*BAMP* BAMP * BAMP* Noises everywhere. Buzzes .,Slowly but surely , the clattering noises echoed around the empty room , filling it entirely and plunging the entire atmosphere into a cacophony of mess and disasters. There is nothing but a chaotic mix of mess and turbulence. Then, the entire thing stopped. An awkward,dead silence ensued . And such.. is the metaphor for my heart now.
***
It's march. And i am getting used to this kind of writing style now. A short story-like description of my feelings and then the direct musings to follow up. Mm.. yeah.. I like this style. Without further ado, let's move to our main topic of musing tonight , as the title suggests , it's a self-reflection for the latest happening in my life so far. Woah.. I am feeling rather melancholy tonight, so this post is gonna be crazy long I guess .
It's march , the month of hustle and bustle ,the much dreaded and yet anticipated month of the year so far. Ah.. the irony . Such contradiction warrants a logical reasoning. Indeed, the question is why ? Why the dread ? Answer : because of the various activities that requires commitment will be having their main event on this particular month ,coupled with a few mid sem exams , hence the stress level is once again elevated to its maximum potential. Paradoxically , it's the same reason I anticipate march to end, because the end of march also marks the end of my hectic , busy , activity-centric life .Hooray!! Oxymoron much.
Hmm.. so what do this month mean to me? It means a lot. I have noticed that in this month , the focus of my uni life is more towards activities more than studies. In other words, I commit more to activities ( due to I taking in too much, more than I can handle , my fault anyway ) rather than to my academic performance. But that's fine , as I totally believe in the principle of getting on the job hands down rather than relying on second-handed information. I mean, if you never did get involved in that activity , how can you rate / comment on it based on just what other people said ?Besides, what rumours and gossip dictates can be falsely misleading ,and you will never know what to expect unless you joined it. So, bearing this principle behind my back, I resolved to join as much activities as I can in sem 1, which results in serious repercussion haunting me back now in this sem 2.
But it's alright. It's fine . I will just think of this semester as my experimentation sem . Now that I have done it all , seen it all , it's time to be selective and decisive the next time. I would have that wealth of information backing me up the next time I make a decision. I would be able to make an informed decision then. So , yeah.. this semester, this month in fact, have been such an eye-opener. I have seen and heard so much that it exceeds my expectation. It has been a harsh revelation to me for I have seen the good,bad and ugly nature of human.
The good,the bad and the ugly . These elements are fundamental in every human being, in fact , it's safe to say that almost everyone have them , it's just a matter or who have which element more . Call me cynical if you will, but I believe, deep inside, everyone did something for their own happiness/ benefits. Even the most good natured ,selfless people you have ever met, will do something for their own good one point or another. This is the basic survival instinct of human.And my hypothesis have been proven right. This month,I saw how some people, will for their own benefits , backstab others , badmouth the rest and do other seemingly trivial stuff that demeans and demonizes others . No matter how trivial it may seem, the motive is still there, to make ourselves happy , no matter the cost. Not that I am surprised with such clear results.
It's just that.. I expect something more in this university life. It's the big phase in our life afterall , University, the last schooling phase before we move on to the so called real world, working life. But no.. nothing much have changed after all. Pigs wearing human mask continue to rear their ugly heads , fools that don't think before they say anything , idiots that continue to baffle me with their idiotic mindset of pointing fingers and judging before putting themselves in others' shoes,people who keep on pretending and faking to gain sympathy, trust and benefits ,and worst of all , insensitive people who are incapable of sensing emotions and feelings. Tsk. it's frustrating really . Why are there people like that? But of course.. nobody is perfect, even I myself is susceptible to such fallacies. Yet, I can't help to think.... WHY? Why in the world do people fall prey to the above mentioned fallacies? IF , if and only if people can do more for the sake of others rather than for the sake of themselves just once, then definitely this world will be a much better place.
In the recent article that I read for the sake of my critical english course , there's a quote which I find very intriguing. " Love is the prime mover of relationships between human " . In this world, there's so many people who preach and teach about how love can save the world, yet how many of them are actually practising them ? I gave up being a good ,selfless person a long time ago when I saw how corrupted has this world become. In this cruel,realistic world, it's each one for yourself. There are indeed true, selfless people who sacrifices themselves for the sake of others ,but they are rare and few .Besides, will self sacrifice put food to your table? Will it make you and your precious ones happy ? It will, if everyone acts the same way, but unfortunately this world is filled with more pigs donning human mask rather than actual benevolent human being .
Hence, I came to this conclusion that in befriending people , one needs to be selective. Social network is important , but to get too close to another people will just expose you to his/her myriads of problems and ugly sides. Getting too personal may in turn hurts yourself. And it's best to avoid or just maintain minimal contact with other well-known cynical ,striving for personal gain bastards. Ah.. in this harsh world of reality , looking for a good friend/ love is like finding a needle in an ocean.
Recently , I re-watched a Hindi movie called "3 Idiots " again. ( Watch it if you haven't , it's a MUST WATCH ). The points made and its take on life is so spot-on that anyone who have intellect and a humour sense would definitely enjoy the movie and the message behind it. The movie talks about how one should have passion in whatever he/she is doing, as "striving for success is futile , we should strive for excellence, and if we do, success will come chasing us, pants down " ( quote from the movie ) and to strive for excellence, we must have passion in whatever that we do.
Then , a random thought hit me. What will I be feeling on my convocation day? In a mere blink of an eye, semester 2 has began and it's slowly coming to an end. What felt like an eternity suddenly became so close. The bitter reality that has sunk in is that in mere 2 and a half years, I will be leaving my university life and making the transition into working soon. How do I see myself in the future 2 and a half years? I will definitely be asking myself.. what have I done in this university life. Did I enjoy it ? Did I hate it? Are there any regrets? Resentments even? All these questions suddenly popped in my head. Am I doing the right thing now? The important question being " How should I live my next 2 and a half year in order to have no regrets in my convocation day? "
So many questions, yet so little answer. But that is life. Life is full of unanswered questions. And then there are questions with no real right or wrong answer. This reminds me of one of the late Steve Job's quote. "“You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards.” , his response to few of life’s challenges that hit him over the course of several years, , and looking back, he realized that that ended up being hugely significant towards later realizations in life. I think it’s really a great way of putting life’s challenges into perspective, or really, anything you do in life…looking back and seeing how they connect with where you are now.
So, right now , I still can't quite connect the dots yet.. but I trust that if I live my life in accordance to this question " How should I live my next 2 and a half year in order to have no regrets in my convocation day? " , I believe happiness can't be far from this huh? Oh well.. let it be and we will see... Till the next rant. Tata
- Listening to : Yotsuba no Clover
3/16/2012
3/03/2012
Quote
I walked a mile with Pleasure,
She chatted all the way,
But left me none the wiser,
For all she had to say.
I walked a mile with Sorrow,
And ne'er a word said she,
But oh! The things I learned from her,
When Sorrow walked with me.
Robert Browning Hamilton,
extract from Mitch Albom's " Have a little faith " .
She chatted all the way,
But left me none the wiser,
For all she had to say.
I walked a mile with Sorrow,
And ne'er a word said she,
But oh! The things I learned from her,
When Sorrow walked with me.
Robert Browning Hamilton,
extract from Mitch Albom's " Have a little faith " .
Unexpected
Surprise , Surprise, Life is full of unexpected surprises . Life is in a constant ever-changing environment . It is like a roller-coaster journey , full of tumultuous turns everywhere you go, never gonna know how the end will look like until the very end of the journey.
A lot of people equate life to alot of things. Life is a box of chocolate , Life is a pandora box , life.. and then they say too when life gives you lemon, you make lemonade . But I say , nothing rings more true than this quote " Life is a constant change . "
Now,I say this all the time , but I felt that this timeless phrase needs to be repeated as it holds true every single time.Life can take unexpected twists anytime. One moment you could be buried in the abyss deep down ,where you are filled with nothing but depression, gloom and grief , another moment , life will pull you and fling you up in cloud nine , filled with joy,happiness and love !
