It has been quite a while since this blog have any signs of happiness,joy and laughter.Heck,in fact someone once commented that my blog sounds so depressed that it makes him think that I am actually planning to commit suicide .
Actually,I do not know why too.It just happens to be so that whenever I am on the verge of depression or brink of emotional turmoil,I just seems to have the need to blog it all out.Ironically,I seems to be able to blog better and express my feelings a lot clearer when I am in that kind of emotional state.
Well,that is about to change I guess.This blog deserves a breathe of fresh air.Change is in the air!Well,for starters,let's talk a bit about this Christmas Eve,shall we?This year,I have a totally different kind of Christmas.
For the past few years, I have been spending Christmas alone,and spending it like every other normal day.This year,however is different.It is unique in the sense that I get to spend it with friends and enjoy it thoroughly in festive mood.
The festive mood,the constant deafening noise made by all of us,a 7-seater viva,going out to internet cafes at 2 a.m in the morning,ps2 on fire and a plenty of fun.Now,thats what I call a joyful Christmas.
I finally get to savour the taste of happiness after so long.However,something is quite amiss I guess.Yeah,the heart-to-heart talk.Haha, nevertheless, it was still very fun.Albeit ,it could be funner and better if the others manage to stay over =(.
Imagine the nostalgia 50 years later when we think back about it.Those fun and crazy things we have done back in our youthful days.It will be real pleasure thinking about it.
Alright,now here comes the sad part.Every meeting will bound to lead to separation.The same goes to this party.All good things will eventually come to an end.This year marks the beginning of our separation.The next year,we will all walk our own separate path.
All I can do now is to hope and pray that our paths will cross once more again in the near future.I truly hope this friendship that have been established will last long,preferably forever.Nevertheless,life just have to move on.
So,thank you guys for the memories.This is truly a mirthful Christmas to me.Hope it will be the same for the others too.Happy Xmas ! =D
- Listening to : Everything's Alright
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
17 years old.
For some of you out there,today,might be just an ordinary day,a mundane day filled with nondescript routines that have been repeating itself over and over again,or it might be a day filled with exciting activities and exhilarating adventure that awaits you.
However,for me,today is a rather special day.An unique day that signifies something important in my life.A representation of life's aging cycle.Yes,like everyone else,people ages,so do I.Today,is my 17th birthday.A mark that I have reached yet another point of life where things will begin to change.
Now that I am 17 years old...
-I am older by another year
-I am beginning to enter the " real world"
-I am beginning to care about my future.
-I have learned that people will change ,with the flow of time albeit indefinitely.
-I have learned to differentiate friends and foes
-I have learned that anger is something scary,and if one is able to control it,quality of life would definitely improves dramatically.
-I have learned that if one steps out from his comfort zone,there will be countless opportunities awaiting him everywhere.
-I have learned that mere words without actions are futile and practically meaningless.
-I have learned that one needs to take a subtle yet pragmatic approach towards life in order to live a better life.
-I have learned that one should not ever judge another person by his/her appearance as they may prove to be deceptive.
-I have learned that beauty lies in the eye of the beholder.
=> I have learned that opportunities can be loss as easily as they can be gain.
=> I have learned that friends will eventually go separate ways as time proceed.
=> I have learned that human's emotion are best not to be tampered with,as they can cost great loss and destructions.
=> I have learned that things do not always go my way.Sometimes,one need to accept whatever mistakes that have been done and let it go just like that.
=> I have learned that time is too precious to be wasted just like that.
=> I have learned that I have been missing much of what life can offer simply because I lack strength,intelligent and effort.
Thinking back,it has been a long 16 years isn't it?This year has been a year full of ravaging feelings,an emotional roller coaster experience through out the whole year.Many have changed and yet many have remained the same.
Ironically,for the past 5 years being in school,I have been complaining and grumbling endlessly about how bad it is being in school and studying just for the sake of getting A and yet now,I am recapping and reminiscing about how wonderful school life is,without much worries and stresses,being with friends,enjoying myself everyday.
Life itself is a big Pandora's box isn't it?Troubles come at the moment when you least expected them,so does happiness and joy.It has been a great year this year.While I am still longing for the yesteryear's sweet and sour memories,I have to face the cruel fact.The bitter reality that life have to go on,and we have to move forward.
