Again,time marched on relentlessly, leaving behind foolish humans regretting and having remorses towards the endless past.In a blink of an eye, so much things have happened.Michael Jackson,the one regarded as an international symbol,a legacy on its own, a legend , finally breathed his last breath on 25th of June,2009.

It is truly a waste, a man of such talent, who is just on the verge on coming back to die in such a way.Such talents, such perfection,such abilities... His death will always be commemorated as one of the biggest loss to the world.

Either way,on a much closer ground,I have to be met with another loss .A loss of a good friend.Today,I had to attend a farewell party intended for my friend who is going to Australia soon.It has been a very nice experience knowing him and people around him.

It was a memorable event.Sitting down eating steamboats while kap-siaoing and having fun.And then it struck me.What an unbelievable group I am mixing with, a bunch of talented ,unique individuals with their special abilities and characteristics.

Upon closer observation, I realized that almost all of them are geniuses and very special in their own way.An all-rounder that can do well in sports and academics , A genius who skips grade a few time and still manage to maintain being the top student, A joker who craps a lot and very sociable ,an extremely outgoing and friendly girl, another smart and friendly girl, an unique couple,a kind but shy and quiet guy and etc etc.

Thinking about it, each of them are special, and gifted in one way or another ,one can even say that they are on par with any other geniuses in the world.What a bunch of talented individuals I am hanging out with.

I am indeed honoured and grateful being able to meet them.It made me realized that how small and weak I am compared to those gifted geniuses.It is like they are completely on a different world.Watching and looking on as they spoke on their big achievements and how they easily accomplish it with much humility truly embarasses me.

But of course , they are not perfect.Just by watching them, I realised that all of them, no , all of us, are special in our own way,and are legacies and legends for others in one way or another.Noticing this, I just can't help but wonder am I gifted with some sorts of talents or special ability too? or am I capable enough of leading others by examples? I continue to ponder and wonder....

Alright,thats all for now.Jia Yong and Yang Kang , best wishes to both of u in Australia =D. Same goes to the rest of the group currently in overseas studying or in other states!!!

Like vampire's thirst for blood, wolf's hunger for meat,men's lust for food, I strongly believes that everyone in this world,no matter who they are, have something akin to those mentioned examples.Desires,something which seems to be overwhelmingly powerful,yet uncontrollable, is something everyone possesses.

Used properly,it could be an instant ticket to success , instantly getting everything you could ever want,yet ironically,it could be the same tool of destruction that would drive one to his/her own downfall.

Yes people, desires ,a little something that can be disregarded as insignificant to others,yet to all the top and mighty people in the world,it might actually be the force that drives the world.

*****

As of now, I am still a little confused.Everyone have desires ,desires to get this, desires to get that, desires to success, however , I believe, most,if not all, shares the one common desire , the desire to win.

Me especially, having being influenced by the manga i read recently, are obsessed with winning.But of course,this should only be viewed as natural response right?Who in this world with a sane mind would want to lose? Nobody wishes to be in the realm of failures and losers,being left out and be shunned by the societies, hiding in the shadow of the winners forever.

I would often daydream ,envisioning and visualising myself as a complete winner, the perfect genius that conquered everything,from the top of the sky to bottom of hell.Yet those fleeting dreams are mere figments of my imagination,disappearing as quickly as a cloud of smokes.

The reality is far,so much further away from those fantasies.I tried to reach for the moon,only to find that I am nowhere even near the sky.As I slowly hit the harsh reality,I realise that it is simply impossible,impossible at all,for someone without talent,without the determination and someone who is as lazy and laid-back as me to do so.

Perhaps being average guy is more than enough ?Yes,right now , I am but an ordinary guy,with no special talent or skills whatsoever that just manages to live an ordinary life.Still, I am not satisfied,I have but one thing, the tenacity, tenacity to win,to surpass and surmount others....

Will that alone suffice? Will tenacity alone beat genius with hard works and efforts? I wonder... I continue to ponder and wonder...


******


BAWH!!!!!! argh ok enough of stupid emo rantings. =.- Screw it. Alright , on a more personal note,Just underwent the first of the six-part house practices training.Needless to say,it was tiring and unexciting,AS USUAL.After 5 years of participating in this failed event,I am almost speechless to comment about it anymore.It's just too... dull....

Either way,billion thanks to the good Samaritan, Teng Aun for his willingness to drop me by bus stop today ! Thanks to him, I survived yet another day Whee!! Tomorrow's the teacher day for our school.Yup,means a holiday for us.Yeahh... well a short-lived happiness is not bad right?

Finally finished reading that manga.Now,it's time to pia.. pia... PIA!!!!!! Gloomy June is coming to an end,and Busy July is taking over.July seems like a nice month,hopefully. With multiple events like prom, activities, and test coming up, July sure seems like it will be a month full of surprise !!!

Ah I guess that's all for now.It is gonna get messy,better be prepared first.
When the going gets tougher,the tough gets going.
May everything be well again,for me,as well as you = D.

In a blink of an eye,form six had started already,and again, time flies,now,few weeks have passed since the beginning of form 6.

Well,it is almost seems a paradox that for the past six months i have been ranting and musing continuously about how I can't wait to start form six and as a matter of fact, I can't really sleep on that night before the big day,but look at it now, the current me is still the same,as nonchalant and laid-back as ever,save the fact that I have actually suppressed my curiosity of what form six life have in store for me.

By now, I would already had a rough idea of what form six is all about.Heck,it isn't really that much different than my previous five years school life.We are still donning the same uniform,still stuck with the same "strict" rules that absolutely created just for the likes of us to break them,still with the same studying environment,same teachers... well that's about all.