Take for example today , after a stress-filled , gloom-ridden , depressing month , I have finally became numb of it and started to become accustomed to it. I take it that destiny intends me to take this path , as down this path , a lot of questions popped up, and a lot of lessons have been learned too. Questions such as "Why me? " , "Am I doing the right thing?", " What will happen if I took another road? ".Then it sets me thinking , perhaps , all this stuff has already been inside the destiny which I have been imprinted and marked with ? What if , this is indeed what I should be doing , taking in all these sufferings and torments at first, exposing me to the worst of human nature and life's lesson , before attaining great successes and consequently a bright future?
Frankly though , my brush with destiny is rather odd one. I am not really a true believer of destiny since young . My mindset have always been affected by the wind of change , and I have paradigm shifts all the time. Perhaps , it's in my nature to be indecisive and easily swayed by external influence, but it's not a bad thing after all.
I digressed. As I mentioned ,after a stressful month , I am now finally learning adept to it. And just when I did , as if by a slight brush of fate , things started changing , for better. These few days , a few events have finally concluded , and there's only a few more stressful tasks to be met before I officially be declared free of all responsibility and pressure. And that is undeniably a GOOD thing for sure ;).
Today especially , I met a senior who I believe have the same kind of mindset that me , and we did a few small talks before engaging into a very meaningful discussion. He says he's a deep believer of fate and destiny , of how things have already been set into motion the moment you are born and basically we are all just following the pre-determined path that have been laid before us. Two people sharing the passion of music and dance , but with a slight different mentality at first, he believing in destiny , but I believing in people's potential to influence destiny and carve their own . When you put these kind of people together , a very meaningful and interesting result could be obtained from these meeting.
Through our conversation , I can sort of see a lil of my future self in him , seeing that he's several years older than me. By the end of the discussion , I reached a conclusive conclusion , that is the fact that , destiny may influence our life one time or another , but I strongly believe that , our every action , is capable of changing destiny itself. I guess a more accurate description would be that I believe in the parallel universe concept, that if you take one path instead of another, it will lead you to another world. Which means , this is just one of the parallel universe that we are living in, while in other instances where you take different actions , you end up living an entirely different life. For instance , you could have been an office worker living a regretful , 9-5 job ,struggling to make ends meet , but in an alternate universe , you could be living your dream life of being a rocker , making a living out of your true passion. Interesting, neh ?
So, after the chance meeting and talk with him , I have decided and in fact , confirm that the way I am living my life now is correct ,and that is the lifelong journey of continuous learning and improvement. A life that focuses solely on my own self-development in various aspects ,while not forgoing my passion and interest , and still maintaining a positive cash-flow and having a great social life to boot. Seems difficult huh? Certainly , but impossible? Certainly NOT!
In a nutshell, this will probably be the lifestyle that I will be applying in the next few years and let's just see how it goes. Right now , I am still high in the midst of ecstasy , in cloud nine , at the positive end of my mood fluctuation , but things might change again very soon, hopefully ,it will change for better ! As they say, you can never get enough the feeling of happiness and love. So ,let's fill this world with love , joy and happiness ! and hopefully I received a plenty of them back in the near future !!!
Alright , yours truly ( still high in ecstasy ) , signing off, bye ! Until the next documentation of my life journey ~ Tata!
A lot of people equate life to alot of things. Life is a box of chocolate , Life is a pandora box , life.. and then they say too when life gives you lemon, you make lemonade . But I say , nothing rings more true than this quote " Life is a constant change . "
Now,I say this all the time , but I felt that this timeless phrase needs to be repeated as it holds true every single time.Life can take unexpected twists anytime. One moment you could be buried in the abyss deep down ,where you are filled with nothing but depression, gloom and grief , another moment , life will pull you and fling you up in cloud nine , filled with joy,happiness and love !
Take for example today , after a stress-filled , gloom-ridden , depressing month , I have finally became numb of it and started to become accustomed to it. I take it that destiny intends me to take this path , as down this path , a lot of questions popped up, and a lot of lessons have been learned too. Questions such as "Why me? " , "Am I doing the right thing?", " What will happen if I took another road? ".Then it sets me thinking , perhaps , all this stuff has already been inside the destiny which I have been imprinted and marked with ? What if , this is indeed what I should be doing , taking in all these sufferings and torments at first, exposing me to the worst of human nature and life's lesson , before attaining great successes and consequently a bright future?
Frankly though , my brush with destiny is rather odd one. I am not really a true believer of destiny since young . My mindset have always been affected by the wind of change , and I have paradigm shifts all the time. Perhaps , it's in my nature to be indecisive and easily swayed by external influence, but it's not a bad thing after all.
I digressed. As I mentioned ,after a stressful month , I am now finally learning adept to it. And just when I did , as if by a slight brush of fate , things started changing , for better. These few days , a few events have finally concluded , and there's only a few more stressful tasks to be met before I officially be declared free of all responsibility and pressure. And that is undeniably a GOOD thing for sure ;).
Today especially , I met a senior who I believe have the same kind of mindset that me , and we did a few small talks before engaging into a very meaningful discussion. He says he's a deep believer of fate and destiny , of how things have already been set into motion the moment you are born and basically we are all just following the pre-determined path that have been laid before us. Two people sharing the passion of music and dance , but with a slight different mentality at first, he believing in destiny , but I believing in people's potential to influence destiny and carve their own . When you put these kind of people together , a very meaningful and interesting result could be obtained from these meeting.
Through our conversation , I can sort of see a lil of my future self in him , seeing that he's several years older than me. By the end of the discussion , I reached a conclusive conclusion , that is the fact that , destiny may influence our life one time or another , but I strongly believe that , our every action , is capable of changing destiny itself. I guess a more accurate description would be that I believe in the parallel universe concept, that if you take one path instead of another, it will lead you to another world. Which means , this is just one of the parallel universe that we are living in, while in other instances where you take different actions , you end up living an entirely different life. For instance , you could have been an office worker living a regretful , 9-5 job ,struggling to make ends meet , but in an alternate universe , you could be living your dream life of being a rocker , making a living out of your true passion. Interesting, neh ?
So, after the chance meeting and talk with him , I have decided and in fact , confirm that the way I am living my life now is correct ,and that is the lifelong journey of continuous learning and improvement. A life that focuses solely on my own self-development in various aspects ,while not forgoing my passion and interest , and still maintaining a positive cash-flow and having a great social life to boot. Seems difficult huh? Certainly , but impossible? Certainly NOT!
In a nutshell, this will probably be the lifestyle that I will be applying in the next few years and let's just see how it goes. Right now , I am still high in the midst of ecstasy , in cloud nine , at the positive end of my mood fluctuation , but things might change again very soon, hopefully ,it will change for better ! As they say, you can never get enough the feeling of happiness and love. So ,let's fill this world with love , joy and happiness ! and hopefully I received a plenty of them back in the near future !!!
Alright , yours truly ( still high in ecstasy ) , signing off, bye ! Until the next documentation of my life journey ~ Tata!
2/13/2012
This V-Day.
It took only a fraction of a second , yet that was more than enough to identify you , amongst all the beautiful and splendid women in the world , to be the one, the perfect one for me.Our eyes met each other for the first time that night. Heart skipping a beat , adrenalin started pumping a little faster. synapses begin snapping a little quicker . Cold sweats started pouring out of every pores of my skin as I began to wonder, what would be the best pick-up line that would make the best impression of me in your very eyes . But I was at Father Time's mercy , as the clocks start ticking away, I began running out of ideas and eventually have to settle with a " Hi , my name is ..." , ending with a slightly forced,nervous smile.
Your face broke into a mischievous grin,then into a magnificent smile , obviously smiling at how silly I must have been =).
***
If I could, I would look you in the eyes, your arms in mine , embracing you ever so tenderly , with no troubles whatsoever in my mind , only us,staring at the beautiful ,picturesque night scenery.With the boundless sky on top of us and evanescent stars in the background shining and dimming in perfect synchrony,only heaven bear witness to our everlasting love memory in this time and space that belongs to only us.