Gone are the days of yesteryear,living life without much worries,where everyday is just another fun day filled with mysteries and unknown adventures waiting for us to explore.As I stared back down the memory lane,I realised things didn't really change that much.The only one that is changing is you and me.Humans change.Thats all.Not that it can be helped either.
Now,I should just turn back and move forward,the way it is supposed to be.Ahead of me lies countless adventures and infinite possibilities.What is going to happen next depends solely on my effort.It would take a miracle to carve a perfect future.And for that miracle to happen,I need change.
It is the time now.Time for change.Time for me to decide.Let's go.Let's keep the flame of passion and the bright future keep on burning.Hang on there,buddy =D.
However,for me,today is a rather special day.An unique day that signifies something important in my life.A representation of life's aging cycle.Yes,like everyone else,people ages,so do I.Today,is my 17th birthday.A mark that I have reached yet another point of life where things will begin to change.
Now that I am 17 years old...
-I am older by another year
-I am beginning to enter the " real world"
-I am beginning to care about my future.
-I have learned that people will change ,with the flow of time albeit indefinitely.
-I have learned to differentiate friends and foes
-I have learned that anger is something scary,and if one is able to control it,quality of life would definitely improves dramatically.
-I have learned that if one steps out from his comfort zone,there will be countless opportunities awaiting him everywhere.
-I have learned that mere words without actions are futile and practically meaningless.
-I have learned that one needs to take a subtle yet pragmatic approach towards life in order to live a better life.
-I have learned that one should not ever judge another person by his/her appearance as they may prove to be deceptive.
-I have learned that beauty lies in the eye of the beholder.
=> I have learned that opportunities can be loss as easily as they can be gain.
=> I have learned that friends will eventually go separate ways as time proceed.
=> I have learned that human's emotion are best not to be tampered with,as they can cost great loss and destructions.
=> I have learned that things do not always go my way.Sometimes,one need to accept whatever mistakes that have been done and let it go just like that.
=> I have learned that time is too precious to be wasted just like that.
=> I have learned that I have been missing much of what life can offer simply because I lack strength,intelligent and effort.
Thinking back,it has been a long 16 years isn't it?This year has been a year full of ravaging feelings,an emotional roller coaster experience through out the whole year.Many have changed and yet many have remained the same.
Ironically,for the past 5 years being in school,I have been complaining and grumbling endlessly about how bad it is being in school and studying just for the sake of getting A and yet now,I am recapping and reminiscing about how wonderful school life is,without much worries and stresses,being with friends,enjoying myself everyday.
Life itself is a big Pandora's box isn't it?Troubles come at the moment when you least expected them,so does happiness and joy.It has been a great year this year.While I am still longing for the yesteryear's sweet and sour memories,I have to face the cruel fact.The bitter reality that life have to go on,and we have to move forward.
Gone are the days of yesteryear,living life without much worries,where everyday is just another fun day filled with mysteries and unknown adventures waiting for us to explore.As I stared back down the memory lane,I realised things didn't really change that much.The only one that is changing is you and me.Humans change.Thats all.Not that it can be helped either.
Now,I should just turn back and move forward,the way it is supposed to be.Ahead of me lies countless adventures and infinite possibilities.What is going to happen next depends solely on my effort.It would take a miracle to carve a perfect future.And for that miracle to happen,I need change.
It is the time now.Time for change.Time for me to decide.Let's go.Let's keep the flame of passion and the bright future keep on burning.Hang on there,buddy =D.
Monday, December 22, 2008
A matter of choice.
The birds were chirping,as if they were singing to a song,welcoming us with such a melodious tune.The picture perfect sceneries, were simply spectacular and astounding,almost glowing with a certain aura that would blind our eyes.And the weather.... ar.... not too hot or cold.The perfect weather for hiking ....Is it? NO!!!!
Those were what I had in mind before planning to hike Penang Hill.However,reality was far too cruel than fantasy.The deafening barking sound of dogs ,the danger of monkeys lurking everywhere,and the scorching heat from the sun...Awhh.. it is almost like living hell up there.The sceneries though was rather ok.