Sure,there might be some nice addition here and there,for instances, form six being a co-ed education opens up a new room for an endless possibilities to happen,in a good way of course.Moreover,in form six,we are supposedly tends to be more mature and competitive,following the usual norm,however,my class seems to deviate a bit from that perspective,much to my likings of course =D.

Right,so lets start a brief review of how things has turned out for me in this past few weeks.Both the good,and the bad .First and foremost,the first week of form 6 saw me making friends with diseases and illness.Diarrhea,flu,cough,fever, you name it, I got it.It was terrible, those canteen food,eat once, all sorts of diseases come flocking towards you.Oh well,at the very least it is over now.Hmm,so the bad start of the week left me wondering whether or not is this some kind of bad omen or indication for something far worst.

Fortunately,things are not as bad as it seems.Things finally started to kick-off,nicely =D.The next few weeks saw me making many new friends,fine friends,crazy friends,loud friends ,and last but not least girl friends ( obviously referring to the friends whom the genders are female ) =D ,very glad to do that.I am very satisfied with my classmates as of now.A bunch of crazy and chaotic ones mixed with a few shy girls and some outrageously funny ones .Nice!Sadly some of them are leaving soon ,transferring and going other schools = (,which is very REGRETTABLE as if they had stayed, our class could have been much much better hehehe.

Next,the learning process began,and the next few weeks saw 90% ,if not all of us,sleeping or daydreaming in the chemistry lab (for your information, we still did not get to sit in our official class yet ,no thanks to the lousy organizing skills ).We were even labelled Some of the teachers are really,really good though =D,and I deeply appreciate that =D.Some teachers however,are just plain bad and gave mediocre teaching lessons at the very least.Overall,it is just ok.

After that,things began to slowly unfold itself and until now, the latest event is the orientation games that happened today.It was fairly fun.Water balloons, blind fold games ,racing..and etc etc.Frankly though,it could have been so much better.

Moving on,so far everything have been flowing smoothly,and I certainly hope it remains this way,or maybe even gets better.Well,save the fact that some of them are moving and/or changing stream, I have nothing else to complain about.Alright,maybe just one, the teachers. XD.

Alright,having said all that,there is only one thing left to be done.In retrospect of the days that I have been so eager to resume my school life and enter the brand new f6 world, I am slightly sad to say that the results did not quite turn out to be what I expected,it did however it is still ok.

That being said, may everything gets better for me,and you .. =D

.Well,ladies and gentlemen, look who is back !! !!Yeah,after what seems like an eternity after my previous post, I have finally decided to drag my lazy ass to the chair and my fingers to start typing.It has been ages since I last blogged.Almost a month or two I assume?

Either way, to be honest I am still having a writer's block as of the moment I am typing this.Somehow,six months of holiday is more than enough to rust my brain and prevent my creative juice from oozing out smoothly to form thoughts.In fact, I am still struggling just to put my thoughts into words.

Alright enough nonsense.I promised to blog about form six as it is quite a big and important event that is happening in my life now.After six months of slacking and doing nothing , finally it is time.Time to start using my brain efficiently and productively.Time to start studying hard.Time to start being serious about my future.

Though, it is definitely hard to start again.It is like a whole new life all together.Well,sure the fact that I will be coming back to the same school that I had attended for the past 5 years brought some relief to me, though the fact that form six will be totally different and i will be seeing new things and being in new environment still brings some sense of anxiety and excitement too.

Sad to say, the reality is just cruel.The first day was boring.Orientation,boring,as expected.I was glad being able to see those familiar faces of old friends coming back and the thought of being able to study with them again just brought smiles to my face.I had mixed reaction about the new faces though.On one hand, I was full of excitement at the thought of being able to expand my circle of friends and hopefully getting one or two best friends.On the other hand, I was kinda worried how well would I get along with them given the varieties of personalities there.

The first week of orientation was,needless to say ,boring,tedious and tiring.The fact that I was stucked with diseases like diarrhea , flu, cough and fever doesn't help it either =.-.

Anyway,as the saying goes,look beyond the storms. The dawn will eventually come and the storm will subside.And it does gets better.After the first week of orientation, I finally get to know my classmates and my class teachers.

As of now, things are fine.My classmates aren't too bad.In fact,some of them are friendly too .However,I believe things will get better soon.This is just the beginning.

In form six, I discover quite a number of things.For instances,people here tends to be more mature and determined.Maybe it is because the difficulty of the syllabus.Heck,STPM is the third hardest examination in the world anyway.

And I am liking it.I love the fact that I will be in highly-competitive environment,struggling and trying my best to overtake every obstacles along the way.In the end of the journey, I believe this shall mould me into a better person.

Having said that, I guess I must start working hard now,for form six,is totally different.This is really gonna affect my future.Alright,good luck to those having examinations now.I guess I shall take my leave now.Hence,begins this marks another chapter in my life.

Form Six,hopefully I am capable to cope with it....
May life be sweet for me,and you = D...

Woke up at 4 a.m today.Yeah, I know. Such an unearthly hours right?And the fact that I woke up that early surprises myself too.For those that had known me for quite some time, you will know that I usually sleep around 2 or 3 p.m these days = ) .So,the biggest question here is ,how the heck did I sleep that late and wake up that early?

The answer is simple.I slept earlier the day before today =D.Shocking?Yeah I know . I myself was shocked when I got to bed at around 9 pm yesterday night.Not necessarily the earliest I had in my sleeping history of 17 years but yeah,it is definitely one of the earliest.

Once in a blue moon, I will sleep very early and wake up early too.Well,yesterday just happens to be one of those days.

Anyway,after that I......

Hmm...=.- nothing else to say la.Shit,nothing interesting to blog about... all I ever did was lifeless stuffs living a zombie like life,slowly rotting away.
I mean,ah shit I am having a writer's block =D.