Then,slowly but surely , the momentum of the moment will spur us to move,our lips will be locked together ,entwined and seal the moment,the moment where time would froze for that instant and that particular memory will be forged in my mind as one of my true love snapshot.
***
Ah,.. it's that day of the year again , the much loved and hated day of the year, the day where I have most complications with , bearing mixed feelings towards it . The day, dreaded by singletons in this world , welcomed by lovebirds and couples all around , it's the Valentine's Day !
I have always had mixed feelings towards Valentine's day , the happy feeling for the hope and expectation it always brings ,almost like a second chance of love , the sad feeling for the doom and gloom of having to celebrate it alone.This year is no different.Despite a few setbacks and some doom and gloom that kickstarted my sem 2 , I am determined to make it work ! It's Valentine!!! It's time of forgiveness, joy , happiness and most importantly , LOVE !!!
Love should be in the air , not emoness ;)
As mentioned afore , my feelings are akin to a non-stop rollercoaster journey, one moment it may be extreme depression , another escalating to extreme high. Indeed, the changes is extreme. I overused the word extreme, didn't I? Haha and hence, here I am , on the other end of fluctuation , the positive , overzealous side of me having boundless zest towards positive life!
So,yeah in this special season of love of the year , I wish nothing more than to find joy , happiness and love. That's all , concise and simple wish. Nothing complicated or over the moon. ;) After all these setbacks , I have finally learnt that in the end, nothing matters more than the simplest wish or desires our heart yearns for , after all, the people of the past , our grandparents and great ancestors are able to make do without those luxurious ,materialistic possessions and live just as happily as ever , with just love . So, why can't we?
I have learnt that I complained and ranted too much about things that I lack , yet failing to count the blessings of things that I already have . Such ignorance. Often, man tries too hard to strive for perfection , only to find that the things that they needed the most, have already been in their possession all along . So yeah, stop ranting , and start appreciating!
May this season of love changes us ,and the people around us to be more caring ,tolerant , and loving to each other. May love be in the air . May people worry less and start being happy more ! Let us just love each other !!! Last but not least , may that special someone of mine always be happy =) and find me soon *lol hurry, while I am still on the verge of sanity and not desperate* XD
Oh well , love takes time to groom I guess. Anyhow , it has been a rather random and incoherent post . But that's how I intended it to be . Just pure , unedited ,unadulterated posting , fresh from my mind factory. It's crazy what happened today. I had many crazy ideas and dreams today , i. e the sudden impulse to be a column editor in the star , a k-pop superstar, a kick-ass , elite guitarist capable of playing everything ,Arnold Schwarzenegger,valedictorian and etc. But I guess it's all part and parcel of life's endless lessons. Come tomorrow, a new day begins , and with a new beginning, brings new hope and aspirations. And I shall have faith and trust in this new beginning. May everything truly be alright this time.
In this V-day , I wish everybody to be able to celebrate their Valentine's Day with happiness, even if you are a singleton or in a relationship , always appreciate the things that you already have now. Happy Valentine's Day . Smile ! =)
Your face broke into a mischievous grin,then into a magnificent smile , obviously smiling at how silly I must have been =).
***
If I could, I would look you in the eyes, your arms in mine , embracing you ever so tenderly , with no troubles whatsoever in my mind , only us,staring at the beautiful ,picturesque night scenery.With the boundless sky on top of us and evanescent stars in the background shining and dimming in perfect synchrony,only heaven bear witness to our everlasting love memory in this time and space that belongs to only us.
Then,slowly but surely , the momentum of the moment will spur us to move,our lips will be locked together ,entwined and seal the moment,the moment where time would froze for that instant and that particular memory will be forged in my mind as one of my true love snapshot.
***
Ah,.. it's that day of the year again , the much loved and hated day of the year, the day where I have most complications with , bearing mixed feelings towards it . The day, dreaded by singletons in this world , welcomed by lovebirds and couples all around , it's the Valentine's Day !
I have always had mixed feelings towards Valentine's day , the happy feeling for the hope and expectation it always brings ,almost like a second chance of love , the sad feeling for the doom and gloom of having to celebrate it alone.This year is no different.Despite a few setbacks and some doom and gloom that kickstarted my sem 2 , I am determined to make it work ! It's Valentine!!! It's time of forgiveness, joy , happiness and most importantly , LOVE !!!Love should be in the air , not emoness ;)
As mentioned afore , my feelings are akin to a non-stop rollercoaster journey, one moment it may be extreme depression , another escalating to extreme high. Indeed, the changes is extreme. I overused the word extreme, didn't I? Haha and hence, here I am , on the other end of fluctuation , the positive , overzealous side of me having boundless zest towards positive life!
So,yeah in this special season of love of the year , I wish nothing more than to find joy , happiness and love. That's all , concise and simple wish. Nothing complicated or over the moon. ;) After all these setbacks , I have finally learnt that in the end, nothing matters more than the simplest wish or desires our heart yearns for , after all, the people of the past , our grandparents and great ancestors are able to make do without those luxurious ,materialistic possessions and live just as happily as ever , with just love . So, why can't we?
I have learnt that I complained and ranted too much about things that I lack , yet failing to count the blessings of things that I already have . Such ignorance. Often, man tries too hard to strive for perfection , only to find that the things that they needed the most, have already been in their possession all along . So yeah, stop ranting , and start appreciating!
May this season of love changes us ,and the people around us to be more caring ,tolerant , and loving to each other. May love be in the air . May people worry less and start being happy more ! Let us just love each other !!! Last but not least , may that special someone of mine always be happy =) and find me soon *lol hurry, while I am still on the verge of sanity and not desperate* XD
Oh well , love takes time to groom I guess. Anyhow , it has been a rather random and incoherent post . But that's how I intended it to be . Just pure , unedited ,unadulterated posting , fresh from my mind factory. It's crazy what happened today. I had many crazy ideas and dreams today , i. e the sudden impulse to be a column editor in the star , a k-pop superstar, a kick-ass , elite guitarist capable of playing everything ,Arnold Schwarzenegger,valedictorian and etc. But I guess it's all part and parcel of life's endless lessons. Come tomorrow, a new day begins , and with a new beginning, brings new hope and aspirations. And I shall have faith and trust in this new beginning. May everything truly be alright this time.
In this V-day , I wish everybody to be able to celebrate their Valentine's Day with happiness, even if you are a singleton or in a relationship , always appreciate the things that you already have now. Happy Valentine's Day . Smile ! =)
2/10/2012
Reality
I used to feel that I was invincible, invulnerable even . I used to think that one day, I will be able to conquer the world, making it dance on the palm of my hand . I used to think that stress and negative feelings won’t get to me , that I am practically immune to such things that only applies to the weaklings.
Indeed, ignorance is a bliss , and when the truth hits, it hurts, hurts real bad.
***
Maybe this is a stereotype, an over generalization , but whatever it is , it remains a truth with majority of the people. There’s an unspoken rule that those who appears cheerful and most happy on the surface , are the people who actually suffers the most deep down inside when they are alone. After much encounter with such people, I realize that this is a fact. And these kind of people who are usually happy-go-lucky on the outside, are the ones that are most emotionally sensitive. And yours truly happens to be in this particular category of people.
Now, the thing is, these type of people are practically the most difficult type of people to deal with. They put on a poker face and a fake smile, expecting you to decipher their innermost desires by just looking at them. They like to seek attention and be the centre of it . However, that is only a momentarily high that they seek, their true satisfaction comes from being with those who can look past their poker face and fake smile, deep into their heart and understand them fully .Unfortunately, the society nowadays Is too shallow and too judgmental that they only look at the surface to judge someone.
***
Now,my last post was about how I reached K.L and wondering what awaits me in the following days.Well, it’s been a full week after that last post,and I have gotten the answer. What actually happened in that last week? Hell , I would say. It turns out that I have juggling with too much things than I can handle. On 3rd of February , I went to Malacca for my first camp , a musical camp called Da Yao, a camp to prepare us for a performance on the near end of March ( I am in the dance group of the performance ). Obviously , the torture part is inherent as I felt like I was being ripped off and forced to go at first ( it was RM 120 for 4D 3N camp and there are a whole lot of complications about the camp in which we,the participants aren’t been divulged the details at first ). But ,I went ahead anyway because I already paid.