With several friends,7 to be exact ( excluding me ),we conquered Penang Hill.In those 3 excruciating hours,we experienced pain,heat,fatigue,and thirst.However,on the good side,we did experience joy,sweetness and a sense of accomplishment too.The journey itself was very exhilarating adventure.
Breaking away from the hustle and bustle of the city, a retreat to find happiness and peace in Penang Hill certainly is a welcoming experience.Upon reaching the top of Penang Hill,I felt like the lethargic and fatigue me just vanished into thin air.The majestic view itself was worth the effort already,coupled with the windy,chilling breeze up there,one would definitely be able to forget all the problems and troubles in city.
All this while , I have been living in the concrete jungle,stuffing myself up with all the stresses and problems.I had little chance to relax at all.In addition,when an opportunity arises and I was asked to go out, I declined it,citing various excuses and reasons.
This ought to stop.Today,I learned that by stepping out from my comfort zone,I actually can discover a whole new whole,and the benefits too , are boundless.Heck,I even met some good new friends.So,sure,why not?Next time,when anyone wanna go out, do call me =D .If it is possible, definitely I will go ! ( given that it doesn't require a lot of money,and not under some circumstances )
"When you say no,you say no to life.You must stop.You are not living at all.When an opportunity presents itself to you,you must say.. YES! YES ! YES!YES !!"
Familiar with the quote above?Yeah,that quote was from Yes Man,the latest comedy show starring Jim Carrey.It is definitely a nice show that carries an inspiring messag (sort of).I do guarantee that you will end up laughing out from the cinema if you watch it.
So,well thats all for now folks.Thanks again to my fellow friends for accompanying me today to conquer Penang Hill.We did it!!!
Those were what I had in mind before planning to hike Penang Hill.However,reality was far too cruel than fantasy.The deafening barking sound of dogs ,the danger of monkeys lurking everywhere,and the scorching heat from the sun...Awhh.. it is almost like living hell up there.The sceneries though was rather ok.
With several friends,7 to be exact ( excluding me ),we conquered Penang Hill.In those 3 excruciating hours,we experienced pain,heat,fatigue,and thirst.However,on the good side,we did experience joy,sweetness and a sense of accomplishment too.The journey itself was very exhilarating adventure.
Breaking away from the hustle and bustle of the city, a retreat to find happiness and peace in Penang Hill certainly is a welcoming experience.Upon reaching the top of Penang Hill,I felt like the lethargic and fatigue me just vanished into thin air.The majestic view itself was worth the effort already,coupled with the windy,chilling breeze up there,one would definitely be able to forget all the problems and troubles in city.
All this while , I have been living in the concrete jungle,stuffing myself up with all the stresses and problems.I had little chance to relax at all.In addition,when an opportunity arises and I was asked to go out, I declined it,citing various excuses and reasons.
This ought to stop.Today,I learned that by stepping out from my comfort zone,I actually can discover a whole new whole,and the benefits too , are boundless.Heck,I even met some good new friends.So,sure,why not?Next time,when anyone wanna go out, do call me =D .If it is possible, definitely I will go ! ( given that it doesn't require a lot of money,and not under some circumstances )
"When you say no,you say no to life.You must stop.You are not living at all.When an opportunity presents itself to you,you must say.. YES! YES ! YES!YES !!"
Familiar with the quote above?Yeah,that quote was from Yes Man,the latest comedy show starring Jim Carrey.It is definitely a nice show that carries an inspiring messag (sort of).I do guarantee that you will end up laughing out from the cinema if you watch it.
So,well thats all for now folks.Thanks again to my fellow friends for accompanying me today to conquer Penang Hill.We did it!!!
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Time to change
Ah... yeah, today is yet another fun-filled day that will bring me endless joy and happiness until I can't wait till the next tomorrow... Wait.. or is it ?
Nawh,as much as I would like to deny it, the days after examination isn't really all sweet and fun-filled.In fact,it was rather in contrary of what I had imagined earlier.Being on cloud nine, enjoying every minutes of my supposed holiday, yeah.. you get the ideas, those happy life that I had imagined.They never did arrived.
