Level 5000 Monster Master Module

The freshness of the morning breeze , the gentle light of the sun , it's a new morning , a new beginning once again . I had a nice surprise when I found out that Chinese Fried Rice + Hash brown are being served from the Asian Corner of the Dining Hall this morning , a usual deviation from the normal noodles + veges set . A few hours later , after attending an awesome philosophy lecture and having a fantastic meal of Katsu Curry Chicken Rice  + Honey Lemon Tea for lunch , it seems like the most wonderful day of my life . Everything is perfect. 

Heaven in disguise . 

However , things weren't like that for the past few days . In retrospect , the past few days have been an emotional roller coaster trip to hell back and forth for quite some time . " Dude, you are abusing the term emotional roller coaster ! You're using it way too muchh, SF ! " , you whined . Yes , I admit that , but I just can't help it . My life is really full of those roller coaster trips . Nothing just seems to stay still . Anyway , back to the story . Past few days have seen me burning midnight oils ( the Singaporeans call it mugging here ) , studying things way past my normal level of comprehension , struggling to understand things that are very complicated and abstract .





Why , you might ask ? It wasn't the noble reason of wanting to learn more , attaining knowledge and etc . Neither was it because I am competitive and adapting to the 'kiasu' ( not willing to lose to others ) spirit much practiced in Singapore . And obviously it wasn't for the purpose of killing time ( studying would only be high in my priority list if I am having insomnia and trying to find a way to sleep ) . SO WHY in hell am I doing it ? The reason is simple . For the sole purpose of solving one damn assignment .

And it's no normal assignment I assure you , for even after nights of mugging and consulting Dr Google , I STILL HAVE NO IDEA about how to even start doing it at all ! And desperate times calls for desperate needs . This is when networking ( people networking ) comes in handy . I had to reach out with some masters students in my faculty here to ask for help . But it was awkward. Super awkward . Imagine going to someone you never talked to before and weren't close to at all and say " Help please ? " . Of course , the actual situation wasn't as dramatic as this but well , close enough I guess.

And that's when I realized it . After looking at the assignment question , he started scratching his head and with a puzzled look , inquired me " Hmm.. aren't you an undergrad  ? " , to which I said yes . After that it hit me . He told me that this module I am taking , CS5321 to be precise , is a module that are meant for masters or phd students . I was stunned , stoned even . Apparently , the first number on the left ( 5 in this case ) indicates the level of difficulty of the module , and this is a level 5000 module , which are taken only by masters and phd students . Subsequently , I inquired further and consulted with other local students , and all of them said the same thing  : Level 5000 modules have like 90% failing rates , even for masters and phd students . Their responses upon learning that I am taking it ? " Extremely Insane " , " Crazy la you " , " Suicide case " , " CONFIRM FAIL WAN LA " and of course , the ever so popular " LOL " . Yes folks , it's crazy , a level 5000 mod , with an extremely high failing rate , difficult even for masters and phd students , and  I , me , a mere undergrad is challenging it and hoping to get at least B ( for the sake of maintaining the scholarship ) . Nuts.

I was offered a few advice from various people. But most of them fall in between these two categories , I could either " Challenge the status quo and be the genius who scores " or " Drop the module and get another one " . I chose the latter . In a way , I am running away from this and I am not afraid of admitting it . I know that if I chose to stay and challenge it . I might actually be one of those rare genius and succeed , subsequently being much more wiser and stronger after this episode . But I know myself well enough to know that I would be put under tremendous stress and pressure , with only a slight chance of succeeding . I hated that . I have never been the studious type and I believe that there's a limit in pushing yourself to be what you are not . I trust that should I continue to challenge it , inevitably I would fail and end up falling deeper into the pit of darkness and embarrassment . Thus , I ran . And it turned out to be one of the best decisions I ever made.

***
The first thing I did immediately was to check for a new module to enroll in , because there's a minimum of 3 modules that I need to take , and if I were to drop the module , I would only have 2 modules left. And it wasn't an easy decision . Since this is already week 6 , enrolling in a new module now would mean that I have already skipped 5 weeks of lecture and need to catch up . But I thought , what the heck , it's much better than having a guaranteed fail right ? I remember there was this module called Introduction to Philosophy that caught my attention last time , recommended by a friend.

So , I chose that module. Nevertheless , it wasn't so easy once more . It's not like if I wanted this module , I could easily add it , no . Seeing that it's already week 6 , I need to find the lecturer in charge , have him/her endorse my enrollment and pass it to the departments concerned.  Now , at this point of time , I was frankly , quite desperate , nervous , and scared altogether . The fear of failing and having to pay back the scholarship was slowly swallowing me up whole . So , I did the craziest thing ever.

Now , usually when it comes to formal application like this , the standard textbook procedure calls for a proper appointment with the lecturers concerned through email , and then consultation with department heads , then only handing in of the applications to the Registrar's Office . However , as I mentioned , I was quite desperate , so I skipped all the proper procedures and just went straight to the lecturer's office after looking up his office address . 

It was so exhilarating ! Bloods are rushing to my head , my heart skipping a beat or two , and adrenaline are no doubt , pumping . As I knocked on the door of the lecturer's office , knowing nothing about him at all , thousand thoughts raced through my mind . What if he thinks I am rude ? What if he rejects me ? What ifs .. There are so many what ifs . The only emotions that I had at that point of time were trepidation and anxiety of not knowing what to expect .

Suddenly , a light baritone voice replied " Yes ? Who's there ? " . I replied with a slight quiver in my voice " Prof.. Prof Michael Pelczar ? Can I come in ? " . " Yes " comes the stern and confident reply . And there he was , an unassuming and confident looking figure , a middle-aged man sitting comfortably on his chair staring at me with a piercing glance . I was still very nervous and with whatever courage I could muster , blurted out my predicament in a stuttered manner , with a lot of urms and ehh in between the pauses . It was miracle he managed to understand me .

One of the coolest , steadiest lecturer in NUS ! 

After the entire awkward situation , he let out a hearty laugh and told me that it's okay , he will endorse my application and do something about the past lectures that I missed . It was so amazingly surreal . Normally , you would expect a lecturer , a PHD Doctorate holder , a person at that stature to be more .. how should I put it , formality conscious ? more suspicious or even doubtful and not endorse something so easily . But he , he just laughs it off and say something that goes along this line " Sounds like you are having quite a lot of trouble there . This is a bit of an awkward situation but alright , I will endorse this application first and we will see what we can do with the past few lessons that you missed " . If angels do exist , he must be one of them in disguise . 

At that point , I kept on repeating in my mind these words " Thank Lord for Good people ! " . And with that , I am officially enrolled in his lecture of Intro of Philosophy , which is an amazingly thought-provoking course in its own right , coupled with this exuberant and charismatic lecturer , there was no doubt in my mind that I made the correct choice ! 

The heaviness and stress of studying something that you are not that passionate on , complicated beyond your level being replaced by inquisitiveness and eagerness to learn something new that you are interested is. That experience is priceless . Also ,this whole episode has just strongly reinforced my belief that if you truly wants something very badly , somehow , someway , the universe will conspire to help you achieve it , GRANTED that you actually go out and reach for it of course ! :D . Nevertheless , it was still just a new beginning and there are bounds to be more obstacles and challenges ( as well as more emotional roller coasters I guess ) that will be present in the near future as well . But for now , I am just glad and grateful I survived this episode . Hopefully , it can only get better from now on . Wish me luck , peeps !