Cycles of Life

And so,the cycle goes on and on.I watch silently as the pathetic episode unfold before me.It is the same as before.Those so-called matured adults arguing among themselves,fighting like barbarians and wild beasts instead of displaying a proper decorum as they were expected to have.

As expected,nothing have changed.No matter how much one say the transition from adolescence period to adulthood will be totally different,at the inner core,it is still the same.Sure, you might see one adult or two acting maturely and behaving properly for a moment,but sure enough,when trouble arises,out of the blues,you will see the kid from their heart emerging and taking control.

Fighting over silly things without any logic or rational reasoning whatsoever.Well,as expected anyway,they are after all ,still human =D.The reason I am saying all this are actually because of some colleagues in my workplace.

I am kinda fed up actually at how they act.Changing things all of a sudden and behaving in such inappropriate way.Either way,it is not really a big matter as it was soon settled with little or no harm to any sides involved =D.So,well,that's the summary for my working life for now.

Anyway,back to my personal life.Everything is going pretty smoothly so far.Compared to last time,this year was way more organized.And in a way I am actually earning money instead of wasting it =D.

However,there is a downfall too in working.The thing is, I will be sacrificing my precious time for the experience and monetary gains.I certainly hope it will be worth it.Apart from that,I am missing my freedom deeply.

The freedom of having flexible time.The freedom of being able to do whatever I want without any directions from the higher-ups.The freedom of not being bounded by contracts,rules and regulations.I miss them all.

But of course,among all of them,I miss going to school the most.I miss walking past the familiar scene,the accompanying green grass with the large field,seeing the familiar faces.I miss them all.My friends,my teachers,all those siao kias that sleep during history lesson,all those siao kias tat sing songs in the class,all those crazy things we did together ,breaking the rules as it was meant for. =D

I truly misses the old times .Really.What a fool I am for not appreciating the school life.Apart from that,I do misses my old friends too.

How I wish I can return to the past.But the reality is cruel.Life demands us to move forward without looking back.Sigh,i miss them all...I miss the past.Nevertheless,parting are necessary for every meeting.They have all gone through their own separate path now and thus,all I can do is to sit and pray may our paths intersect again in the future =D.Until then,best of luck to everyone.

" As I stare blankly at the frozen space,
My heart was sealed tightly,
I can simply watch,
As days and weeks fly past me,
As months and years seems just like a second ago,
And all the remorse and regrets I had over the yesteryears,
Just seems to be catching up now.

As I continue to indulge in the past,
Thousand thoughts passes the mind,
Inducing euphoria,confusion,and uncomprehendable grief.

What is it that I desire?
Like a fool wishing for a moon,
I keep on waiting,
Wishing for the impossibles.

But for now,

Living in life filled with uncertainties,
There is only one thing I can do.

No matter how time flow,
No matter how I ages,
No matter how my memory fade,
As long as this eyes can see,
And this man can breathe,
Shall I continue remembering thee.

"

Work! Work ! Work

"Next time when you work,you will know how hard is it to earn money."Sounds familiar?Well,i am pretty sure this statement is what most parents would tell u when you spend A LOT of money in a short amount of time.

Alright,maybe there are some parents that are rich and would tell their children " Don't worry,go on, spend more, I have a lot more for u" But sheesh thats not the point.(Darn it how I wish my parent would say that to me. ) .Anyway,as for me, the former statement appears to be my mom's favourite cliche.

And everytime she said that to me, I would just go " Ok ok, I understand" and well , continue asking for more money to spend the next day.At those time, all I could think of is fun,nothing more nothing less.Well,you can't blame me.I was still with my childish thinking that money is something that can be obtained easily just by working.And yeah, at that moment,the only hard and tough thing I can think of is study.

For me at that time,studying is the worst "job" ever.Nothing else could even come close to it.And I thought working life was nothing.Definitely working would be much easier than studying right?Well,the harsh truth is,NO,boy,I couldn't be more wrong than ever.

Despite the many controversies and contradictions people had about working life,I am sure there is one thing that they will eventually reach a consensus and agree on one thing,which is : Working life is tough.

It is completely on a different scale than studying.Compared to it,studying seems like a child's play.First of all,working depends heavily upon the environment and the job you are doing.Unlike in school,if you can't mix well with your colleagues,that's it.You will probably be working alone all long.Secondly,there are no rooms for mistakes in working life.One mistake and if you offended the boss,you'r gone.

Well,actually it varies.As I said,it relies heavily on the environment.I am lucky I landed a safe job,with good (but not the best ) colleagues and quite a reasonable boss.Though I must say,here in the supermarket I am working in,the standard is quite low.Everything,from the means of communications,management and with all due respect,even the ability of the managers themselves can be questioned.

