles-awareness day!

The True me.

I think for the past few months , i have been living in the world of surreal and intangible world.As far as it goes, it seems that nearly every sense of logic that i got have been twisted and changed into some form of insanity.Yeah, thats right, I was insane.I was stressed to the point that i felt the whole world is turning on me.I can't recall when was it but there was time when i have terrible head ache and i was unable to do a thing even if i want to. I really hate that kind of situation , you know , the scene where "yes , i wanna study!, i wanna do something productive, " but in the end it was all craps and no actions.Seriously , i do hate that mood when i don't do it although deep down , a part of me wants it.

I am the type of guy that did things by mood. That's y when i am in "insane" mood, i won't be able to do a single thing at all. It is really crazy come to think of it.Luckily, now it was over. I have regained my sanity once more.The one that able to think clearly and do reasonings based on logics , yeah ,, thats how i aspire to be.Now that i am crystal clear of my surroundings , i am able to think of my "insanity" .I guess the reasons for my insanity was due to problems. A lot of problems.

Problems like projects,assignments ,homeworks, studies, spm and yeah though i hate to say it, love is yet another problem that keeps coming back to haunt me.You know,if you would just take a look at my posts under the "Relationship" label, you would realised that i can crap a lot about love.And i mean really a lot. But today , i would like to make it short.Actually,based on reasonings , all the problems that i mentioned above are really not a problem at all.Take projects for example.All i need to do is just to manage my time and allocate 30 minutes to finish it.That's all. However, when it comes to doing it, it will fall in complete mess.I knew it .

Every time i tried to do something, i would try my best. Even so, my best is very stressful.I might be a perfectionist ,that thinks a lot.In fact , i think too much.So much that every action i do seems very hard and complex to calculate the consequences of that action.Therefore, every time i try to do something on my own, i will get very stressful. I got an advice from some internet fortune teller be4, " You work best when you are left doing it alone " .I find this very true.It is kinda hard concentrating on a thing when there are ppl around you.But when i am left to deal with it alone, i really could felt the stress there.Take for example when i am doing some videos regarding my school club, i would feel really stressful although by rational thinking , you just need to make simple video.

Anyway, i have finally regain my sanity.Such , the only hope i got now. .. is for this mood, this sanity of mine to be with me forever and ever.Then only my life will truly begin .

*P.S this whole post doesn't really makes any sense. I know, just think of this as crap bawh ."

When worst isn't actually the worst.

Listening to - Jay Chou-Qing Tian
=> soft ,ballad style song
=> Guitar background music
=> Nice mv , violin effect xD

Again,this is one of my thoughts.Well, considering i just hear some emo songs haha.It really does get me thinking hmm..Did you ever have any bad day ?Heck what am i asking .For sure you do la~Everyone does.Surely , every one of you had experienced some bad incidents before right?Now, the question is, what do you feel when you actually experiencing them?

Me,for one would definitely feel like it is the end of the world and you know all the crazy thoughts of running out of this world and abandoning all my works crossed my mind.* no, i wasn't thinking about suicide , i mean Sleep! thats where i will be able to escape to the dream world =D * But then again, are you really sure thats the end of the world?Hence,the title of the post " When worse isn't actually the worst".

Actually , i dont quite know how to express my thoughts now.All things are currently jumbled up in my mind now.There are thoughts about life, relationships and even love *o.O *Well must be because i just read some posts relating to love haha.I wonder why, when i thought about love ,the other part of mind will keep on reminiscing about the pasts.It has been nearly 5 years since i entered secondary school.... Truth to be told, there weren't any happy memories until last year.As far as i remember, my form 1 to form 3 lifes are filled with nothing but some nonsense and miserable events.Heck, i even had my first big fight in form 3*again , no it is not gang fight or anything, just a big arguement with one of my fren*.

I guess towards the near end of form 4,thats when my life started to take a turn.I think i went out the most during tat time.That's when i started to actually have fun in my life.To be honest, i am quite an introvert.This is clearly shown in my primary school life.Believe it or not , i almost never talked to anyone actively during my primary school life.Either way, this goes on.Regarding my love life, i think i had a crush during my primary school life.Well, it was quite a puppy love i guess.So,it went on and slowly the feeling fade away.And sooner i had another crush! or was it ? Until now i am still wondering whether or not this feeling is that of love or just another feeling of wanting to be close friend.That feeling still lingers around even now i guess.

Then again,this is the kind of feeling that you don't really wanna have.The feeling of confusion, still deciding whether this is love or not, if it is indeed love,then will you go for it ? or back down due to the fear of rejection?Love is indeed very complicated and when you are in that state of confusion ... or the state of being rejected , thats where the word "worst " comes in. It might be the worst moment of your life. Yet after you experienced it and think back , it really isn't that bad afterall ,isn't it?Actually this post was meant to be a reminder to myself when i am down.

If i ever fall into depression, do think about this "This might be one of the bad moments in your life, but think again, is this really the end of the world? You are still living and there are still days ahead,so stop being emo and get to work! Go do what you should do!"Either way, my love life is again stuck in a hourglass of time.My life now is virtually filled with nothing but remnants of memories from the past.....Until the clock starts ticking again, my love life shall remain frozen .