The hell part is evident as we have to wake up at around 5 am every morning to practice dancing , sleep again at around 7 am , and proceed with the activities scheduled for the camp until late midnight before the cycle repeats itself again and again . At this point, I might hear some of you thinking or saying “ hey,you call that hell? That’s not so bad, I once had a camp where I didn’t sleep at all for a week.. bla bla “ or something similar to that. You know what ? Yeah, I totally agree with you. That ain’t so bad afterall for normal people that is.. I am abnormal in a way. Aside from my eye complications, I have my acne-prone skin to take care of. So,factoring in these two stuff, and the stress and pressure that caused all those small little craters to break out simultaneously and jeopardizing my face, turning it into a perfect canvas for disaster and making me look like a monster, what do you think now? Hell yet?
The thing is, I really hate people who talks as if they know it all. Those people who always just considered that situation as the most stressful and worst of all without considering the fact that there are others worst than them . Sometimes, I might fall prey to this self-centered attitude too, but more than often I always try to put myself In their shoes first. But I just can’t stand people who starts shooting you as if they have been there and experienced your situation first hand while in actual fact , they are totally clueless about your pain and misery.The worst kind of people, are those that never tries to understand people and only speak from their own perspective. Though, I know that most of us, if not all, are liable to these accusation one point or another , but please , I plead and beg of you, I implore you all to just stop and try to think for a second about their situation from their point of view before you start judging them. If everyone could just be a little bit more compassionate and do this , I am sure this world will be much better.
I digressed. Now, back to my camp story. It’s not all doom and gloom though , aside from the abnormalities on my face, I kinda enjoyed the atmosphere there. The people there are exceptionally talented and ridiculously crazy and funny too. And to be able to be together with them , sharing the same passion of music and dance, to learn new things together ,and to be able to be a part of their big family , certainly does put a smile to my face ;). ( though the experience would definitely be infinitely better without my breakouts . I would definitely enjoyed it more ).
So, anyway , when the camp ends and I have to go back to my uni for my second “camp” ( I considered it a camp as afterall, we will be just training and practicing the entire week ) , I leaved with mixed feelings , a feeling of relief as I don’t have to be sleep deprived and wake up at ungodly hour to practice anymore , and a tinge of sadness, I would not be able to see those great people and learn more with them for a while.
Anyway,first camp ended, and the second one has started. This one is better as I don’t have to wake up so early anymore but still not that much different as I have to adhere to a strict schedule too ( due to the fact that I took up too many things ) . Just to give you a glimpse of how I am surviving in that one week ordeal , this is my schedule everyday. 1.30 pm to 4.00 pm choir practice morning session , 7.00 pm to 11.00 pm choir practice night session . > 11.00 pm drama session till midnight , and the nightmare continues again the very next day.
At this point of time, most people who came back early to join this camp are already filled with pangs of guilt and regret , regret because they came back on 5th of February while the rest of their uni friends are still having their holiday until 19th of February. Well, I came back on 2nd .. and the fact that I have another camp on 10th of February ( AIESEC camp ) to worry about just made it worse . The stress and pressures were unbearable . Maybe , to some of you, this level of stress is normal , not even a stress perhaps, but hey , everyone is different , and my limit just happens to be a slightly lower . Then, it finally got to me. I just couldn’t stand it anymore. I hit rock bottom and depression sets in. I just couldn’t stand the thoughts of being in this place , and going to another stress-filled camp anymore. I already too much more than what I am capable of handling.
So, on 10th of February , I listened to my heart instead. I chose to forgo all reasons and logics and instead embraced my instinct . My conscience was clear. I chose to be happy. ;)
***
Whatever happens next , will be beyond my control , but I do know that , I will not have any regrets making this decision. As the wind of change sweeps in and the cool,light breeze gently swept pass my face, I knew I was right.This familiar feeling of comfort …… I have arrived ;).
2/02/2012
Sometimes...
*dup dup * Heart palpitates with furious beats, with each beat producing a more distinctly louder thumping sound than the previous beat , eventually it reaches even the echoes of my ears then *thump* a loud thump , and a sudden stop.
*Dead silence*
Then, a ray of light shines glamorously towards me ,signalling the end of my bus trip. I have arrived , finally, at K.L , again.
***
My mind just refuses to think anymore . Too much worries and stress clouded my rational thinking that my brain decides to just give up on thinking about it. I have been to K.L for more than 10 times already now, yet the 5 hours bus journey from my hometown , Penang to K.L has never failed to amaze me . Each bus journey is always different from the previous one due to the different kind of bus and the roads they travel , but one thing remains more or less the same ,the travel time.
This time is no difference. I boarded the bus at 3.30 pm and reached Pudu Sentral at approximately 9 pm. That is a freaking 5 hours and 30 minutes travel time in a bus.But I am not complaining. There's a cliche that says that you will only realize how important some stuff is after you lost it. I learnt this the hard way. I have lost the precious time that I could spend in my hometown , sacrificing it for some other activities. While other people are going back to their respective uni on 19th of February, here I am , ranting about my predicament right in my university on 2nd of February. Not exactly something I really wanted.
But then again, as the camp and activities have yet to be executed, I shouldn't be judgmental and assume that I will be happier at home rather than here for the next 2 weeks. Who knows, the next 2 week here would be the best time I will ever have in my life? Haha , hopes ~ ahh
I digressed, anyhow, as I have mentioned before, every bus journey is different, and 5 hours 30 minutes is a pretty long time . And being a big thinker that thinks a lot, I used a a bulk of that time to reflect on my current self .
I am sure there are a lot of people that think of me as that friendly,happy-go-lucky, childish guy that always goes around making people laugh , the silly joker, clown that won't grow up forever.Heck,even I think myself to be like that sometimes. But then again, deep inside my heart, it's not really who I wanna be. I have never intended to be childish and be the silly joker that makes people laugh while suffering all the gloom and despair myself. I never did. But it just so happened to be that my outer shell , the way I presented myself is like that. All I ever wanted was to make people happy, and I succeed, most of the time anyway. But in the end , I myself am the one who suffers the most.
I truly refuse to be thought as the childish clown anymore. I refuse to accept such label and I intended to change all that. What I truly wanna be is the matured , helpful guy that is worth being considered as potential partner, not some silly clown that is helpful , but forever be in the friend zone. And I notice i complain too much too sometimes , often for a good reason and logical purpose, but it just seems that people fail to understand why I did that sometimes? Is it wrong to stand up for what you believe in? Is it wrong to be romantic and sensitive? Is it wrong to act the way I am yet still believing in hope? As my reflection goes on , so does my bus continue moving...
As I approaches my destination , slowly but surely , a familiar feeling began to surface from the corner of my heart , accelerating my heart beats rate . Ah... the unwelcomed feeling of loneliness and darkness have arrived . I hate to say this , but even I can get scared and lonely sometimes. No, a better way to phrase this is that everyone gets lonely,depressed and gloomy sometimes. This is especially true to those who always smiles a lot and cheerful in front of people. In fact, these kind of people are the most prone to loneliness and depression. Damn it, if only more people would realize that .
****
Now,let's go back a little in time shall we? Today is rather tumultuous day for me . I woke up at 7 am with a deep feeling of anxiety and uncertainty. Anxiety, because my face is still full of acne scars and the fact that I will have to meet a few of my old friends and even juniors in a few minutes time scares me.Uncertainty, because I know that today will be the day I go back to K.L and faces all the people still with my badly damaged face.I am very tempted to just skip all of the activities and isolates myself from the rest, forming my own social seclusion and abstain from meeting anyone until my face cures , but unfortunately , my moral obligation forbids me from doing so.
So, off I go , meeting my old friends and juniors with a poker face and a fake smile on my face, pretending not to give a single damn about my appearance when I am itching to just dig a hole and bury myself deep inside.And I even resisted my rational idea of staying home and board the 3.30 pm bus to K.L anyway.Now, back to the bus journey.
