Life as it is :)

" No one's gonna know how much you studied. No one's gonna know how much you played. But everyone's gonna know the results you produce.Striving is lonely but it leads to glory.If you are willing to waste nearly 2 years here, why not make your time worth it ? ;) "
-quote from past STPM top scorer.some clhs dude.forget name d ps . xD

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Inspirations can come in many shapes and forms.. and they may also come at the most unexpected time. Like this one here, i got the urge to blog at 3am in the morning. I know i know.. what an unearthly time to be blogging right ? Random much ? But hey, at least I got the inspiration to blog right ? That's all that matters :D.

Either way, as indicated by the motivational quotes stated on the very beginning of this blog post,one can guess that this will turn out to be a happy / optimistic post d. so... yeah * for those who kept call me emo king * u know who u are * SEE, TIS POST IS NT EMO! :P *

So.. yeah let's get started !! :))) Alright, wassup ? stpm is barely 1 month away. So far so good. Everything's sailing smoothly now, and I hope it will continue to be so until the end of it.How are you guys doing ?

Hmm.. on another separate note, yesterday i was talking to some friends and we chatted about few of our friends who are.. urm rather "unique" in their own ways, and it got me thinking about friends and their personalities.

In actual fact, everyone got their own set of problems. Attitude problems , personalities and traits that others dislike.. they are present in everyone, yes even me. I acknowledge that. I don't deny that sometimes people might dislike me for some of the things I did.But the thing is, as friends , we tolerate and accept each other for what we are . It is these small little things , small imperfections that make us perfect.That's what friends are :) And if you know that you have attitude problems or some "unique" feature that might annoy or make others dislike you, CHANGE IT,or at the very least, make effort to reduce it or don't show it in front of others.

But unfortunately, there are some people who are not even aware that they have problems and keep on annoying / disturbing others. It's just saddening to see that. But oh well, what are we to do ? At this stage , we will just have to turn a blind eye and compromise . May these "unusual unique " people come to a realisation and change for a better at some point.Otherwise, things might get ugly.

Anyway, getting back to the optimistic side , thinking along this line, I can't help but to notice that there are so many different side to a guy / gal. By sides, I mean like the many different faces / parts of people. For example, I have come to realise that I got a lot of sides.E.g the music loving me , the crazy manga otaku side , the angry beaver side , the rational , composed and logical side.. It's crazy just thinking that there are so many faces to someone.

And of course,with this,there are some negative sides too. E.g , the deprived for attention side, playful side, lazy bum side, girl loving side,evil side *smirk* and etc. Thinking back , there was once a period where I was desperate for relationship. Yeah i know, pathetic right? That was when raging hormones took over and coupled with some fuels from the surrounding, I was almost unstoppable * in a bad way lol * . But that was the past, I am very happy to say that I have gotten over that phase and am happily being single now :D

As guys , we are faced with many dilemmas, being the gender which are more hormonally charged and think with their fist instead of brains, we tend to do a lot of stupid stuffs.That's when our other sides come in , taking actions first before thinking. And it would probably gotten us into a lot of troubles,especially when it comes to love and relationship.But whatever we did, we did it for you ladies ya know? So, a word of advice to those ladies out there, be nice to guys who are nice to you k ? you may never know who harbours feelings for you xD.

ANYWAY, the point here is that since there are so many sides to us humans, all we have to do is to come into agreement with all the sides, compromise and try to subdue the bad sides. Acknowledge that you have bad sides and accept them for they are part of us :) .That's how one can be happy I guess. :)))

Alright, that's all for now I guess.. Woah.. it seems that I ranted quite a lot.., to the point that it almost sounded like a preaching lol. Oh well, but these are things that I guess everyone ought to know. Sharing is caring. Hence, I like sharing ! XD And oh yeah, for those of you who enjoy meaningful/relaxing/peaceful song . DO LISTEN to this song by JJ LIN -妈妈的娜鲁娃 . I attached the video here for your convenience xD. DO listen yeah!! oh and btw, for those taking major exams this year.. BEST OF LUCK , stay strong and BE HAPPY! :DDDD. Friends, let's have lots of fun after exam xD.

50 days!

Alright... as I am typing right now , I am guessing there's just about approximately 50 more days .. or less.. * erhh wait,let's be optimistic and give it the benefit of doubt shall we? :D " i mean or MORE days left till the dreaded STPM .

So , yeah, one might wonder, how am i coping with it ? :D truth to be said , i am not ready yet... not now but everything seems to be moving according to the flow now and I am rather happy at the way things are moving now. ;)

Ok, moving on , the next thing's on my mind apart from the compulsary desire to get good results is post stpm days. ! It's gonna be so fun!!