Of Life and Love

Here, as mentioned in last post , i shall now blog about my own thoughts after watching the tear-jerking j-drama,Koizora a.k.a sky of love.First and foremost ,i truly felt like wanna live in fantasy world after watching this drama.Why? Because everything is so sweet and well planned for you there.It is as if your life is one perfect story, planned perfectly ahead of time.

I mean , how many people would ever had the chance to experience the unimaginable scenes like those in dramas. Imagine, a pretty,cute and kind girl/handsome guy found your hand phone and suddenly called you everyday and you started talking and after a few years later, you got yourself a super,sweet and nice lover. How many girls ever experienced something like , a guy openly shouted he love you in front of public places and proposed you that instant?For guys, would you really do that ?

How many girls are that naive? How many guys are that daring?That are all just fantasies in dramas.Heck ,once even a friend of mine once told me that guys in Malaysia wouldn't be able to do anything as sweet in the drama.I must say though i do agree to her statements to a certain degree.Maybe i am just too young and yet to seen scenes like that happen in real life but still i don't really think Malaysian guys will do that.

Compared to other countries, Malaysians really do have a "closed mind" eh? Things that are usually done like greetings by kissing on the cheek in US is like a taboo here. And it would seem like Malaysian guys and girls appear to be more "pai seh" or shy here.*sigh* i dunno , maybe it was just me that are too naive.Actually , i would prefer to be naive and live in fantasy world if i could be like those main characters in drama.Imagine, you found your true love, and she loves you too and you went on to set a nice,happy family life.Everything will go on perfectly , you are the handsome and charming prince for her, and she is your beautiful and attractive angel for you.You will spend your eternity living happily with her.How sweet is that ?

Although the reality is a cruel world, not only it will be very hard for one to find his/her perfect partner , one still have to deal with countless problems and obstacles (i.e Finance,family consent and etc etc) .zz i know, i rant about money a lot but thats the truth of life.It is an unavoidable problem.As for me now, i never truly experienced the magic of love and frankly, i don't think my age now is suitable to experience it too.Nevertheless ,i still love to find the perfect one, the other half of me.I thought i found one , but nawh, it is impossible, this is the cruel ,reality after all.So,lets just say , my love life shall be "paused" for now.Until i find the one , my love life shall always stayed the same ,continue to stray across the path of time ...... until someone breaks it with the magic of love~

Forsaken love~

How do i start this?Hmm... everyone has their own story of their life i guess..I guess mine is starting to shape itself into existence.But even so.. obstacle is a must.I have been ransacking my mind lately.What have i become? I aspires to become something different.. someone special..someone unique but then again all this aspirations are just mere dreams,ain't they?Man i gotta learn how to express my thoughts.Not just choreograph them step by step but just think them out.Either way , just thinking of my aspiration and resolution just seems to get me down.Haiz, why izzit so hard to be someone else?But then again , thinking rationally,if it is so easy to be someone rich,someone handsome,someone talented , a jack-of-all-trades so easily, then there is no more logic to this world ,right?So,practically , i am just crapping now.It is april already... spm is approaching ..So near yet so far.Well all the pain and agony of studying might finally be put to rest at last. however , as i try to think of what to do after spm, a feeling of nostalgia surrounds me.It feels really nostalgic to suddenly think of ur school and all the memories just flowing bak.Somehow now , i do seem to have passion to study yet only have it when i hold the book.

All overflowing memories and feelings.I wonder what will happen if i let it out?Ah love love love , why must love exists? though it is forsaken, i do think of what will happen if it did work out?If ... all the probabilities are infinite.i can definitely voice out the infinite possibilities of IF.If i have that , if i did that .. if i .... owh just thinking that can already make my head explode.Now i do have a long term plan for success ^^ but i wonder will it work?Arg just think of it gets my adrenalin up.Maybe it is just me that thinks too much? What the future holds for me remains unseen but i do have a grasp of what it will end up if i don't start studying.Human mind .. really complex ain't it ? I am starting to see the point of learning biology and maybe chemistry too.Now if only i could apply the theory in the world.Then, all the intangible dreams of mine might be real after all.

One more thing , i hate parental consent.Everything also need my mom's consent.And tat being said , i truly hate being compared to other ppl.Everytime i ask my mom for permission to do something , she would always said " u see ler , ur fren X, never go out wan, y cant u stay at home and study?" everytime she said tat , i truly am pissed off! I mean come on! what does i got to do wif my other fren? WHo cares if he can study and he dont go out,tats his problem,I am I, I want to do what i like!Sometimes adults are just too unreasonable.They are once teens like me too.So,why cant they understand the anxiety and the excitement of going out wif friends?Bound with some superstitious belief.... I won't really wanna rebel completely against this kinda superstition but then again... some superstitious belief are just absurd.Now i have a choice to make.To go or not to go? Whatever the choice is , i hope it is gonna be right choice.I swear if i were to end up as a parent one day later, i won't be like any of my parent now.NEVER!