***
I pride myself as being the master of my emotions ,able to manipulate and control my emotions as I wish , yet sometimes I fall prey to them. When you are riding a bus alone for 5 hours 30 minutes, arriving at an unfamiliar dark place far different from your hometown , and knowing that there's still some distance from the place bus drop you and your hostel, and the fact that you have to walk back alone carrying 3 bags in an unsecured place ALONE ,can be rather fearsome = ).So yeah, I succumbed to that negative thoughts for awhile.
But my emotions fluctuates like a rollercoaster ride, it can go extremely high one moment and goes right to severe depression the next moment. And luckily , this has worked in my favour this time. When I was boarding the LRT , it occured to me that no matter what I think of, life still goes on.
True, there might be no one who is able to understand me the way I am now , and I might get lonely and depressed from time to time , yearning for a woman who understands me and who will nurture me with love, but hey, THIS IS HOW LIFE WORKS. Life is naturally unfair ,and obstacles and challenges are bound to be in your way. Obviously , you have two choices , keep on complaining and wallowing in your self-pity OR SUCK IT ALL UP and MOVE ON !!! ;)
I have read somewhere that negative thoughts and stress are bad for my skin ... ah.. that explains it. So, now I am doing everything in my power to stop those negative thoughts as well as a whole lot of other stuff ( diet ,lifestyle ,etc ). To my body and mind, I am seriously doing my best now, so please cooperate with me and get rid of those acnes and scars , please? =) I trust that you can.
And to my emotional self, don't worry , just be happy.Stress and negative thoughts won't do you any good. Give yourself a pat on the back and nurture your soul with positive energies. You will find the one soon ! Your face will heal itself soon ! Everything is gonna be okay soon!! :)
There's a quote that sounds like this , "In the midst of every difficulty, lies opportunity " ,hence, survive this ordeal, and you will definitely be stronger and better than the rest.
Last but not least, recently I have found an old cliche in which I am determined to embed as my own personal motto. This is it !
" Everything will be okay in the end . If it's not okay , then it's not the end yet ;) ".
Let tomorrow and the days after that be filled with joy, happiness and lots of lots of love ~ =D
*Dead silence*
Then, a ray of light shines glamorously towards me ,signalling the end of my bus trip. I have arrived , finally, at K.L , again.
***
My mind just refuses to think anymore . Too much worries and stress clouded my rational thinking that my brain decides to just give up on thinking about it. I have been to K.L for more than 10 times already now, yet the 5 hours bus journey from my hometown , Penang to K.L has never failed to amaze me . Each bus journey is always different from the previous one due to the different kind of bus and the roads they travel , but one thing remains more or less the same ,the travel time.
This time is no difference. I boarded the bus at 3.30 pm and reached Pudu Sentral at approximately 9 pm. That is a freaking 5 hours and 30 minutes travel time in a bus.But I am not complaining. There's a cliche that says that you will only realize how important some stuff is after you lost it. I learnt this the hard way. I have lost the precious time that I could spend in my hometown , sacrificing it for some other activities. While other people are going back to their respective uni on 19th of February, here I am , ranting about my predicament right in my university on 2nd of February. Not exactly something I really wanted.
But then again, as the camp and activities have yet to be executed, I shouldn't be judgmental and assume that I will be happier at home rather than here for the next 2 weeks. Who knows, the next 2 week here would be the best time I will ever have in my life? Haha , hopes ~ ahh
I digressed, anyhow, as I have mentioned before, every bus journey is different, and 5 hours 30 minutes is a pretty long time . And being a big thinker that thinks a lot, I used a a bulk of that time to reflect on my current self .
I am sure there are a lot of people that think of me as that friendly,happy-go-lucky, childish guy that always goes around making people laugh , the silly joker, clown that won't grow up forever.Heck,even I think myself to be like that sometimes. But then again, deep inside my heart, it's not really who I wanna be. I have never intended to be childish and be the silly joker that makes people laugh while suffering all the gloom and despair myself. I never did. But it just so happened to be that my outer shell , the way I presented myself is like that. All I ever wanted was to make people happy, and I succeed, most of the time anyway. But in the end , I myself am the one who suffers the most.
I truly refuse to be thought as the childish clown anymore. I refuse to accept such label and I intended to change all that. What I truly wanna be is the matured , helpful guy that is worth being considered as potential partner, not some silly clown that is helpful , but forever be in the friend zone. And I notice i complain too much too sometimes , often for a good reason and logical purpose, but it just seems that people fail to understand why I did that sometimes? Is it wrong to stand up for what you believe in? Is it wrong to be romantic and sensitive? Is it wrong to act the way I am yet still believing in hope? As my reflection goes on , so does my bus continue moving...
As I approaches my destination , slowly but surely , a familiar feeling began to surface from the corner of my heart , accelerating my heart beats rate . Ah... the unwelcomed feeling of loneliness and darkness have arrived . I hate to say this , but even I can get scared and lonely sometimes. No, a better way to phrase this is that everyone gets lonely,depressed and gloomy sometimes. This is especially true to those who always smiles a lot and cheerful in front of people. In fact, these kind of people are the most prone to loneliness and depression. Damn it, if only more people would realize that .
****
Now,let's go back a little in time shall we? Today is rather tumultuous day for me . I woke up at 7 am with a deep feeling of anxiety and uncertainty. Anxiety, because my face is still full of acne scars and the fact that I will have to meet a few of my old friends and even juniors in a few minutes time scares me.Uncertainty, because I know that today will be the day I go back to K.L and faces all the people still with my badly damaged face.I am very tempted to just skip all of the activities and isolates myself from the rest, forming my own social seclusion and abstain from meeting anyone until my face cures , but unfortunately , my moral obligation forbids me from doing so.
So, off I go , meeting my old friends and juniors with a poker face and a fake smile on my face, pretending not to give a single damn about my appearance when I am itching to just dig a hole and bury myself deep inside.And I even resisted my rational idea of staying home and board the 3.30 pm bus to K.L anyway.Now, back to the bus journey.
***
I pride myself as being the master of my emotions ,able to manipulate and control my emotions as I wish , yet sometimes I fall prey to them. When you are riding a bus alone for 5 hours 30 minutes, arriving at an unfamiliar dark place far different from your hometown , and knowing that there's still some distance from the place bus drop you and your hostel, and the fact that you have to walk back alone carrying 3 bags in an unsecured place ALONE ,can be rather fearsome = ).So yeah, I succumbed to that negative thoughts for awhile.
But my emotions fluctuates like a rollercoaster ride, it can go extremely high one moment and goes right to severe depression the next moment. And luckily , this has worked in my favour this time. When I was boarding the LRT , it occured to me that no matter what I think of, life still goes on.
True, there might be no one who is able to understand me the way I am now , and I might get lonely and depressed from time to time , yearning for a woman who understands me and who will nurture me with love, but hey, THIS IS HOW LIFE WORKS. Life is naturally unfair ,and obstacles and challenges are bound to be in your way. Obviously , you have two choices , keep on complaining and wallowing in your self-pity OR SUCK IT ALL UP and MOVE ON !!! ;)
I have read somewhere that negative thoughts and stress are bad for my skin ... ah.. that explains it. So, now I am doing everything in my power to stop those negative thoughts as well as a whole lot of other stuff ( diet ,lifestyle ,etc ). To my body and mind, I am seriously doing my best now, so please cooperate with me and get rid of those acnes and scars , please? =) I trust that you can.
And to my emotional self, don't worry , just be happy.Stress and negative thoughts won't do you any good. Give yourself a pat on the back and nurture your soul with positive energies. You will find the one soon ! Your face will heal itself soon ! Everything is gonna be okay soon!! :)
There's a quote that sounds like this , "In the midst of every difficulty, lies opportunity " ,hence, survive this ordeal, and you will definitely be stronger and better than the rest.
Last but not least, recently I have found an old cliche in which I am determined to embed as my own personal motto. This is it !
" Everything will be okay in the end . If it's not okay , then it's not the end yet ;) ".