Sigh.nothing to blog about laaaa . Wait till form 6 =D Then,there definitely will be something interesting to blog about ! heheh Until then, I shall go back to my slumberland to find more inspirations! toodles! Whheeeeeeeee.

The rain came pouring down in torrents.Accompanied by a gust of wind,together with the continuous gush of water that came flying down out of nowhere,it made a perfect recipe for a violent storm.

It was raining cats and dogs again today.In fact,for the past few days, the rain showers came out of the blues,starting from light drizzle to a rapid,torrential rain within seconds.Perhaps it was Mother Nature's way of showing the foolish human that something big is going on, or going to happen.....

I love rainfalls.Those familiar cold sensation,and the monotonous sound of rain droplets hitting the ground just seems to cover everything else away,leaving behind a totally calm and tranquil atmosphere.

As I stared blankly towards the empty space,my mind began wandering away from my physical body,slowly drifting away into an unknown dimension.My mind was empty back then.Nothing,no worries,no problems,no troubles clouding it at all.


In that particular instance,the only thing I have on my mind is the showers of rain in front of me.Such are the wonders of nature,so beautiful,so peaceful... so relaxing.Then,it struck me again.How long shall I be able to see this beautiful art of natures ? What will happen in the future?

Will I ever be able to feel this gentle breeze again? Or will I be stuck in a hectic life,unable to even take a stroll to the outside world to enjoy the atmosphere?I wondered and pondered,how will the days ahead be?Will I be happy ? Or will I live through a miserable life,struggling to pass days faster to end the pathetic life?
I guess,for now,all this shall remain a mystery to me.Just another month more to go till the end of this relaxing ,carefree life.The passage of time will march on relentlessly,and with each passing days, the hectic lifestyle of sixth formers will be approaching even closer.

No doubt the days ahead shall be full with thorny roads ,accompanied by many challenges and obstacles .However,I shall welcome it with open hands and embrace it with everything I have.May the days ahead be filled with happy,joyous and mirthful events.

Another day, another struggle.It has been almost 4 months since the end of spm.Life... haven't been too hard for me, nor was it too easy.I guess, it must have taken a toll on me.Spm, the supposedly life-changing experience that will dramatically improve or rather "evolve" my otherwise,simple and nondescript life did not seem to work it's magic.

My life retains the same without colours, it is still the same monochromatic colours that is painting my life story now,instead of all those colourful memories filled with bittersweet emotions and feelings.

The angst is still there, I do still throw tantrums occassionally. And of course,last but not least, the attachment ... is still there.I still remain clueless as where my future is heading, as of how am I supposed to live life,carrying this "burden" on my shoulders,and of course,how do I survive in the present remains a big mystery to me.

Not to say nothing productive have happened to me in the last few months. I took up guitar,my first musical instrument that I started learning,I worked ( albeit for a short terms only ),I read two novels and started to develop a passion of reading ( yeah, I did not really enjoy reading before ). and of course I started thinking seriously about my future.

I did learn a lot from this past few months.First and foremost,I learnt that in order to master something,discipline is needed,lot of discipline infact.This has been taught on me the hard ways by taking up guitar and working.

Never did I realise it would be this hard to learn something new without any guidance at all.There were plenty of times I thought of giving up and just give an excuse " I just wasn't born for this " but no... I persevered ...now , although I can't say that I am good at it, at the very least I learnt the basics of guitar.At the very least, I felt some sense of accomplishment for not giving up ! =D. As of working, I did discovered that in real life, it is really tough out there.

Things such as empathy,sympathy and other feelings are practically useless.It ain't an ideal world with protection out there.... Outside, it is a dangerous world,shrouded by mysteries and cloaked in a shadow..with strings being pulled almost everywhere. I ventured in once, and I stepped back,vowing never to step in again.

I admit , I lack enthutiasm and determination in working, but that is because the work I had wasn't involving my passions or interests at all.Still,it is of no excuse for my resignation.Well,at the very least , I shall remember this and think of it as a lesson so that I will not repeat the same mistake twice.

Moving on, nowadays, I find reading quite interesting. In fact , I have grown quite fond of reading that I have actually managed to read many thick books which I thought are strictly for nerds only that I never even will think of touching it before.Books are windows to our souls.Some books deserved readings as they would greatly improve your knowledges and intellect.

Next,my future.This is where I fell. I have completely had it.I was once dominated by the thoughts of it.It was too much for my humble brain to interpret.The possibilities are simply endless.I started thinking about some paths that will lead me overseas.

However, I soon realise by doing so, I have been restricting myselfs of other alternatives.Soon, although reluctant, I tried to open up by looking at the other point of view.What da ya know? It is a completely new world there.I can't even begin to descibe the possibilities.The sky's the limit.For now, I have decided that I will follow where the wind takes me.

In retrospect,along this few months ,although the passage of time was marching on relentlessly, I kept stumbled in between,regularly turning my head to look at the past.The memories of the past clearly remains a large attachment that keeps me from going on.I tried to let go,only to let it haunt me back again..

I tried embracing it,only to discover it was too much of a pain to bear.Forsaking it means I will be letting go of my past,those fun-filled schooling days, those adolescence memories.Still, the past remains a double-edged sword.However one tries to avoid it ,behind those happy stories lies some sad and sappy one.

Who could forget those gloomy days filled with terrors and fears?Who could forget the pain and agony of having any form of rejection? I know I can't.

Perhaps it would be the best to silently bear the pain while keep moving on.Hopefully the years ahead will show me a path where I will attain happiness and escape those tragic stories once and for all.I shall remain positive for now.Definitely the ray of hope will shine through this mist of darkness,and along it brings happiness,joy and peace to all.

May the days ahead be well... for you and me. =D

Well,seems like nothing big has been happening lately,oh yeah besides the big hole on my wallet that seems to be growing bigger day by day.Having no big events happening around lately, there is nothing for me to blog too.