Insted,all I got was a lousy holiday filled with uncertainties and unfulfilled promises.Citing indifference,everyday was almost the same.Sitting on the chair,facing the dull monitor,picking up the monotonous sound from the ticking clock,everyday is just about the same.This nondescript pattern repeats itself over and over again till everyday is mere passing days to me.
In fact,I almost nearly forget who I really am.Am I still a human? Or am i living my day off as a living zombie?Every morning , I wake up with a pessimistic attitude ,knowing that it will be another mundane day passing by.
This is different.Totally different.I still remember how I used to wake up with anxiety and nervousness,knowing that it will be a new day that will present me with new challenges and exciting things to do.I used to have that sleepless nights pondering and wondering over the same thing over and over again before I finally fell asleep smiling.
Now,I have to wept myself to sleep everynight,knowing that I will no longer be able to return to the momentous,bittersweet past.Those days that I would really be able to smile truthfully,without having to put on any poker face and pretend to be happy.Those happy memories that will only continue to exist as memory and nothing else.
Time will move on,and these petal of memories will eventually fall off.So,what can we do?Cry and lament about it? Or move on towards a better future?
Now, I am currently having stars above my head as how to decide for the path ahead of me.Future ... is complicated.Which career should I consider?In what aspects should I consider?What are my long term assets and loss?There are uncountable roads lying ahead of me,which one should I choose?
It is time... finally time for me to step out from my comfort zone and decide it for myself.Finally,time to change.Give me some guidance please.No matter what I choose, I hope everything will be well for me and you.. =D.
Nawh,as much as I would like to deny it, the days after examination isn't really all sweet and fun-filled.In fact,it was rather in contrary of what I had imagined earlier.Being on cloud nine, enjoying every minutes of my supposed holiday, yeah.. you get the ideas, those happy life that I had imagined.They never did arrived.
Insted,all I got was a lousy holiday filled with uncertainties and unfulfilled promises.Citing indifference,everyday was almost the same.Sitting on the chair,facing the dull monitor,picking up the monotonous sound from the ticking clock,everyday is just about the same.This nondescript pattern repeats itself over and over again till everyday is mere passing days to me.
In fact,I almost nearly forget who I really am.Am I still a human? Or am i living my day off as a living zombie?Every morning , I wake up with a pessimistic attitude ,knowing that it will be another mundane day passing by.
This is different.Totally different.I still remember how I used to wake up with anxiety and nervousness,knowing that it will be a new day that will present me with new challenges and exciting things to do.I used to have that sleepless nights pondering and wondering over the same thing over and over again before I finally fell asleep smiling.
Now,I have to wept myself to sleep everynight,knowing that I will no longer be able to return to the momentous,bittersweet past.Those days that I would really be able to smile truthfully,without having to put on any poker face and pretend to be happy.Those happy memories that will only continue to exist as memory and nothing else.
Time will move on,and these petal of memories will eventually fall off.So,what can we do?Cry and lament about it? Or move on towards a better future?
Now, I am currently having stars above my head as how to decide for the path ahead of me.Future ... is complicated.Which career should I consider?In what aspects should I consider?What are my long term assets and loss?There are uncountable roads lying ahead of me,which one should I choose?
It is time... finally time for me to step out from my comfort zone and decide it for myself.Finally,time to change.Give me some guidance please.No matter what I choose, I hope everything will be well for me and you.. =D.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Sealed Fate
After much pondering and wondering upon the future,in the very end , I didn't even get a say about it.So,really,what is the point?When everything has already been decided earlier... much earlier,who am I to oppose the predestined rules?Destiny is something that has been decided way before we are born.Fate,is something we are born with.Now,remind me which idiot told me that one can oppose destiny again?
Frankly,i don't believe in miracles.Those coincidences or seemingly lucky miracles that happens when we are facing troubles?Those are mere drama tools.Things that only worked like a charm in fantasy.This is the real world,the cruel reality.Thing's don't happen the same way they do in fantasy here.Life is much harder and complicated.
If we really get to change our destiny or even choose our own fate ,why are there poor and rich people?Why are there stupid and clever people?Worse yet,why are there people with fame,power and fortune and on the contrary, there are people struck with poverty,social outcasts,and people with nothing at all.