Let tomorrow and the days after that be filled with joy, happiness and lots of lots of love ~ =D
2/01/2012
Romance
"Adolescence is like a heavy rain. Even though you catch a cold from it, you still look forward to experiencing it once again"And that .. is the basic premise of the wonderful romantic movie, You Are The Apple of My Eye.
Recently, I just finished watching two Taiwan romantic movies , namely Love You You ( 夏日乐悠悠 ) starring Eddie Peng and AngelaBaby and another widely popular ,acclaimed movie called You Are The Apple of My Eye ( 那些年，我們一起追的女孩 ) .These two movies appealed to me alot, especially the latter one, which gave me a lasting impression.
While the first movie is just mediocre , the story was rather touching and the second movie.. is just mind blowing .I have to say, to a pure romanticist , these two movies are an absolute bliss, and very addicting ( especially the second one) Though, the thing is after watching the movies, whenever I asked some of my friends about the movies , most of them respond with a rather not so hyped response , female friends especially , mostly replied that these two movies are either normal or just mediocre at best, with a few even saying it's not interesting.
Then, it set me thinking , I could understand if people say Love You You is not interesting , but 那些年? NOT INTERESTING? How could it be ? The movie, which I consider the pinnacle and epitome of all romance movies I have watched so far, the movie which caused torrents of tears to come gushing down from my eye , the heart-wrenching , tear-jerking ,soul-grasping movie that have become a world wide phenomenon. I just couldn't believe it . Perhaps those who have read the novel would say that the novel is much better,hence somehow heightens the expectation people have about the movie . But then again, there are still alot of people that haven't read the novel , went in and watched the movie and still think it sucks. Moreover,not to be sexist,but I can't help noticing that most of the people are female viewers o.O.
What does this mean? Is love dead? Are females nowadays less romantic than females of the yesteryear ?Could it be true that females nowadays have less passion and romance and chose to focus more on the pragmatic side of the world ,i.e wealth and fame? I wonder... Hopefully ,this is not the case. I guess a youtuber's comment regarding the first movie put it best when he said " And THAT sole reason alone is what makes this movie GOOD! The idea, that the usual kiss takes a movie romantic is pure bullshit. As a guy, hopeless romantic, and romanticist. I found every aspect of this movie entertaining. You don't need a kiss to show, that love is there. As a critic of love stories this one deserves a 4/5. The movie twists the norm of how people view love stories".
On another note, Valentine Day is just around the corner , are you guys ready to date the girl of your dream? ;) Will you be spending it with your partner, or will you be spending it alone? For me, I think it would be just me alone, or perhaps with some of my friends ;).I would be lying though if I don't feel the least bit of sadness spending it with friends/alone again this year. But after watching these movies, I have finally came to a realization that not everyone felt the same way towards love as I feel. I am a romanticist , a pure one too. Hence, I guess the girl of my life have to be of the same type of people I am to complement each other ;). I used to believe love can be nurtured, but I guess it was wrong, not in my case perhaps.Now, I wonder does romantic people still exist? I wonder.. will I still have a chance to be the romanticist i always wanted to be? I wonder and ponder ....
Now, all I can do is just keep on improving myself ,waiting for my own version of Shen Chia-yi to appear ;) . In the meantime, I will just keep on hope and pray that the two curses that I mentioned afore will be lifted off soon enough . I am trusting my mind and body for this one.Slowly,but surely, all of these dreadful stuff will be gone soon and only the good things will come if I continue to believe in myself.
To all the blessed couples out there, stay true to your partner and enjoy yourselves to the most this coming Valentine ;)
To all the singletons as myself xD , be happy you don't have to deal with relationship problems lol ,and rest assured, love will come to you soon if you just believe in it!!!
That's all for now , hopeless romanticist signing out~ ;)
Recently, I just finished watching two Taiwan romantic movies , namely Love You You ( 夏日乐悠悠 ) starring Eddie Peng and AngelaBaby and another widely popular ,acclaimed movie called You Are The Apple of My Eye ( 那些年，我們一起追的女孩 ) .These two movies appealed to me alot, especially the latter one, which gave me a lasting impression.
While the first movie is just mediocre , the story was rather touching and the second movie.. is just mind blowing .I have to say, to a pure romanticist , these two movies are an absolute bliss, and very addicting ( especially the second one) Though, the thing is after watching the movies, whenever I asked some of my friends about the movies , most of them respond with a rather not so hyped response , female friends especially , mostly replied that these two movies are either normal or just mediocre at best, with a few even saying it's not interesting.
Then, it set me thinking , I could understand if people say Love You You is not interesting , but 那些年? NOT INTERESTING? How could it be ? The movie, which I consider the pinnacle and epitome of all romance movies I have watched so far, the movie which caused torrents of tears to come gushing down from my eye , the heart-wrenching , tear-jerking ,soul-grasping movie that have become a world wide phenomenon. I just couldn't believe it . Perhaps those who have read the novel would say that the novel is much better,hence somehow heightens the expectation people have about the movie . But then again, there are still alot of people that haven't read the novel , went in and watched the movie and still think it sucks. Moreover,not to be sexist,but I can't help noticing that most of the people are female viewers o.O.
What does this mean? Is love dead? Are females nowadays less romantic than females of the yesteryear ?Could it be true that females nowadays have less passion and romance and chose to focus more on the pragmatic side of the world ,i.e wealth and fame? I wonder... Hopefully ,this is not the case. I guess a youtuber's comment regarding the first movie put it best when he said " And THAT sole reason alone is what makes this movie GOOD! The idea, that the usual kiss takes a movie romantic is pure bullshit. As a guy, hopeless romantic, and romanticist. I found every aspect of this movie entertaining. You don't need a kiss to show, that love is there. As a critic of love stories this one deserves a 4/5. The movie twists the norm of how people view love stories".
On another note, Valentine Day is just around the corner , are you guys ready to date the girl of your dream? ;) Will you be spending it with your partner, or will you be spending it alone? For me, I think it would be just me alone, or perhaps with some of my friends ;).I would be lying though if I don't feel the least bit of sadness spending it with friends/alone again this year. But after watching these movies, I have finally came to a realization that not everyone felt the same way towards love as I feel. I am a romanticist , a pure one too. Hence, I guess the girl of my life have to be of the same type of people I am to complement each other ;). I used to believe love can be nurtured, but I guess it was wrong, not in my case perhaps.Now, I wonder does romantic people still exist? I wonder.. will I still have a chance to be the romanticist i always wanted to be? I wonder and ponder ....
Now, all I can do is just keep on improving myself ,waiting for my own version of Shen Chia-yi to appear ;) . In the meantime, I will just keep on hope and pray that the two curses that I mentioned afore will be lifted off soon enough . I am trusting my mind and body for this one.Slowly,but surely, all of these dreadful stuff will be gone soon and only the good things will come if I continue to believe in myself.
To all the blessed couples out there, stay true to your partner and enjoy yourselves to the most this coming Valentine ;)
To all the singletons as myself xD , be happy you don't have to deal with relationship problems lol ,and rest assured, love will come to you soon if you just believe in it!!!
That's all for now , hopeless romanticist signing out~ ;)
1/11/2012
2011 reflection
2011 Reflection
No matter what people say about 2011, I am pretty damn sure mine is a tumultuous one . 2011 has been a year filled with unpredictable changes , accentuated by the perpetual bad strides that came my way and only a little ray of light that helped me hold on till the end.
And now that I have made it 2012, barely surviving , the bad weather is still not over , as I have yet to see the clouds and the so called silver lining beneath them. It has been a long, arduous year. Unfortunately, it has been equally long time since my last post in this blog.
Oh, well, not like anyone gives a damn care right? Anyhow, it sort of becomes a tradition to post a reflection of the year as It reaches its end and passes its baton to the coming new year. But this year, I have been quite late to do that particular reflection. But hey, always better to be late than never right? So here I go, This shall be a post of reflection of the yesteryear, the year that went by ( kinda reminds u of 那些年, no? haha) , and hope and aspirations of the new 2012 , as well as my resolutions for it.So,without further ado, let’s begin !