However,seeing my blog ending up with all those long-winded,emotional,wordy posts kinda make me felt bad. I never wanted to bring this blog into the dark,emotional atmosphere it is in right now.In fact, I started out blogging by having the initial plan to wanting to express all my happiness and joy in the blog in a light-hearted and sharing the joy manner =D.

Hence,it is kinda depressing that my blog is all wordy and boring now.So,this post is specifically served to reverse the dark ,gloomy atmosphere looming around here.

Btw,this is completely random. After being on some blog-hopping for a while, I found tags very amusing.

Tags,or some sort of questionnaire that is being spreading in this blogosphere are very interesting alright.I mean,who wouldn't be amused by those funny questions and equally funny and random answers ppl gave?Throughout my experience in reading many of the tags done by friends or fellow strangers, I find it very entertaining and fun.

So,now... instead of getting tags from others, I decide to MAKE MY OWN TAG (and answering them myselves oso lol ) !=D AHA!
Alright here goes nothing.

* TAG *
First of all,tags will always start with one of the most random and stupidest question ever.So,

1) Are you in front of computer right now?
No, I am in the bathroom,doing this tag in front of a mirror. ( I know,doesnt make sense right? bt who cares )

2) What are you doing right now? ( the most common question in tags )
Doing this damn tag

3 ) If you are given a chance to reverse your life,will you go back to the past ?
Yeah,absolutely and no ,maybe nt.

4) What do you envision yourself doing in a few years?
Sitting in front of my monitor blogging.

5) What have you been doing in this past few years?
Nothing

6) What is your favourite activity?
Sleeping

And then.. in tags.. usually there are some compulsory ,almost a must ,questions...They are ... *jeng jeng jeng* love questions! !


7) Are you in a relationship with somebody now ?
Nawh.

8) Do you love someone now?
No , i don't love someone, i love many ones.

9) If you are able to change one of your characteristic/physical abilities,which one would u change?
Everything.

10) Do you believe in love?
yeah gua. Maybe =D

11) list 5 things tat u like about urself
I am a gud sleeper . I can eat a lot. I can sleep a lot. I dunno wat else i can say.

12) list 5 things tat u hate about urself
I am short .
I am lazy
i am very lazy.
i sleep a lot
i eat a lot.

Alright,due to laziness, I shall stop now.....Lame=.- yea i know . Sigh, to those that have interests in doing tags, do do it la =D . See the buddy list on the right ? >>>

Yeah I tag you guys and gals. =D Hope to see your tag results :O

I struggled to wade through the pools of water on the ground.It was dark and gloomy,surrounded by a brooding atmosphere.More than that,it was dead silent,so silent that one could practically hear every sound,includes that of even a dropping pin.

All of a sudden,I sense droplets of water rolling down my cheek.Was it rain or my tears?

***

Well,as dramatic as it might sound,it is really that dramatic.Well,it didn't go too bad.I reap what I sow.The results are exact reflection of my efforts.Something that actually equal to what I had put in.

It is exactly what I deserved.It is neither too bad or too good.Just average,mediocre.I had expected this to happen actually.Someway down the road while doing the examination,I had anticipated this.2 B's isn't actually very degrading for some,but for me it is really kinda disappointing.

However,what is done is done.No point regretting over the past.Just keep moving on.Sigh,lame .I hate what I am writing right now,it sounds so cliche'. Always the same thing,history repeating itself over and over again.

One thing I really don't understand ,why must we study the things that we don't like?Why must the education system be like this?As much as I hate to repeat it, I must insist that based on current education system,luck do play a role in determining the grades.

That being said,I shall not find excuses for myself ,nor shall I cower in fear and shame before facing others.I get what I deserved but I am neither proud nor am I shameful of the results.It is just another passing thing.

This too,shall just pass.. disappearing in people's memories sooner or later.Like I said earlier,spm isn't really a suitable benchmark for people's intelligence.At the end , the computer generated results are undebatable,not that I am denying the efforts of labours of those who achieved high scores.

It is just that,I am implying that it might be unfair to some of them.Behind the thick curtain of politics and shadows of government,who knows what happened?Many of people's achievement might just went unsung and we wouldn't even notice.

That is the crucial point.So,it is actually very biased form of judgment of our mental abilities.But all this will practically means nothing once you started working.At the end of the day,only our careers matters and our past education accolades will just went unsung.

Alright,guess enough is enough.All this rantings will go down the drain now =D.It is over at last.Now,new challenges await.I swear I won't repeat the same mistakes twice.

Hereby wishing all that scored well, congratulations and to those that did not do so well,life still goes on =D .I don't see why we should stop.

Lastly,to those that are soon facing this horrible examination (and of course, other examinations such as STPM too :P ), best wishes and good luck =D.

"What lies in yourself,only you but no one else can discover it. The sky's the limit = D"

Well,thats it,folks =D .Tomorrow is the big day.Yeap,tomorrow is the day where the fruits of our labours and efforts will be revealed. Tomorrow is the day where SPM results will be revealed .

It is strange how time passes so fast.It feels just like yesterday I just finished the last paper and yet tomorrow the results will be revealed.

I would be lying if I say I wasn't even a bit concerned with it ,much less being anxious and worry over it,However, the fact is, the results aren't actually that important.I mean,sure at this point of life, getting a great results would do much to your life,perhaps securing you a scholarship or two.

But if ,perhaps let's just think in a broader perspective.What will happen to those who didn't score well?Do they have to commit suicide?Is it the end of road?Well,the answer is a definite no.

All that matters is when one venture into adulthood and started working,getting the right career will be the most important.Next time,people won't be asking how many A's you scored,but rather what are you working as now?

