Dreamer,once more.

Listening to : Gao Su Wo[告訴我] by Danson Tang Yu Zhe

" Chasing after endless dreams, only to find that it is impossible to achieve "

Ah..it has been a while since I last blogged here.Well,yeah , because there hasn't been anything interesting happening in my life lately ( or anytime soon),so that explains the lack of updates...As usual, nothing memorable,interesting, nice things happening.Why? This week is holiday right? And it is one week one too.So,why am I remain stuck at home for this few days ( and the days to come ) as if I am in prison?The reason is simple.... because the FREAKING SPM is approaching,FAST!I can almost see the ghostly image of the SPM examiner holding a death scythe coming to my table and say "Your biggest,most terrifying,hardest examination in your whole life starts NOW.",smiling cunningly in the process.

Alright,maybe I was exaggerating ,geez must be due to the influence of those comics and animes.Nawh,SPM is nothing, it is just some test that you will pass en route to college,university,whatever ,right?We should just face this with calm,laid-back attitude... just waiting for the time to come and pass, right ?

NOOOOOOOOOOOO.Crap you.No way am I facing this one with a laid-back and carefree attidude.I am gonna die if I do that.This is it... the moment I pumped in all my vigor and enthusiam.The moment I have to give in everything I have.... just to survive it.Sigh,looks like I will be in this prison, being a living zombie for the next few months .

Oh yeah,by the way, I changed the lay out because the images in the old layout had "expired".So,being a lazy guy I am, I decided to not reupload those images and just change the whole lay out again.Ironic huh ?

Alright,back to my thoughts.Yes,as the title of the post suggests, I am a dreamer,once more.Yeah,sure,dreamers are people that only dreams and never succeed in life.However,without dreams,can one even succeed in doing something?Every action behind it must be supported by some sort of reasons or dreams.It is because of this dreams that they,the rich and successful people envisioned when they were smaller, do they achived their current successes.For years, I had held the belief that this statement is true,that anyone with determination and efforts can make their dreams come true.But now,it seems that this belief of mine is gonna take a twist on the road.

I have many dreams.From amazing and realistic dreams to outrageously ridiculous and illogical dreams,I believe almost everyone around my age would have a lot of dreams too.I,for one had always been a big dreamer.Dreaming to be a actor,singer,graphic designer,movie director,software engineer and heck, even a superstar( I know,silly right?),I was never the type that gets satisfied with normal life.But how many of those dreams would actually come true when we grow up?Ask any successful adults now and I am pretty sure most of them will tell you " Actually,when I was young, I don't plan to involve myself in this kind of job, and I would probably never imagine myself working this job then"Yeah,this is the cruel reality,when we grow up, how many of our childhood dreams will still remain intact with us? Facing the materialistic and harsh world, would we still be able to stand firm and hold our dreams tightly?Even if we does believe in it, will our dreams really become true?

Yes,this is the dilemma I am currently facing now,to keep on believeing in some dreams that aref fading away now, or to let go of them ?I was a dreamer who believed every dreams could be realised with proper determination and efforts by oneself.However,as I continue growing up,the belief I had was slowly fading.Until finally it came to a halt.Enough,I can't deny the truth anymore.The truth is, not every dreams can become true.Dreams,require the proper skills,correct people,pure luck and right timing to realise.Dreams don't just happen because we want it.That would be a miracle,not a dream anymore.As I came to realise that harsh truth,it shattered myself.Knowing that some of the dreams I have been keeping for years are nothing but mere unachiveable illusions, tears almost came rolling down my cheeks.

Isn't it depressing?Knowing that there is something that you have so much passion and interest in ,but unable to indulge in that field and achieve success in it ?That is my current emotion now.For the past few days, I have been riding an emotional roller coaster due to this dilemma.But,enough is enough.It is time to put a stop on this topic.Dreams are meant to be pursued.As a man, I can't forsake those dreams that I am willing to sacrifice anything for.Yes,they are worth it.I might not possess the proper talents for it,I might not be lucky...and I might never be the person for it,but forget that,I shall never give up pursuing those dreams...Yes,call me silly, naieve , or even immature.But with efforts and determination, I shall compensate for my lack of talent... and ultimately reaching my dreams.So shall it be,I will be a dreamer once more.