2011, the most eventful incident that ever happened to me in this particular year is my entrance to the prestigious premier university of Malaysia, University of Malaya ( UM ). Coming here made me realize I actually misses home, the comfort and convenience that I once take for granted so easily are lost all of a sudden, and that made me realize how precious they are.
Coming to UM also opens up a whoie new window of opportunity and enables to see the life through another perspective, and little do I realize the significance of the fact that I am now an undergraduate university student. It’s amazing how time passes.At one point, I remembered I just finishes my secondary school education and was wondering how would I spent the ample time that I had , and in a blink of an eye, wah la ~ , and I am actually 3 years away from graduation and working in the real world already.
Again, being in UM is really a eye-opening experience for me. Before coming here, I was thinking that KL life will be a very active one, filled with occasional late night hang out and endless sleepless nights of partying and etc. How lucky I am to realize I was wrong. It was a totally different environment and situation from how I envisioned it before. No late night partying, no excessive spending , and unbelievably, not so many KL people in UM . Hah, the oddity of it .Still, I enjoyed the time I spent in here very much as the people here are very friendly *in general* and the memories I had in my hostel was unimaginably fun and memorable :) .
Now, the only drawback is that the hostel that I live in isn’t exactly the best environment for me. But hey, that’s just me with the bad luck . Not everyone was born with acne –prone skin and disease-laden left eye right? And must I stress on how much pain and distress these two curses have brought me? I must. In fact I insist. If you were to browse through my previous posts, then you would know about my eye , but the first curse, the acne-prone skin was actually not much a problem until lately, where it came back from the past to haunt me.Oh well, problem, not gonna talk much about it .
Alright, apart from entering UM,the rest of the year seems pretty normal, I actually worked a lot , having around 4 jobs during the 6 month period of holiday.Though,in retrospect, I suspect that period of holiday could be put to a better use had I done something else.Nevertheless, the experience was rewarding.
Overall, for me 2011 is the year where friendships were made and reconnected , the flames of love were lit and reignited and doused *duh * over and over again , and where passions collided with the cruel,harsh fact of reality.
Now, on to 2012, a year of new hopes and aspirations , of hope and dreams , and hopefully, of reality of making dream come true :) . The start of the year wasn’t too shabby , I spent the countdown to the new year with a few of my crazy friends in Straits Quay , Penang , having a wild time . It could be better though, had it not be for my two
“curses”. Oh yeah, speaking of the devil , I really , really hope I would get rid of those two curses soon as I am really tired from dealing with the bad backlash due to the curses that are impairing my quality of life. That would be my first and most prioritized resolution I suppose.
Second resolution . I wish to get fitter, bigger in fact. I have been taunted again and again over how small I am despite the fact that I am actually not that small. In 2011, I gained the passion to bodybuild ,but sadly the harsh circumstances in the uni life prevented me from continue to developing that passion. Luckily , now in 2012 , the flames of passion were reignited once more, and this time I sure hope I would make it happen !!! Here’s a little pic that I believe truly gives a major motivational boost to those interested in bodybuilding *insert aesthetic development pic here*
3rd on my wish list,I wish to love and be loved. Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against singles , in fact single life can be damn great at times, but yet on some other time , I might just yearn for that particular someone to be there, to share with me my happiness and joy, my sadness and sorrow, and just to be there when I needed her most :) .Somehow, I think this idea is not that far fetched had I gotten rid of my curses . Speaking of love, there is a little something that I would like to mentioned. Lately , I have had a few talk with this one female friend of mine, and she seems to think that men and women should be mere friends. She was asking me why can’t men and women just be friends? While I do not deny the possibility, but I find it abit disheartening by the fact that she treats all the guys that chase her as mere brothers .o.O Case in point, when a guy chases you, obviously he don’t want to be treated as mere “bros” right, being treated so will only wound him more. Guys in general , I believe, view girls as love targets , and will obviously chase them because they believe girls can provide them with love and affection they lack as well as other feminine attributes that only girls can provide. Had they wanted companionship and brotherhood, they could just find their own guys clique. That’s what I personally think anyway. But oh well, everyone got their own view and opinion. A good food for thought anyway.
Next, to do well in my studies and be more active in other aspects of life such as social and extra-curicular aspect. I think this is generally achievable if my lackadaisical attitude did not kick in and my motivational level remains high. This is a pretty common goal I guess for most people. Yet, every year, this goal will always resurfaces. Hopefully, I would be able to maintain and if possible , score consistently in exams and graduate with first class honours. That’s the most important part.
Last but not least, to treat people more nicely and think more before I act. Recently, I came across an article talking about Life hacking and I became deeply intrigued in it. Life hacking is basically changing your life habits and attitude to be more productive in every aspect of life, thereby gaining more health, wealth and happiness in the process.So,the part where I mentioned about treating people more nicely and thinking more , yeah it’s all part of life hacking, I wanted to sleep earlier and be an early riser too, be less addicted to FB and focuses more on my passions. Life hacking to a better life yeahhh!!!!
I guess that pretty up sums up my 2011 reflection and 2012 resolutions. Nothing too interesting happens recently , but there are a few trivial stuffs that made my day though. Stuff like talking to a few friends whom I haven’t met for a long while, reconnecting with them and have crazy good time with them together. These are the stuff that really matters .At the end of your life, except your family and loved ones , the one that will be with you at difficult times are none other than your friends. So, a little advice out there to those who likes to go solo. Treasure your friends, they are the most precious people you will ever have if you found the right ones .
And a little something I thought of : “ Time might pass and memories may fade, but some friendship will never die . And to these wonderful souls that stayed with me, I give thanks, and will forever be grateful for that fact”.
11/28/2011
Revenge of the conjunctivitis.
People usually take things for granted,only when they lost those things do they start to yearn for them. I have always hold this quote as one of my absolute truths.But today it proves to be more significant than ever.
Here we go again, just when i thought conjunctivitis is finally gone from my life,it strikes back,and fate would have it that it would strike at the worse possible time, the last day of my holiday . Man... you sure know when to hit me huh , red eyes ? right at my lowest point.
If you have been following my blog * which is very rare , I assume that the only one that have been really following my blog is none other than yours truly lol*, you would have known that Conjunctivitis is my old nemesis, and have always been one of my worst enemy.And it wouldn't be wrong to say that conjunctivitis is the worst disease ever to befall me!!! Not only does it renders me useless and immobile * in the sense that the sudden loss of eyesight, the consistent recurring throbbing on my left eye , and the treatment being the need to rest my eye the whole day and just lie down and do nothing but sleep *
To an active person who always seek to do productive stuff like me , it definitely have to be the worst thing ever to just lie down and do nothing , with full realisation that time is ticking and I am wasting it.It is one of the most dreadful feeling ever, lying down on the cold,hard,bed in a dark, devoid of light room, ALONE!
I just realized that the feeling of being alone is thousand times worst than any other feeling in this world.But then again, in every dark clouds, there are bound to be some silver linings...
I am grateful to this disease too.. for due to it , that I have finally rediscovered the wonderful feeling of family bonds.. In times of despair and pain,only does on know who truly cares and who don't..Thank you mom, for being the beautiful soul you are..
Here we go again, just when i thought conjunctivitis is finally gone from my life,it strikes back,and fate would have it that it would strike at the worse possible time, the last day of my holiday . Man... you sure know when to hit me huh , red eyes ? right at my lowest point.
If you have been following my blog * which is very rare , I assume that the only one that have been really following my blog is none other than yours truly lol*, you would have known that Conjunctivitis is my old nemesis, and have always been one of my worst enemy.And it wouldn't be wrong to say that conjunctivitis is the worst disease ever to befall me!!! Not only does it renders me useless and immobile * in the sense that the sudden loss of eyesight, the consistent recurring throbbing on my left eye , and the treatment being the need to rest my eye the whole day and just lie down and do nothing but sleep *
To an active person who always seek to do productive stuff like me , it definitely have to be the worst thing ever to just lie down and do nothing , with full realisation that time is ticking and I am wasting it.It is one of the most dreadful feeling ever, lying down on the cold,hard,bed in a dark, devoid of light room, ALONE!