That being said,of course in order to attain a great career,a solid education background is needed.So,in the end,the results still matters huh ? =D hahaha. What a complete paradox.Either way,I think i am prepared to accept the truth more or less.

In this past few months,I have been exposed to a lot of things that definitely help groom me in one way or another.What I view has definitely changed my pointview.

Some of the things that I actually learned are,sometimes hardwork alone isn't sufficient,it is the determination that makes all the difference =D.

And in the real world,it is crucial to learn the ability to choose the right people.One wrong step and you might end up getting yourself a lot of disasters.

There are too many things that the world has to offer.It is simply impossible to learn them all,or rather there are simply not enough time to do that.Therefore,learn to cherish time,appreciate things that are still here,and not take them for granted.

I also learned that it is memories and trusts that bond people together.The time that we spent together doesn't really matter that much.It is the memories we shared that are of utmost important.

Recalling the past experience,and expecting the future hurdles that I had yet be able to envision,I think it is best to embrace present.We won't know what might happen tomorrow,so why worry?Just cherish this moment.

Tomorrow will be another passing day.Good luck guys and girls! = ]

" We might not recognize each other anymore... She is taller, He is bigger.And we might not even talk at all.The dead silence seems to be around with the brooding atmosphere.The tension was clearly felt as the cold war between us continues.... "

Or at least,that's what I had thought and worried...

The night before this, my heart was pounding with excitement and ironically,accompanied by a bit of fear and worries.Deep within my mind,I still can't relieve my worries.I fear that the problems I had imagined earlier will become reality and the reunion thing will become my worst nightmare.

This morning, I awoke with mixed feeling.A part of me can't wait to see the former schoolmates that I haven't meet for the past 5 years,yet A part of me still can't stop worrying about how it will turn up.

Yes,you heard it correctly.Apparently,for some weird reasons,we,my primary schoolmates did not even contact each other for 5 whole years.After our primary school life, we each walked our own separate ways,and bid each other farewell,saying that we will meet again soon. But it did not happen...,well not at least till now =D.

While it is nice knowing that you will meet back your old friends,on the other side, I felt a bit weird,or should I call it adventurous ,since for 5 whole years, we did not meet each other.I am pretty sure we will all change,a lot.5 years,especially is a long time for someone to change,So,it will probably be like a meeting with some new people.

People change,both physically and mentally.Given 5 years,how much can one change?I can't help but wonder,how would it be , if the same guys that you used to talk too,laughing and crying along with,had a sudden change of character? What if they change so much that we can't even recognize each other?

However,apparently as it turns out,I have nothing to worry about at all =D.Although our physique and physical appearance may change,deep inside, we are still the same old schoolmates,playing around and laughing like some fools,exactly the same in the past.

With this reunion,the nostalgias from the past has finally caught up,and now we can slowly reminisce about the good old days we used to spent together last time, and talking about the wind of change that we had experienced,together with our plans for the future.

For me,it was fun and definitely a memorable experience.I shall engrave this beautiful piece of memory in my brain,forever carrying it even till my deathbed.With this,I finally came to a conclusion.

It isn't the time that we spent together that matters most,it is actually the memories that we made that bonds us together,now and forever,being the most important thing in our entire life .=D

Hence,I shall forever treasure and cherish these memories,making them my most precious treasure that I shall never exchange for anything.

Thank you guys,lets reunite once more when we are free = ].

" Sweet to many,sour to some,in the end of the day,it is just another passing day for me = ] "

It's that time of the year again.The day where gentleman put on their best attire,digging deep into their wallets,to spend money,treating love of their life to a scrumptious meal at a lavish restaurant,buying a bouquet of beautiful roses for them,charming their lovers with everything that they have.

It is this time,that you will see lovebirds all over the street,hugging and clinging to each other like there's no tomorrow.This is the time,where the metaphor " Love is in the air" literally rings true.This is the time,where most couples would be able to mend broken relationship,start a new one,and most importantly,for the male counterparts to express their love and to keep the lovey-dovey feeling keep going.

It is also the time of the year for citizens of singledom to yearn and cry of remorse and regret,for not having their other half by their side,for not being able to enjoy romantic night with their loved ones,and for not being able to spend this auspicious day with their partners for life.

As for me though,well,it is just another passing day = ].As much as I long for a joyous valentine,where I would be able to take my date to a romantic dinner,a simple movie,and then taking midnight stroll with just the two of us,I can't.I simply could not imagine that for now .

I do have my own dreams and hopes,yet my expectations prevent me from realising those fantasies.Maybe I just didn't find the right girl yet,or maybe I expect too much ?Or perhaps it is the other way around?

Bawh,it does not matter anymore for now.Right now,I just wanna enjoy life to the fullest,cherishing my soon-to-get precious freedom and just strives to improve myself in every aspect.

As for love and relationship,next valentine perhaps ? =D.

Either way,here wishing you all happy couples to forever be together and never be torn apart.Happy Valentine to you all lucky bastards =D.

and not forgetting the singles out there,Happy singles-awareness day!

Again I stare upon the blank space,focusing on the nothingness there.The same goes to my feeling,empty and void of any emotions.Blank,just blank.Even in my mind,the continuous stream of thoughts that always seems to fill my entire brain seems to disappear.All that remains are memories , memories of the yesteryears that seems to be overflowing.

Working has make me realise that schooling is actually the best thing ever.Now,regret and remorse starts to fill my heart as I wonder why the heck did I ever pray that time passes quicker back in my schooling days?

Nostalgia starts to hit me,hard.Reminiscing about all those old good times really makes me feel all emotional.How I wish to return to the past again,experiencing those crazy yet fun things that we all did.

But again, as cliche as it may sound,the truth still remains unchanged ,reality is cruel.We can't go back to the past,and life is all about moving on and forgetting the past.