Admit it,life is just that unfair.Nothing is fair and square here.No matter how tight the rules are,there will still be loopholes and people that have connections will be capable of exploiting those loopholes and escape the justice of law.No matter how hard you try to climb up the ladder of success, eventually there will be some places that you can't reach,simply because you are not destined to do it.
And by destiny, I meant luck.Some people are born lucky,born into a high-profile family , with plenty of connections and most importantly, possessing a large amount of fortune.As much as one would like to deny it, the reality now is that in this world of materialism,nearly everything revolves around money.The clothes you are wearing now, the house you are living in, the car, the education fees, all is about money.
So,really,monetary gain is very important,almost vital for survival.The law of jungle still applies here,though the test for survival of the fittest in this concrete jungle we are living in is being done in such a way that having money means having strength,power and fame.So,literally, the one that have the most money will be the king.
For those who are born with a silver spoon, consider yourself lucky as you have the privilege of being rich and have more control in your life.Appreciate and cherish it,instead of taking it for granted.Live a frugal lifestyle and spend less.You will never know how worth is every penny unless you earn it , the hard way.
Life is truly an unpredictable journey.You can't predict the roads ahead you, nor can you control it.So,why not live life to the fullest?Since you won't know anything that lies ahead in your future,might as well surrender your fate and let the future flow in smoothly by itself.Just welcome it with open arms and be prepared to face anything that is coming this way.Just smile
and let the wheel of destiny start spinning = ].
*Overall,the author is just musing and ranting out his childish thoughts as he is throwing tantrums right now.Because of having his desired road taken away,and the need to follow a path less taken, he is currently having emotional turbulence and can't get his minds straight.This is just a random thought of him,so let's not take it too seriously,shall we? =D
Frankly,i don't believe in miracles.Those coincidences or seemingly lucky miracles that happens when we are facing troubles?Those are mere drama tools.Things that only worked like a charm in fantasy.This is the real world,the cruel reality.Thing's don't happen the same way they do in fantasy here.Life is much harder and complicated.
If we really get to change our destiny or even choose our own fate ,why are there poor and rich people?Why are there stupid and clever people?Worse yet,why are there people with fame,power and fortune and on the contrary, there are people struck with poverty,social outcasts,and people with nothing at all.
Admit it,life is just that unfair.Nothing is fair and square here.No matter how tight the rules are,there will still be loopholes and people that have connections will be capable of exploiting those loopholes and escape the justice of law.No matter how hard you try to climb up the ladder of success, eventually there will be some places that you can't reach,simply because you are not destined to do it.
And by destiny, I meant luck.Some people are born lucky,born into a high-profile family , with plenty of connections and most importantly, possessing a large amount of fortune.As much as one would like to deny it, the reality now is that in this world of materialism,nearly everything revolves around money.The clothes you are wearing now, the house you are living in, the car, the education fees, all is about money.
So,really,monetary gain is very important,almost vital for survival.The law of jungle still applies here,though the test for survival of the fittest in this concrete jungle we are living in is being done in such a way that having money means having strength,power and fame.So,literally, the one that have the most money will be the king.
For those who are born with a silver spoon, consider yourself lucky as you have the privilege of being rich and have more control in your life.Appreciate and cherish it,instead of taking it for granted.Live a frugal lifestyle and spend less.You will never know how worth is every penny unless you earn it , the hard way.
Life is truly an unpredictable journey.You can't predict the roads ahead you, nor can you control it.So,why not live life to the fullest?Since you won't know anything that lies ahead in your future,might as well surrender your fate and let the future flow in smoothly by itself.Just welcome it with open arms and be prepared to face anything that is coming this way.Just smile
and let the wheel of destiny start spinning = ].
*Overall,the author is just musing and ranting out his childish thoughts as he is throwing tantrums right now.Because of having his desired road taken away,and the need to follow a path less taken, he is currently having emotional turbulence and can't get his minds straight.This is just a random thought of him,so let's not take it too seriously,shall we? =D
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Storms Ahead
" Staring blankly towards the empty space, a plethora of thoughts crossed my mind.I see nothing but dark clouds that lies ahead.Tsk,premonition...and a bad one too.And so,as my eyes remain fixed on the blank,empty space, my ears began to pick up some familiar sound Ah,..it's those monotonous ticking sound of the clock again.. "
Time flies..Hmm, that's what I would say for the present days and perhaps days that lies ahead too.They say,time flies when we are enjoying ourselves.Well,that is true... to a certain degree maybe.It is true alright?but it is half-true.The other half being time flies when you are not having fun too.