I just realized that the feeling of being alone is thousand times worst than any other feeling in this world.But then again, in every dark clouds, there are bound to be some silver linings...
I am grateful to this disease too.. for due to it , that I have finally rediscovered the wonderful feeling of family bonds.. In times of despair and pain,only does on know who truly cares and who don't..Thank you mom, for being the beautiful soul you are..
10/07/2011
Steve Jobs
Today (5/10/2011) the world mourns the passing of a great man. A legendary visionary, a genius who was brave enough to think differently , bold enough to embrace to take actions to do it , and talented enough to accomplish them. And his actions , has changed the world.
This man is none other than the co-founder of Apple Inc , the man behind the countless epic innovations of iPad, IPhone and other Apple products, Steven Paul Jobs , better known as Steve Jobs.
It's amazing how news flow and stereotype works. I had never been interested in this man's news or biography before his passing. Nor do I know him personally or worship him as my idol. All I knew was that he's a giant star in tech industry and that he rules over the phone and computer tablets market as the CEO of Apple.
But moments after his passing , more and more people became interested in his life stories, me included. It's ironic how people only want to know more about someone only after his/her passing , the same goes for the recent passing of Michael Jackson . Perhaps the way media publicises their death got something to do with it ? Anyhow, I am glad that I looked up into his stories.
It turned out to be one of the most inspirational stories I have ever read.His life is a chaotic mix of brilliance and tragedies. One of the quotes regarding working experience with him summed it best " The highs were unbelieveable , but the lows were unimaginable ". As I slowly indulge more into his life stories , I eventually became more and more captivated by it. How he dropped out from university, how he got fired from the company he created , and how he stood up again , overcoming all those shortcomings ,making one of the best comebacks in the tech industry ever ,back to the helm at Apple and eventually leading it to be one of the biggest company in the world.
As with other talented geniuses, beneath every success stories , every single one of them seems to have some personal problem that haunts them. * MJ with his alleged child abuse * , it was reported that Steve seems to have an egomaniac attitude and was a control freak. It was also purported that he had a strained relationship with his colleagues , families and friends. But then again, it was just a claim . What he does at home, how he treats his subordinates and families, only people concerned would know.Simply subscribing to the articles written by the mainstream media is a suicidal act. Yet, I couldn't stop myself from digesting all materials / articles related to Steve. The inquisitive side of me had got better of me and I just kept on digesting every piece of news and articles I came across in the net.
It was all very mesmerizing. I love reading biographies ,especially those of big,talented people. And this one is particularly appealing.It was amazing how these people can find the strength to overcome those shortcomings and make it back up, to the top of leader of success. Just reading their stories inspires me.
In the end, the conclusion is.. no matter what was written about Steve, one truth remains is that his actions has changed the world , altered the way we look at technologies. His vision of combining aesthetic taste of art and technological advances has succeeded. As he puts it in his own words "It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating." , the way he feel about arts.He did what many failed , went into uncharted water , challenged Microsoft , IBM ,Google, and other industry giants head on and won , revolutionising portable computers, tablets, mp3 players and other technological gadgets with the innovation of iPhone, iMac, iPad and iPod.
It's just amazing how one man, single-handedly accomplished so much... And as I went on with my little " research " , I found one of the most inspiring video of all times , depicting his commencement speech in Stanford University. I strongly encourage that you spare some time to watch it , please , ladies and gentlemen , if you do have some free time, I implore you , no i insist , that you watch this video. If you are in need of a motivation or inspiration , then you need to watch this even more.
There are a few quotes there that truly hit me, and resonates with me -
“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”
"Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life."
"Stay hungry , Stay foolish "
Now, as I digest the meanings behind those words , I look back and reflect upon my past. Indeed.. I have been looking backwards,living in someone else's for far too long... I suppose there is no point chasing after a falling star. Perhaps it was never meant for me. Yet , I always had this compelling desire to repeat my foolish mistakes.
Now, looking at his stories and reading this quote, one question presents itself to me from the depths of my heart . " Do you wanna keep on standing still or move on to change the world ? " That has made all the difference, I hope.. The answer should be clear by now :)
Thank you Steve Jobs , for touching the lives of so many people , me included. Although it's a little late, I am glad that I get to read your stories and watch your inspiring speech delivery. My deepest condolences to your family and friends.. R.I.P Steve Jobs.
This man is none other than the co-founder of Apple Inc , the man behind the countless epic innovations of iPad, IPhone and other Apple products, Steven Paul Jobs , better known as Steve Jobs.
It's amazing how news flow and stereotype works. I had never been interested in this man's news or biography before his passing. Nor do I know him personally or worship him as my idol. All I knew was that he's a giant star in tech industry and that he rules over the phone and computer tablets market as the CEO of Apple.
But moments after his passing , more and more people became interested in his life stories, me included. It's ironic how people only want to know more about someone only after his/her passing , the same goes for the recent passing of Michael Jackson . Perhaps the way media publicises their death got something to do with it ? Anyhow, I am glad that I looked up into his stories.
It turned out to be one of the most inspirational stories I have ever read.His life is a chaotic mix of brilliance and tragedies. One of the quotes regarding working experience with him summed it best " The highs were unbelieveable , but the lows were unimaginable ". As I slowly indulge more into his life stories , I eventually became more and more captivated by it. How he dropped out from university, how he got fired from the company he created , and how he stood up again , overcoming all those shortcomings ,making one of the best comebacks in the tech industry ever ,back to the helm at Apple and eventually leading it to be one of the biggest company in the world.
As with other talented geniuses, beneath every success stories , every single one of them seems to have some personal problem that haunts them. * MJ with his alleged child abuse * , it was reported that Steve seems to have an egomaniac attitude and was a control freak. It was also purported that he had a strained relationship with his colleagues , families and friends. But then again, it was just a claim . What he does at home, how he treats his subordinates and families, only people concerned would know.Simply subscribing to the articles written by the mainstream media is a suicidal act. Yet, I couldn't stop myself from digesting all materials / articles related to Steve. The inquisitive side of me had got better of me and I just kept on digesting every piece of news and articles I came across in the net.
It was all very mesmerizing. I love reading biographies ,especially those of big,talented people. And this one is particularly appealing.It was amazing how these people can find the strength to overcome those shortcomings and make it back up, to the top of leader of success. Just reading their stories inspires me.
In the end, the conclusion is.. no matter what was written about Steve, one truth remains is that his actions has changed the world , altered the way we look at technologies. His vision of combining aesthetic taste of art and technological advances has succeeded. As he puts it in his own words "It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating." , the way he feel about arts.He did what many failed , went into uncharted water , challenged Microsoft , IBM ,Google, and other industry giants head on and won , revolutionising portable computers, tablets, mp3 players and other technological gadgets with the innovation of iPhone, iMac, iPad and iPod.
It's just amazing how one man, single-handedly accomplished so much... And as I went on with my little " research " , I found one of the most inspiring video of all times , depicting his commencement speech in Stanford University. I strongly encourage that you spare some time to watch it , please , ladies and gentlemen , if you do have some free time, I implore you , no i insist , that you watch this video. If you are in need of a motivation or inspiration , then you need to watch this even more.
There are a few quotes there that truly hit me, and resonates with me -
“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”
"Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life."
"Stay hungry , Stay foolish "
Now, as I digest the meanings behind those words , I look back and reflect upon my past. Indeed.. I have been looking backwards,living in someone else's for far too long... I suppose there is no point chasing after a falling star. Perhaps it was never meant for me. Yet , I always had this compelling desire to repeat my foolish mistakes.
Now, looking at his stories and reading this quote, one question presents itself to me from the depths of my heart . " Do you wanna keep on standing still or move on to change the world ? " That has made all the difference, I hope.. The answer should be clear by now :)
Thank you Steve Jobs , for touching the lives of so many people , me included. Although it's a little late, I am glad that I get to read your stories and watch your inspiring speech delivery. My deepest condolences to your family and friends.. R.I.P Steve Jobs.
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