Yet,for me to forget those important memories that we had forged together that bonds us together and continue moving forward in life without looking back?No way.

I misses them.Both my old ex-schoolmates and friends.Yet there is nothing I can do.Nearly all of them had move on with life and continue pursuing their separate paths.

Maybe one day our paths might cross again and that time we will be having fun catching up with the old times I guess. Haha. What a simpleton I am eh ?But thats how it is.Too much complex thoughts simply makes things harder to handle.So,why not make it simpler and leave it to fate?

Right now I am still working,but I am gonna end this working life of mine pretty soon.I need a big revamp on my lifestyle.Yes,the promises I made before spm needs to be fulfilled.And in order to fulfill them, I need time,and freedom.

So,let's hope everything will be well soon.

And..oh yeah,to those that are striving hard, working to go for Mssm now,best of luck.
I know this seems awkward,coming from a guy who never have any luck in chess.But,here's some insprirational advices.

Just do ur best,put in the effort,concentrate and let your mind do the rest.

Whatever your mind can conceive,the will can achieve.
Be tough guys,and girls = ].
Sure you all can make it!!

[ though i pretty much doubt any of you will even see this message haha ]

Finally,farewell old memories, hopefully I can meet my old friends back once more = ] .

"Toughness... is how you react under tremendous pressure and stress when facing useless people that only knows how to do nuts "

As of late, I have been spending mostly,if not all, of my time working.At first,I find it to be quite a pleasant experience as 1) I am actually working. and 2)My job is actually quite easy.Even though the pay isn't really that decent,but it is still just enough,considering I am just working as a mere staff in a supermarket.

However,as I slowly begun to delve deeper into it ,things began to change.I finally felt the sacrifices I made for this job.In exchange for a little bit of monetary gain , I sacrificed my flexible hours,my precious time,my entertainment,and worst of all, my freedom.

The experience gained here isn't really that precious too in actual fact.The pleasant working experience from the early days had now changed to a rather disastrous experience.From working in my own realm of comfort zone, I was forced to shift to the office,doing the office job.I do not really mind actually,but the thing is, I am doing the harder job and yet I only gets the same pay as others that only did an easier job.Unfair isn't it ?

So,with all this losses I have been experiencing, why the heck am I still working here?Simple,this is because simply I do not want to leave things being done halfway.I have done that far too much already.It is time I take responsibility.

It is time I stay behind and help them,even though it is rather foolish to do so.In the real corporate world,promises from mouth to mouths practically means nothing,only black and white can do the talking.Yet,I stay and help.All because of simple empathy and sympathy.

Gosh...I wish I can just leave without feeling anything.But I do know,if I were to leave now,the entire office will definitely turn into chaos.Heck, there are already chaotic mess and troubles inside the office already,thanks to some irresponsible and useless people.Hence,the decision to stay.

Sigh..hopefully all this will end peacefully and quickly.I certainly do not wish to linger around any longer till it falls completely.I just hope time would pass quickly and I can finally say I "graduated" from my first job safely and satisfying.

On the other note,not only my working life is a mess,even upon returning home, I still find troubles chasing me around.Guess the lady luck just hates me eh ? Sigh Sigh Sigh,when can this end .

Only fond memories of yesteryears could relieve my agony and grief.I guess all this worries can wait.Now is the time to go to my bed and indulge in dreams and fantasies.( which i rarely had ).Let's go.May I get a good dream tonight.

And so,the cycle goes on and on.I watch silently as the pathetic episode unfold before me.It is the same as before.Those so-called matured adults arguing among themselves,fighting like barbarians and wild beasts instead of displaying a proper decorum as they were expected to have.

As expected,nothing have changed.No matter how much one say the transition from adolescence period to adulthood will be totally different,at the inner core,it is still the same.Sure, you might see one adult or two acting maturely and behaving properly for a moment,but sure enough,when trouble arises,out of the blues,you will see the kid from their heart emerging and taking control.

Fighting over silly things without any logic or rational reasoning whatsoever.Well,as expected anyway,they are after all ,still human =D.The reason I am saying all this are actually because of some colleagues in my workplace.

I am kinda fed up actually at how they act.Changing things all of a sudden and behaving in such inappropriate way.Either way,it is not really a big matter as it was soon settled with little or no harm to any sides involved =D.So,well,that's the summary for my working life for now.

Anyway,back to my personal life.Everything is going pretty smoothly so far.Compared to last time,this year was way more organized.And in a way I am actually earning money instead of wasting it =D.

However,there is a downfall too in working.The thing is, I will be sacrificing my precious time for the experience and monetary gains.I certainly hope it will be worth it.Apart from that,I am missing my freedom deeply.

The freedom of having flexible time.The freedom of being able to do whatever I want without any directions from the higher-ups.The freedom of not being bounded by contracts,rules and regulations.I miss them all.

But of course,among all of them,I miss going to school the most.I miss walking past the familiar scene,the accompanying green grass with the large field,seeing the familiar faces.I miss them all.My friends,my teachers,all those siao kias that sleep during history lesson,all those siao kias tat sing songs in the class,all those crazy things we did together ,breaking the rules as it was meant for. =D

I truly misses the old times .Really.What a fool I am for not appreciating the school life.Apart from that,I do misses my old friends too.

How I wish I can return to the past.But the reality is cruel.Life demands us to move forward without looking back.Sigh,i miss them all...I miss the past.Nevertheless,parting are necessary for every meeting.They have all gone through their own separate path now and thus,all I can do is to sit and pray may our paths intersect again in the future =D.Until then,best of luck to everyone.

" As I stare blankly at the frozen space,
My heart was sealed tightly,
I can simply watch,
As days and weeks fly past me,
As months and years seems just like a second ago,
And all the remorse and regrets I had over the yesteryears,
Just seems to be catching up now.

