Anxiety.

In a nick of time, there's only 3 more days left before I leave to KL , the metropolitan , urban city of the country ,where most elites and the upper echelon of societies gather .Knowing that I will soon be a part of them excites me , sending a chill down my spine . Yet another side of me trembles in anticipation , tinged with a bit of fear , not knowing what to expect there.

In just 3 more days, I will be leaving my comfort zone, trading everything I am familiar with something new .Though, as the proverbial quote goes , change is the only constant . So , I shouldn't fear it , instead I should be ready to embrace and accept it . A lot of my friends told me I would do just fine , telling me stories about how KL is a nice place , with the exception of its soaring living cost , everything's fine. Somewhere deep within my heart , I know I will do fine too.It's just that I cannot shake off the feeling of anticipating something new. Oh well , I guess I will get over it soon.

Afterall, it's a feeling everyone who's leaving their home sweet home for the first time must feel.I am pretty sure most of my friends leaving their home must have felt the same way I did.Now,with just a few days left, all of those emotions and memories of yesteryear are kicking in .Oh, how I wished I could have done more with you people , how I should have do this instead of that , and endless list of how I wished ...Nevertheless, I do not regret my past actions ,for regret will only brings sadness and gloom .

I would have preferred to count my blessings on all those little things that has happened to me , on life's little mercies that I have . Now, all that's left to do is just to pray and hope for the best :) . So , here I am now, hoping for the best for myself and all my friends. May you guys and girls too be blessed with abundance happiness ,joy and love , not to mention having a lot of fun there in your respective universities !!! I look forward till the next time we meet , having our usual "roundtable discussion " . I bet that time, definitely we would have a LOT to talk about !!! :D . So until next time.. cya :D

Anticipation

I love my local gym. Really I do . Even though it's a bit run down and dilapidated compared to other big , "professional " gym , I still love it ,considering that the price they charge is also very low compared to the rest. Price factor aside, I thing there's a certain kind of nostalgic feeling, when you kept going to the same gym for a year or so ? With the same people that kept coming back.

I think any place would also be special , after one has spent a considerable amount of time in it , right? That must be why the other bodybuilders kept coming back even though they could obviously afford a pricier and more modern gym . *heck one of them freaking drives a mercedes ! *

Anyway, the focus of today's post isn't about gym , but rather it's about the people inside. Having gone to the same gym for quite some time, it's safe to say that most, if not all bodybuilders are nice people ! Not to stereotype or bias but that's really what I can see from my observation. Why is that so ?

Except some ruffians and troublemakers who came just once or twice then quit , the rest of them are generally nice and friendly.In fact they are always willing to help, even though they don't talk much.Probably because they have all experienced the hardship of going through the transformation from small to big before? Either way , here's a typical scenario in the local gym near my area.

A young man, presumably in his mid twenties or so , clad in a tight fitting T-shirt bearing the "MuscleTech" logo , sporting a taekwando sport track , is doing his workout. Starting with his 50kg deadlift, he moves on to the abs exercise , doing them for around 30 minutes , then continuing with his biceps and triceps training . * if you never bodybuild before , you probably won't understand tis , but nevermind , I doubt anybody reads this anyway haha *At another corner, another young man , a rather talkative one , at the mere age of 19 , is doing 3x10 ,15kg bench press before moving on to his pull up and chin up. At the side, the caretaker of the gym, Mr Ong, despite his old age , displays monstrous physical strength by a startling 70 kg deadlift.

You see, when one is surrounded by such people doing such intense workout one after another, how could you not be motivated and inspired? I am extremely grateful and blessed to be able to participate in this wonderful sport surrounded by such great people. It's an honour really.

Now, what I wanna stress is how friendly and hospitable these people are. It's great to have such friends. As of now , there's roughly 25 more days or so till I begin my final phase of schooling , the uni life.

I am rather anxious and nervous thinking about what kind of friends I will make there as well as heaps of activities available there? Will it be the dull and lifeless kind or will it be my ideal active , productive and fun friends that will do crazy stuff with me? I am hoping for the latter. It is the final chance for me to enjoy schooling and I would love to make some good memories and friendship that will last a lifetime.

So,please ,to the higher being and authority that capable of deciding this, I beg of you , I pray , that may you fill my final chapter of schooling with colorful and wonderful memories , and paint it with happiness and joy that I have been craving for so much . May my friends too share similar blessing and enjoy their uni life ;). We may be treated unfairly by life , but I believe every true friends we made, help completes us, and subsequently rectify or rather complement our imperfection . There's no better joy then friendship and love afterall ! :D

So,here's hoping for the best future everyone can have ! Cheers !

Fitness

I could no longer bear to resist the temptation. I could no longer hide my feelings deep inside me. These emotions has been inside me for far too long...Enough is enough . It's finally time for the truth , the revelation ! Let it begin.

I hereby declare my unequivocal , irrevocable ,endearing love towards... BODY BUILDING! XD. Body building , gymming , pumping iron , whatever you call it , no one can deny that it's a tough sport that requires a lot of determination , tenacity and discipline to participate in. More so , when it's a sport where you will never actually see the end of it. In fact,many people would often go further to imply that it's no mere sport , it's a lifestyle !

To which I totally agree. It has been an amazing adventure so far.. Bodybuilding has taken me far and did wondrous things to me . In fact, I kinda regret starting it at a rather late age. Whether for staying fit and healthy , to grow bigger and develop muscles , or just because you are simply obsessed with it, everyone that goes to the gym have their own reason to do it.For me, it was because I got nothing better to do and just happen to stumble over the local gym near my area. Oh boy am I grateful for it.

