The Other Side of Me...

*Sigh* and again i begin my post...Me , the cheerful and optimistic type? Wrong,Dead wrong!I am just being cheerful and optimistic outside i guess? Sometimes i do not understand myself.What am i really like?Who am i?Man, i am getting sick of myself.Why the heck can't i just have a truly happy and peaceful life for just once?Instead,i come here and rambles craps about my self.Out of so many places, i think this is the only place i can hide and rants out all my sealed feelings.

I might look like an ordinary guy who is always happy outside,but inside the shell i am nothing but a scared kid... with a lot of thoughts.. who wants nothing but attention.I guess this is what people called "alter-ego" eh?I yearn for ppl's attention!for ppl to talk to me! for ppl to understand me. However , it seems this is to no avail.All my yearning just went down to drain....and even worse some actually backfired!!!What can i said? All this is my own doing!!

Truly,my life is getting from bad to worse.Now, truly i am beginning to feel the agony of net. Online life is actually .. not a life at all. From time to time,no matter how hard i try to protect the "bond" that exists between me and friends,Somehow .. time will just break it apart.Why?Why do this happen?After all the efforts,the time and the life i am spending in it, what i gain ..are just plain agony.Why must this happen?Despite all that,i finally realize.. Enough is enough,i am tired of it anymore.Having been scarred a thousand time, i got the message already... the net .. is no longer the place where i can hide ......

What is it with net,when i thought i rise to heaven, a kick just drop me down to hell.Are you toying with me?Are you playing me ?If so then congratz you just hit the bull's eye.I am all dead.I do not know why?Maybe because i seeks attention?and when ppl ignored me , i tends to fell apart..Slowly but surely, my mind is falling apart... like the pieces of puzzles i use to play with last time but this one is different,these pieces are never going to mix together again.People said "Good memories are to be treasured and cherished" but how about the bad memories? Do you just ignore them and hope time banishes them? or Do you just wait for it to vanish it self?That is idioitic as they won't go ! they tends to stick around you and annoy you to no ends..Thats what is happening with me now.

I am down.. i lost my self in the sea of love,money and power.....I just dunno what the hell am i thinking now anyway!!!Why must things end this way?If i got a wish now,i can only hope for one thing , that is for time to move backward .. to the way things are still good yet....
All i can do is just to pray and hope to lives another day.. may life changes for me..