Strange enough, whenever an exam is around the corner, rather than thinking about the actual exam itself, I will be thinking about what to do after the exam. Anyone else thinking like me? Or am i the only weird one ? aha It doesn't matter anyway ,because thinking about the boundless happiness and joy that awaits after stpm simply puts a smile on my face :).

Really, I always get super excited thinking about the endless possibilities that awaits me. It's definitely gonna be much more productive and joyful than my post-spm days for sure.Nowadays I feel capable of spending time more productively than last time. Perhaps I did grow up afterall? For the first time in my life , I finally realised I got control over my own life rather than just slipping it away and leave it to the hands of fate.

One of the my top to-do-list after stpm is to create happy memories with friends I had known over past few years :) . I know it sounded childish but hey, these are people that we had spent time with together in the same class/ same school , people who struggled together , facing the same examination , people who endured the same troubles and problems as u for over a year and a half.

So,really , I really wish that we would be able to create a happy memory that would be enshrined in everyone's heart for years to come . :) No matter what hatred and anger you felt to others , just let it go and smile ! :D * i know this is such a irony with the previous post lol but hey i blog according to mood and right now , my mood is "sunshine" ! :P*

Ahhhh that being said, I wonder how many would actually felt the same ? hmm .. we will just have to wait and see.Can't wait for it !!

But for now... we will just have to struggle for 2 months or so and everything will come to an end.. For our goals to materialise and our dreams to come true, we shall not falter in our conquest of the books and our hearts shall not waver in these periods. So, fellow friends, let's just endure this ridiculous stress and strain * pun intended ;P for physic students * for just a few more months and we will be free from it !!

See u on top at the peak :). Until then, tata and GOOD LUCK!!! :D


* btw , the motivation from wanting to create happy memories comes from this pic*
I really like this picture for some reason. From what I can see, it symbolises happiness that transpires as a result of friendship. Like it ! Hopefully we can take pics like tis :)

Humans ~

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I thought , I had already left that world , I thought that I had finally managed to severe the any ties and bonds, both emotionally and physically between me and that world completely already. I thought that I had long abandoned that world.. that abyss filled with hopelessness,emoness, and other negative emotions . A void filled with nothing but emptiness.That, is that kind of world I once lived in. And a couple of months ago , I thought I had completely detached myself from it.

Or so I thought .. Apparently, i am wrong, and today, I am being dragged into that world again..

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Maybe I should have just stayed in my own comfort zone after all ? Maybe I really shouldn't have ventured outside that small little pond of mine and exposing myself to all the harsh reality and cruelty of the world? Maybe I should just stayed the same little pessimistic guy who keeps everything to himself , isolating himself from the rest of the world and just keeping his heart to himself ?

I dunno.. I really don't know now. Just a while back then, , I thought I had founded hope. In that dark , endless tunnel , lies a glisten of hope ,shimmering admists the surrounding darkness that tries to devour it . I tried to be optimistic , and I did succeed in it for awhile.. , having so much wishes and hopes for the coming future .. the things I wanna do after exam , the people I am gonna meet after exam ... everything seems to make sense at that point , it is just gonna turn out fine after exam.

But then , *bang* a loud noise is heard , and the light is gone . In the battle between darkness and light , darkness has prevailed . The ample darkness proved to be too much of an opponent for the fragile, small light .All of the sudden, the optimism disappeared , the voice of the optimistic drowned by the boos of sorrow , and the light ? what light ? Darkness has already engulfed the entire area and devoured any last remaining speckle of light. And the pessimistic took over ...

Why is life unfair? The optimistic in me would say that's because you did not look at it from the other point of view. Life is always fair.Everyone is imperfect , and everyone have talents of their own to substitute for that imperfection. It's just that it might take a lot of time for some people to discover their talents . The pessimistic would say that's cause life IS INDEED UNFAIR.u would just have to accept that some people looks better , more talented , and born with a silver spoon in their mouth. It's just luck.

Frankly , the logical and rational side of me would support that statement . Luck indeed plays a pivotal role in the world .I couldn't and wouldn't deny that . But how about the people who thinks they can change the world? grapping the destiny wheel in their hand and steering it towards their desired path ? That , i think would requires faith. I used to believe in it. The faith that eventually something good would happen and the light shall surfaces once more. but sometimes,it's just too hard to keep the faith.