As I continue to indulge in the past,
Thousand thoughts passes the mind,
Inducing euphoria,confusion,and uncomprehendable grief.

What is it that I desire?
Like a fool wishing for a moon,
I keep on waiting,
Wishing for the impossibles.

But for now,

Living in life filled with uncertainties,
There is only one thing I can do.

No matter how time flow,
No matter how I ages,
No matter how my memory fade,
As long as this eyes can see,
And this man can breathe,
Shall I continue remembering thee.

"

"Next time when you work,you will know how hard is it to earn money."Sounds familiar?Well,i am pretty sure this statement is what most parents would tell u when you spend A LOT of money in a short amount of time.

Alright,maybe there are some parents that are rich and would tell their children " Don't worry,go on, spend more, I have a lot more for u" But sheesh thats not the point.(Darn it how I wish my parent would say that to me. ) .Anyway,as for me, the former statement appears to be my mom's favourite cliche.

And everytime she said that to me, I would just go " Ok ok, I understand" and well , continue asking for more money to spend the next day.At those time, all I could think of is fun,nothing more nothing less.Well,you can't blame me.I was still with my childish thinking that money is something that can be obtained easily just by working.And yeah, at that moment,the only hard and tough thing I can think of is study.

For me at that time,studying is the worst "job" ever.Nothing else could even come close to it.And I thought working life was nothing.Definitely working would be much easier than studying right?Well,the harsh truth is,NO,boy,I couldn't be more wrong than ever.

Despite the many controversies and contradictions people had about working life,I am sure there is one thing that they will eventually reach a consensus and agree on one thing,which is : Working life is tough.

It is completely on a different scale than studying.Compared to it,studying seems like a child's play.First of all,working depends heavily upon the environment and the job you are doing.Unlike in school,if you can't mix well with your colleagues,that's it.You will probably be working alone all long.Secondly,there are no rooms for mistakes in working life.One mistake and if you offended the boss,you'r gone.

Well,actually it varies.As I said,it relies heavily on the environment.I am lucky I landed a safe job,with good (but not the best ) colleagues and quite a reasonable boss.Though I must say,here in the supermarket I am working in,the standard is quite low.Everything,from the means of communications,management and with all due respect,even the ability of the managers themselves can be questioned.

However,there is one undeniable benefit in being there,that is the managers and the people there are good and kind.For now,I am quite satisfied actually.having a bunch of "ok" colleagues,a deserving manager,and a so-so job.Frankly,though,there are a lot of things I still wanna complain about,but considering I could even get a job,while there are many other jobless people out there,I should be grateful.

For time being,things are going well.Finally,I step out from my comfort zone and start working.Though,now I am slowly depriving time for my own self-enrichment.Is it worth it?I shall wait a while longer and see how it goes.Hopefully,things will get better = ].

By the way,in this few days I can't seems to stop thinking about the past.Nostalgias from the yesteryears are catching up,and I can no longer contain this feeling of excitement.I truly misses the old times.Ah....being a student is the best damn thing ever.How I wish I could relive those moments....

As my eyes start widening,I yawn and groan with dismay,knowing that it is still early.Being the typical lazy guy I am,I started rolling back and forth in the bed and then closed my eyes again,hoping I can be in another deep slumber and hopefully getting a happy dream.Nevertheless,it seems that Lady Luck isn't smiling at me this time.After a few minutes of fidgeting around trying to go into the world of dreams,I finally accept the fact.I can't sleep.

Alright then,so the first logical thing one would do after waking up would be checking the time right?So,I took the watch beside me and look at the time.My eyes widened again,this time a little wider.

*****

It is 5a.m in the morning now and what the hell am I doing here?Good question.What on earth am I doing,waking up on this unearthly hour and switching on the computer ?Well,the truth is,I love unearthly hours.Whether it is the extremely ungodly hours such as 1 a.m in the morning or 5a.m now,I love them.I love them to every bits.

And why is this so?Somehow,I felt that at this extreme hours,I will be able to find peace and solace,knowing that no one else but me is currently awake now (o.k maybe there are other siao kias like me too but that's not the point here ).Here,waking up at this very hour,somehow makes me feel sheer bliss,absolute solace and definite peace.

I am kind of nocturnal type of guy.You know,the one that likes sleeping late at night.On the other hand,I seems to be diurnal too,waking up on this early morning and staying active.Alright,maybe switching on the computer and typing out some words isn't a very "active" thing to do.But well,at least my mind is sharp and crystal clear now.

Moving on,I find this kind of ungodly hours make me easier to think.Around this time,there would probably be no disturbance and annoyances surrounding you ( Heck,who would disturb you at 5am in the morning? )So,I guess this is the perfect time for me to reflect on things that are happening around my life now.

Right now,my life doesn't revolve around anything.Well,except that the fact that I put monetary gain as my highest priority now = ).And... well,while watching other friends going overseas,going colleges,busy working,I felt that I have somewhat become smaller , not in the sense of size,but something else.Something involving feelings,something involving sense of responsibility.Yeah ,that's it.

As one of the breadwinners of the family,as the only son , and more importantly as a normal human being, I realize that the onus is on me to be better in life,just to make life better for all of us,me and my family.Yet,at this very hour ,till today,I have yet to done anything significant.Sure,there are some random moments where I suddenly become productive but that is not the point.

What I mean is a long term plan.A plan guaranteed to provide financial freedom,health fitness,and a prosperous future.I find myself very small and rather insignificant compared to the rest of my friends out there,currently already started working for their future while me,I am still rather clueless about my own future.

In my eyes,I see many forks and turns,roads splitting into several branches,and I see an endless paths with an indefinite end awaiting me.I shuddered in dismay,feeling a chill of apprehension about my uncertain future.