I can still vividly recall the first day I went to the gym. It was with my another friend who at that point, already had the motivation to keep him going. Frankly , I was terrified and shocked.Upon entering it, I was flabbergasted to see the intensity and discipline those body builders are adopting in training their body. It was almost like it's a " do or die" thing for them. And looking at my own body at the mirror, I felt like digging a big hole and burying myself in it. I was practically a walking skeleton , and gosh how could I possibly be walking around parading my skeleton-like body before that, I have no idea.

It struck me then . It came to me that if I don't do something about it , nothing will change, and since I got time anyway, why not? It wouldn't take up too much time and effort right? And there i was wrong again. Dead wrong .Body Building , may I say , is one of the harshest sport in the world . It takes forever to grow, especially for a hard gainer like me.

Thus, with that in mind, along with other motivations, I started going to gym ... Slowly but surely , it has become almost like a lifestyle to me. Although I can't say I grew much , but there is definitely some changes with my body and I am proud to say that I did body build.Body building has shed a new light to me , putting a new lens for me to see a whole new world. Now, I am finally beginning to understand how tough it is , how much dedication , determination and discipline needed to stick to this lifestyle.

The end result though , is extremely rewarding and endearing. Provided that you go past the pain , you would be reborn a new man , much tougher and stronger , as the quote goes, what doesn't kill, simply makes you stronger ;).Oh, and there are other benefits to body building too, such as making new friends who have similar passion . Knowing that there are other people that are pumping iron as hard as you , putting in similar efforts , it's reassuring . In fact, I felt like there's a special bond between all the body builders. The fact that we did the extraordinary effort of sticking to the work out plan and exercising instead of slacking and rotting at home like the majority of the population does , is the proof that we are all connected and share the same special passion , the IRON.

I guess, being guys , going to gym and building body is the most intuitive and rational thing to do , aint' it ? Much like how girls would like to slim down and make sure their waist line does not grow, we guys are driven to feel the pain , go through it , and quench the insatiable thirst to acquire the perfect body .

So yeah.. a major shout out and salute to my fellow body builders out there ! Great job ! Keep on doing it :)

Things You Will Never Know.

When you left for the states , I bid farewell to you with a big smile. Putting up a brave front , I resisted long enough until you board the plane ,before the droplets of tears started flowing down , rolling down my cheeks like the rain .

I didn't really feel happy at all , deep inside my heart , I wished for you to stay.Yet words couldn't come out from my mouth , even a simple " Don't go " would suffice, but I simply couldn't utter it.Just a few months ago , we were so happy together . Hanging out together , holding your hands , celebrating God's greatest gift to me, you , I never thought that this day would come. The day that I will be separated from you...

Perhaps I was naive, maybe I was the only fool. The fool who thinks that one day , maybe.. just maybe you would see me in different light . Maybe the day when my unrequited love end, shall come. Maybe you would finally answer my call for love ?

When you finally reached there , you never called , you never messaged . No, you never even try to find a way to contact me , to at least tell me how you are doing and how things are there, yet I still misses you all the same.

It has been 5 years since... before I spoke to you again. You said it's been a long time , yet in my heart , it's short ,because I never fail to think of you every single day. I cringed when you told me about your new boyfriend , how he is treating you so nicely and you are living life happily every single day now, with him of course . Yet I still congratulates you , saying that I am happy for you too. I lied.

When you broke up , I was in the state of panic, concerned about your well being and emotional state , knowing that it must have taken a toll on you , considering how fragile and innocent you are. I struggled to find every means to contact you , to talk to you , to console you. Finally , we spoke again . You said you are okay , it's just another passing phase that you had to endure. I know you are not. You must be suffering now .As much as I wanted to beat up the bastard that did that to your maiden heart , I can't . I have a more important duty , to cheer you up.

I did everything I could. Be it a fool or a clown, I don't mind. Even being ridiculed and treated as a nuisance , I couldn't care less, as long as you can smile again :) . And you did ... or at least I thought so.

Now, we are back to being just friends. Perhaps even closer to the strangers borderline. Then again, I wouldn't mind, as long as you are happy . Be it staying up whole night just to talk to you , rushing out of an important meeting just to meet up with you , or waking up in the middle of the night just to accompany you, I would gladly do it all .Even if you wanted the impossible, I shall try my best to get it. Because, ever since I met you , I have decided to devote everything in my life to you , making you smile being my top priority.

People say girls are complicated and very sensitive . But what about guys? You wouldn't really believe that all guys think with their brawl rather than their brain right? There exists guys that will do everything just to make you happy . There exists guys that are sensitive to emotions.

But you will never know. Perhaps you wouldn't even see this side of me, ever. For in your mind and heart, I am just , another normal friend :) Yet I still do it anyway.Love is supposed to be selfless anyway. They say happiness begets happiness. In a way , it's kinda true. As long as you are happy , I will be too , somehow.

True,genuine love calls for selfless sacrifice . If you will be happy while I can only stay from afar , watching u from the shadows while protecting you , so be it. Even if you might never know that I still love you and will do anything to take care of you from the bottom of my heart , I will still do it anyway , as long as ... you are happy :) I will do whatever it takes.

******
*fuuu , finally finish :D . So erm. before you started assuming anything or commenting, please read this and be aware that this is just a FICTIONAL STORY that has got nothing to do anyone,me included. Any resemblance to the people and scenario in the real world is purely coincidental.It has been a long time since I last wrote a story , hence I guess it's a time to do some practice. This story is actually inspired by an anime called " Honey&Clover " , which I think is one of the best anime of all times. Do watch it if you haven't already :D .

And since i guess my writing style leans more towards a melancholy side, I guess it would be better if I write a sad love story , and ta daaa, with that , this story was born. Please drop a comment if you were somewhat touched or got something to say regarding this story . ty :D"