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I failed to understand how some humans can be so selfish ? To the extent of sacrificing others for their own benefits ? Or perhaps it is just me being too generous? Sometimes , too much of a good thing * in this case generosity * can be harmful. I need to learn how to say no .Some people might view such actions as taking advantages but no , for me I merely think that people who are doing it are either doing it unconsciously or are just plain insensitive about people's need. Today's incident is only the tip of the iceberg. Although it's nothing big, but it made me realise that if things were to be repeated on a larger scale, things could get ugly.

Next, a discussion with some people again made me realise how ugly and despicable some human natures coule be.First, I would like to point out that yes, I do respect and believes that everyone is entitled to their own opinions and comments . But hey, let's keep that to yourself k ? No one wants your opinions and comments so much that you need to shout and emphasise them over and over again alright ? especially negative comments , PLEASE DO KEEP THEM TO YOURSELVES . Let's be honest here, humans are selfish creatures.

We like to hear more good things about ourselves rather than bad things.So,pls people, if you have any negative comments , do keep it to yourself or put it in a less harmful way as a constructive criticism or something of similar vibe so that the people that is going to receive the comment felt less perturbed and insulted by it . U don't have to shove it up their faces and continue shooting . That is just plain rude and ridiculous , much more so especially when the one offering the comments is even worst than the one being commented .

I experienced this firsthand again today, albeit this is on a smaller scale. u see i have this "fren" of mine that is really vocal when it comes to giving comments and subsequently when asked to comment about one thing, she started shooting directly and continuously towards that particular thing.It's fine when one offers constructive criticism , but to shove it up one's face directly in front of the guy is just plain rude. Seriously , what the hell is wrong wif tis kind of people? U got some bad comments ? Keep it to your pathetic self !!

Enough is enough , I can't lie to myself anymore. I really do despise such people with attitude problem, much more so when he/she is having that " i am the best , everyone will die if i don't exist" attitude. Gosh, oh please look at the mirror and examine yourself before saying that . Learn to be sensitive please. Are you blind ?

Not to brag but I think I am much much better than you in terms of emotional maturity , physical strength , sensitivity to others and so much more I don't see why u have to stamp other people down , thinking that they are incapable of doing anything at all. And i did much more things than u could ever thought of in terms of being a gentleman and sacrificing for others. What do YOU know about it ? you know nuts. Oh, and the thought that you are likeable by all ? Save it for your dream please because the truth is, many people dislikes you. So, pls go find a deep hole and bury yourself in and dont ever come back and see the light again, coz you are that worthless in this world.

Gah, i am starting to hate everyone now . What is wrong with you all ? can't you people see the sensitive ,emotional part of others? Why am i the only one that seems to be aware of them? Heck, why do I even care ? Why am i caring so much for others ? The rest don't seem to give a damn at all ? SO why should I ?

Maybe this is a curse afterall, maybe I should learn to harden my heart and just turn a blind eye when I see someone is sad or gloomy.That way, I would be way happier I guess? Sacrificing myself for others just don't cut in.

What's the point really ? When I suffered all the agonizing pains and torturous wounds in my heart, and can just cry silently while others don't even appreciate what I did? It is retarded really, and they are not even my most beloved people. Thinking back , I even wondered why the heck did i do so much for just friends?

ahh the agony and dilemma of people. ~.~ hypocrisy ,egoism , and selfishness. There's so much that I learned today.There's so much that I wanted to express and say to some people, but unfortunately I can't coz there's no real way to tell someone " hey , i hate u " without hurting him/her right? I don't want to hurt anyone. I just want everyone to be happy. How hard is it for anyone to understand that ? Apparently, it IS hard coz no one seems to be able to share my wish =.-.

But it doesn't matter anyway... mutual agreement can never be reached . Only with compromise will peace be achieved. So, I will compromise.. Next time I go out , guess i will be more lenient to myself and care more about my own feelings and care less about others. Perhaps that will work ? yes? Probably! :) .

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The End.

If u did manage to read until here, congratulations ! I must congratulate you for ur painstalking effort of reading through that bunch of emo-istic rants and incoherent musings . It must have been hard. I mean, I myself couldn't even bare reading through it now. It is totally unsystematic and unneat at all. But hey,that's how rants should be right? :)

So , anyway , I just wanna say that the above post is written during one of my most turbulent mood swing.Therefore, metaphors and personification used above might be exaggerated and harsher than usual .Thus, do not simply assume or try to guess my personality from the passage above. If u think u know me though , think again, u dont :).

Oh and btw , one part of the musings above are only meant to be directed towards a certain someone who i don't think will ever touch this blog. So, unless you are a pathetic , fat female with a ego bigger than your head, worry not , the angers above are not directed towards u . But if you are , then , " Screw YOU " . Period . :)