However,there is one undeniable benefit in being there,that is the managers and the people there are good and kind.For now,I am quite satisfied actually.having a bunch of "ok" colleagues,a deserving manager,and a so-so job.Frankly,though,there are a lot of things I still wanna complain about,but considering I could even get a job,while there are many other jobless people out there,I should be grateful.

For time being,things are going well.Finally,I step out from my comfort zone and start working.Though,now I am slowly depriving time for my own self-enrichment.Is it worth it?I shall wait a while longer and see how it goes.Hopefully,things will get better = ].

By the way,in this few days I can't seems to stop thinking about the past.Nostalgias from the yesteryears are catching up,and I can no longer contain this feeling of excitement.I truly misses the old times.Ah....being a student is the best damn thing ever.How I wish I could relive those moments....

Reflection at 5a.m

As my eyes start widening,I yawn and groan with dismay,knowing that it is still early.Being the typical lazy guy I am,I started rolling back and forth in the bed and then closed my eyes again,hoping I can be in another deep slumber and hopefully getting a happy dream.Nevertheless,it seems that Lady Luck isn't smiling at me this time.After a few minutes of fidgeting around trying to go into the world of dreams,I finally accept the fact.I can't sleep.

Alright then,so the first logical thing one would do after waking up would be checking the time right?So,I took the watch beside me and look at the time.My eyes widened again,this time a little wider.

*****

It is 5a.m in the morning now and what the hell am I doing here?Good question.What on earth am I doing,waking up on this unearthly hour and switching on the computer ?Well,the truth is,I love unearthly hours.Whether it is the extremely ungodly hours such as 1 a.m in the morning or 5a.m now,I love them.I love them to every bits.

And why is this so?Somehow,I felt that at this extreme hours,I will be able to find peace and solace,knowing that no one else but me is currently awake now (o.k maybe there are other siao kias like me too but that's not the point here ).Here,waking up at this very hour,somehow makes me feel sheer bliss,absolute solace and definite peace.

I am kind of nocturnal type of guy.You know,the one that likes sleeping late at night.On the other hand,I seems to be diurnal too,waking up on this early morning and staying active.Alright,maybe switching on the computer and typing out some words isn't a very "active" thing to do.But well,at least my mind is sharp and crystal clear now.

Moving on,I find this kind of ungodly hours make me easier to think.Around this time,there would probably be no disturbance and annoyances surrounding you ( Heck,who would disturb you at 5am in the morning? )So,I guess this is the perfect time for me to reflect on things that are happening around my life now.

Right now,my life doesn't revolve around anything.Well,except that the fact that I put monetary gain as my highest priority now = ).And... well,while watching other friends going overseas,going colleges,busy working,I felt that I have somewhat become smaller , not in the sense of size,but something else.Something involving feelings,something involving sense of responsibility.Yeah ,that's it.

As one of the breadwinners of the family,as the only son , and more importantly as a normal human being, I realize that the onus is on me to be better in life,just to make life better for all of us,me and my family.Yet,at this very hour ,till today,I have yet to done anything significant.Sure,there are some random moments where I suddenly become productive but that is not the point.

What I mean is a long term plan.A plan guaranteed to provide financial freedom,health fitness,and a prosperous future.I find myself very small and rather insignificant compared to the rest of my friends out there,currently already started working for their future while me,I am still rather clueless about my own future.

In my eyes,I see many forks and turns,roads splitting into several branches,and I see an endless paths with an indefinite end awaiting me.I shuddered in dismay,feeling a chill of apprehension about my uncertain future.

Sigh,perhaps all this thinking will make me duller.Perhaps I should stop all this nonsensical thoughts,perhaps I should stop thinking at all !...Nawh,I guess for the time being,I will just stick around and wait. = )

Perhaps by just waiting and following the flow and rhythm of life would be the most natural thing to do.Maybe,by doing that, I might eventually stumble across the right path.=D

Either way,time is moving too fast right now,so fast that I can literally feel my body rotting away with time.Now isn't the time to be thinking about future stuffs like that,now is the time to work for it.Well,lets go,time to get productive = D.

For all others who are currently working their way up the stairways of life,I wish you guys and girls,the best of luck and may you all attain peace,happiness and a prosperous life =D.

Cashies' Job.

So,there ya go.While others are busy studying in college or doing other beneficial things such as working a long time ago,I wasted my month doing something rather insignificant.As such,this few days I struggle to find jobs,for I know,jobs are hard to find nowadays.

Thus,yesterday I was completely flabbergasted when I was informed that I got a job as a cashier in that certain hypermarket (which I would not disclose here as it would tarnish the reputation of that hypermarket [if u wanna know ask me directly ]).