Sigh,perhaps all this thinking will make me duller.Perhaps I should stop all this nonsensical thoughts,perhaps I should stop thinking at all !...Nawh,I guess for the time being,I will just stick around and wait. = )

Perhaps by just waiting and following the flow and rhythm of life would be the most natural thing to do.Maybe,by doing that, I might eventually stumble across the right path.=D

Either way,time is moving too fast right now,so fast that I can literally feel my body rotting away with time.Now isn't the time to be thinking about future stuffs like that,now is the time to work for it.Well,lets go,time to get productive = D.

For all others who are currently working their way up the stairways of life,I wish you guys and girls,the best of luck and may you all attain peace,happiness and a prosperous life =D.

So,there ya go.While others are busy studying in college or doing other beneficial things such as working a long time ago,I wasted my month doing something rather insignificant.As such,this few days I struggle to find jobs,for I know,jobs are hard to find nowadays.

Thus,yesterday I was completely flabbergasted when I was informed that I got a job as a cashier in that certain hypermarket (which I would not disclose here as it would tarnish the reputation of that hypermarket [if u wanna know ask me directly ]).

After the brief interview ( which was conducted in a rather haphazard and rushing manner ) ,I was told that there are only one job available currently,which is the cashier.So,somehow, without any notice on what is going to happen to me, I rushed and took the job without any hesitation and consideration at all.Little did I know what awaits me in the next day...

The next day,which is Today,I woke up with all the excitement and anxiety surrounding me.With absolutely positive and optimistic attitude,I stride gleefully towards my new workplace,anticipating a friendly group of workmates,cozy environment and highly flexible working hour yet with a high pay.

To my absolute horror,the converse of my wishes actually happened.Ok,maybe the workmates are friendly enough,but the same cannot be said to the working hour and pay.Working hour from 12 afternoon till 11p.m at night, with the basic salary being Rm 600 for 3 weeks.Worth it or not?You guys be the judge = )

Actually,if I am able to work in a nice,cozy environment with a friendly group of colleagues, I don't mind at all having a low pay.Seriously.However,if I were to have to deal with the converse of it while being paid handsomely, I will surely quit for sure.A high pay is definitely not a substitute for a pleasant working experience.

That being said,I end up resigning after working only 5 hours.Pathetic huh?Yeah,call me weakling,loser,chicken,whatever, but I definitely would not work there any longer.I despise the hectic and constantly stressful environment there.And the constant threat of shortage of money..Bawh. Though, I truly respects those who are working there now.My hats off to them.Truly amazing.

Nevertheless,about the environment there,it is such a big company that everyone have their own separate lists of works to do.There is little to none communication there.That is what I despised.On a separate note, I would prefer a small workplace where everyone there works in perfect unison and maintain communication like a family.That,is what I call the perfect environment =D.

Anyhow,in my brief stint in this work,I find myself having the need to face the awful truth that reality offer.In the real world,things don't always go your way....In the real world,there exists many little schemes that are carefully crafted by masterminds of the corporate world in order to trap the young and inexperience ones .Like those tiny little webs layed by spiders,carefully constructed in order to trap preys.Lesson learned,Do not be too naive.Thats all I can say about this real world. = )

2008 had slipped away into the shadow,slowly inviting the fresh 2009 year to take over in a subtle,but pragmatic manner.

2008 has been a year filled with varieties of emotions.I have experienced the triumph of victory,the joy of being with friends,the sorrow of losing dreams,and countless other euphoric and appalling moments alike.It has truly been a crazy emotional roller coaster for me.

Let the review of that crazy year begin.
On Education & Future
-Nothing much except the fact that I finally graduated from Penang Free School,the school which was once considered prodigious and famous but now end up deteriorating till becoming a below average school.Frankly, I do not feel proud being in this school as of it's current state.However,no matter what ,it is still my alma mater.For that,I do hope it will be able to restore itself to it's former glory and I will help in any way possible .

-As for my future,nothing much has been planned,except the fact that I am just waiting for results in March and will go form 6 if the results are not good.Ironic isn't it?For months ,I have been the one opposing this Form 6 suggestion as strongly as possible and yet in the end I have to surrender my fate to it.

-I can only hope for the best.Certainly my priority now is to achieve financial freedom.Others can wait.Thats all for now.
On Lifestyle
-I am starting to love reading now.Yes,reading as in reading books ( no not the referrence book ).Books such as fictions and non -fiction self-enrichment type.Yeah that one. I love them now.Strange, from a book-hater to an avid book reader now,I have certainly come a long way.I am glad I started liking books. = D

-On the other hand,I haven't been slacking off on physical activities too.Recently,I have been involved in hiking...lots of lots of hiking =D.And did I mention the euphoria of playing badminton? Arh it is just pure ectasy.I love badminton.
On Relationship & Human Relations
-Been there,done it,gave up.Yeah,basically,it is kind of forgive and forget situation.Just that , I choose to forsake relationship for other priorities.Relationship really isn't that important anyway.
Only when one choose to forsake those, can one gain more friends.And that's exactly what I have done =D. And I am extremely glad I did it !

-Need to start working on human relations part.Next time I meet someone, I want to project an image of someone who have absolute confidence in himself and poise in stature yet humble and able to communicate perfectly.Will I be able to do it?Only time will tell =D.

Basically,thats it.All that pretty much sums up my life in the year 2008.It is not pretty good but it is not bad eiher,just so-so.Let's just hope up this 2009 year will be a better year and hopefully a decent one.Before I end this post,let me conclude it with the typical new year resolution.

I want to work hard to achieve my dreamss!!! Simple =D The rest of my resolutions shall be kept with myself!! Hopefully with that,my resolutions will become true ! Alright,that's all.Here wishing you guys and girls a merry and prosperous new year!!!