The best example would be what I am having now.So,spm is over.Now what?The days after spm just seems more meaningless than ever.Somehow,the burdens and stresses just seems to multiply instantly after spm.
As of a week ago,after spm, I was facing a rather big dilemma deciding my future.Sure,being an average normal teen that just finishes spm, one of the major examination, I should be happy,experiencing total freedom and all but no.
I realise that the onus is on me, not as a student,but as an individual, to finally have a say in deciding my future.It is this time now, where the inexperiences and lack of knowledge starting to surge in .It is this time now,that those petty things that I have neglected past the years starting to show their fangs, creeping slowly to my future paths,affecting them heavily.
Ah, there it goes again,Just when I think things won't get any worst,you just have to prove me wrong ,don't ya ?Bad things just come rolling in , over and over again.The streaks of bad luck just doesn't end, doesn't it ?And somehow my premonition tell me it will get worse.
But then again, perhaps,facing it with my current pessimistic mindset won't do me any good,will it ?Nevertheless,will a change of mind help?Perhaps, a little.Whatever happens to my hopeful and optimistic side of mine be4 spm ?Whatever happens to the plans I had?
I wonder.Alright,enough of over depression and pessimism shall we?Let's look at the bright side.Now,I can't say for sure how my life is going.But at the very least,I know it isn't unproductive.Eventhough I can't say I am enjoying life,but I dare say I am not hating it either.
And no matter how I struggle to restrain my thoughts and to go back to past,time will continue moving and the problems will come sooner or later right?So,why not face it now.As I did promise last time,whatever trials and tribulations that may lie ahead,I shall face it with courage.Sigh,so how can I be reluctant now?Be is storms or tornado that lies ahead, bring them forth.I shall not run anymore.Come what may.I just wish that after this , I can finally see sunshine. = D
Time flies..Hmm, that's what I would say for the present days and perhaps days that lies ahead too.They say,time flies when we are enjoying ourselves.Well,that is true... to a certain degree maybe.It is true alright?but it is half-true.The other half being time flies when you are not having fun too.
The best example would be what I am having now.So,spm is over.Now what?The days after spm just seems more meaningless than ever.Somehow,the burdens and stresses just seems to multiply instantly after spm.
As of a week ago,after spm, I was facing a rather big dilemma deciding my future.Sure,being an average normal teen that just finishes spm, one of the major examination, I should be happy,experiencing total freedom and all but no.
I realise that the onus is on me, not as a student,but as an individual, to finally have a say in deciding my future.It is this time now, where the inexperiences and lack of knowledge starting to surge in .It is this time now,that those petty things that I have neglected past the years starting to show their fangs, creeping slowly to my future paths,affecting them heavily.
Ah, there it goes again,Just when I think things won't get any worst,you just have to prove me wrong ,don't ya ?Bad things just come rolling in , over and over again.The streaks of bad luck just doesn't end, doesn't it ?And somehow my premonition tell me it will get worse.
But then again, perhaps,facing it with my current pessimistic mindset won't do me any good,will it ?Nevertheless,will a change of mind help?Perhaps, a little.Whatever happens to my hopeful and optimistic side of mine be4 spm ?Whatever happens to the plans I had?
I wonder.Alright,enough of over depression and pessimism shall we?Let's look at the bright side.Now,I can't say for sure how my life is going.But at the very least,I know it isn't unproductive.Eventhough I can't say I am enjoying life,but I dare say I am not hating it either.
And no matter how I struggle to restrain my thoughts and to go back to past,time will continue moving and the problems will come sooner or later right?So,why not face it now.As I did promise last time,whatever trials and tribulations that may lie ahead,I shall face it with courage.Sigh,so how can I be reluctant now?Be is storms or tornado that lies ahead, bring them forth.I shall not run anymore.Come what may.I just wish that after this , I can finally see sunshine. = D
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