After the brief interview ( which was conducted in a rather haphazard and rushing manner ) ,I was told that there are only one job available currently,which is the cashier.So,somehow, without any notice on what is going to happen to me, I rushed and took the job without any hesitation and consideration at all.Little did I know what awaits me in the next day...

The next day,which is Today,I woke up with all the excitement and anxiety surrounding me.With absolutely positive and optimistic attitude,I stride gleefully towards my new workplace,anticipating a friendly group of workmates,cozy environment and highly flexible working hour yet with a high pay.

To my absolute horror,the converse of my wishes actually happened.Ok,maybe the workmates are friendly enough,but the same cannot be said to the working hour and pay.Working hour from 12 afternoon till 11p.m at night, with the basic salary being Rm 600 for 3 weeks.Worth it or not?You guys be the judge = )

Actually,if I am able to work in a nice,cozy environment with a friendly group of colleagues, I don't mind at all having a low pay.Seriously.However,if I were to have to deal with the converse of it while being paid handsomely, I will surely quit for sure.A high pay is definitely not a substitute for a pleasant working experience.

That being said,I end up resigning after working only 5 hours.Pathetic huh?Yeah,call me weakling,loser,chicken,whatever, but I definitely would not work there any longer.I despise the hectic and constantly stressful environment there.And the constant threat of shortage of money..Bawh. Though, I truly respects those who are working there now.My hats off to them.Truly amazing.

Nevertheless,about the environment there,it is such a big company that everyone have their own separate lists of works to do.There is little to none communication there.That is what I despised.On a separate note, I would prefer a small workplace where everyone there works in perfect unison and maintain communication like a family.That,is what I call the perfect environment =D.

Anyhow,in my brief stint in this work,I find myself having the need to face the awful truth that reality offer.In the real world,things don't always go your way....In the real world,there exists many little schemes that are carefully crafted by masterminds of the corporate world in order to trap the young and inexperience ones .Like those tiny little webs layed by spiders,carefully constructed in order to trap preys.Lesson learned,Do not be too naive.Thats all I can say about this real world. = )

A New Year.

2008 had slipped away into the shadow,slowly inviting the fresh 2009 year to take over in a subtle,but pragmatic manner.

2008 has been a year filled with varieties of emotions.I have experienced the triumph of victory,the joy of being with friends,the sorrow of losing dreams,and countless other euphoric and appalling moments alike.It has truly been a crazy emotional roller coaster for me.

Let the review of that crazy year begin.
On Education & Future
-Nothing much except the fact that I finally graduated from Penang Free School,the school which was once considered prodigious and famous but now end up deteriorating till becoming a below average school.Frankly, I do not feel proud being in this school as of it's current state.However,no matter what ,it is still my alma mater.For that,I do hope it will be able to restore itself to it's former glory and I will help in any way possible .

-As for my future,nothing much has been planned,except the fact that I am just waiting for results in March and will go form 6 if the results are not good.Ironic isn't it?For months ,I have been the one opposing this Form 6 suggestion as strongly as possible and yet in the end I have to surrender my fate to it.

-I can only hope for the best.Certainly my priority now is to achieve financial freedom.Others can wait.Thats all for now.
On Lifestyle
-I am starting to love reading now.Yes,reading as in reading books ( no not the referrence book ).Books such as fictions and non -fiction self-enrichment type.Yeah that one. I love them now.Strange, from a book-hater to an avid book reader now,I have certainly come a long way.I am glad I started liking books. = D

-On the other hand,I haven't been slacking off on physical activities too.Recently,I have been involved in hiking...lots of lots of hiking =D.And did I mention the euphoria of playing badminton? Arh it is just pure ectasy.I love badminton.
On Relationship & Human Relations
-Been there,done it,gave up.Yeah,basically,it is kind of forgive and forget situation.Just that , I choose to forsake relationship for other priorities.Relationship really isn't that important anyway.
Only when one choose to forsake those, can one gain more friends.And that's exactly what I have done =D. And I am extremely glad I did it !

-Need to start working on human relations part.Next time I meet someone, I want to project an image of someone who have absolute confidence in himself and poise in stature yet humble and able to communicate perfectly.Will I be able to do it?Only time will tell =D.

Basically,thats it.All that pretty much sums up my life in the year 2008.It is not pretty good but it is not bad eiher,just so-so.Let's just hope up this 2009 year will be a better year and hopefully a decent one.Before I end this post,let me conclude it with the typical new year resolution.

I want to work hard to achieve my dreamss!!! Simple =D The rest of my resolutions shall be kept with myself!! Hopefully with that,my resolutions will become true ! Alright,that's all.Here wishing you guys and girls a merry and prosperous new year!!!