For those who don't read emails XD

For those who don't read emails, here are some funny emails that you might/might not get XD .Those who understands hokkien, Go see the SPM hokkien paper HAHAha XD

A letter from ah beng
Dear Ah Lian

Thanks you for your letter. Wrong time no see you. How everything? For me, I am quiet find.

You say in your letter your taukeh soh want you to chain your look? Somemore you must wear kick kok soo, hope you can wok properly.

You know, Ah Kau Kia working in a soft where company now. Last week, he take I, Muthu & few of his friend to May Nonut to eat barger. After that he take we all go to kalah ok.
Muthu sing and sing no stop until the sky bright.

Next week, my father mother going to sellerbread 20 years annie wear sari. My father mother going to give a fist to all the kampong people. So you must come with your hole family.

I only hope one day we no need to write and send letter to you and to me. Better I e-meow you, you e-meow me. I will ketchup with you soon. And when you got time, please few free to call me. Goo bye.....

Worm regard,
Ah Beng

Nine words women use...

1.) Fine : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are
Right and you need to shut up.

2.) Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour.
Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more
Minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3.) Nothing : This is the calm before the storm. This means something,
And you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing
Usually end in fine.

4.) Go Ahead : This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5.) Loud Sigh : This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement
often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an
idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing
with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6.) That's Okay : This is one of the most dangerous statements a women
can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard
before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7.) Thanks : A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say
you're welcome.

8.) Whatever : Is a women's way of saying @#@# YOU!

9.) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning
this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but
is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's
wrong?' For the woman's response refer to #3.

Send this to the men you know, to warn them about arguments they can
avoid if they remember the terminology.

SPM Levels Hokkien Exam Paper Instructions: 1. Read the passage carefully 2. Grade yourself with the grading system at the end of the passage after reading. 3. Not that difficult, chin chai do lah ! Section A: Orrler Exeminetion (60 marks) Question: Singalella why become rich ? Koo zhar wu chee ay char bor kia, Singalella. She got two sisters, but the stepmarder and the sisters all damn kuai-lan, so she quite zhia-lat oso. Last time Singalella got own maid, but now she become the amah. Everyday must cook lah, clean lah, simi sai mah bao-kah-liao. If her sister say liak kar zhuak, she liak. Tak jit zho kah tau-hin. EPF poon boh. But then, kay piak eh ah-pek got one son call Ah Ming got party. So he say, 'oeh, long chong lai ah.' Singalella very happy because she never go party before but then her step-marder say, 'Lee Mana eh-sai kee, this one bahru lu eh sisters wu standard.' Then Singalella must zho sui-sui for her sisters and step-marder. Tap pai how, buay zhia, buay koon and buay pang-sai. That night she only can wave bye bye and then she go back to the kitchen and cook Maggi mee. Her neighbour came over and ask, 'Eh, an-zhua lu boh kee party?' So Singaalella kong, 'I-wan, lau-bu kong buay-sai, so boh pian.' She never expect but the neighbour say, 'Aiyah, kee lah, I give you money.' So singalella brush teef and zhang-zhui, chen-kor, after that look very different. She quickly run to opposite of the beh-chia-lor, already 11 o'clock. At the party, Ah Ming also quite sian because the char bor all boh sui one. Dance floor even got one ah pek dancing. Just as Ah Ming told himself, 'Aiyah see-pay zhia-lat', Singalella came in. Ah Ming straight away lau nuar. 'Wah-lau eh, see-pay heng ah, chee kor buay pai.' Ah Ming say to Singalella, 'eh, sui eh, wah ai kah lee zho flen!' Singalella say ok but Ah Ming like octopus, touch here touch there. But then just it was 12 o'clock, one ah pek die on the dance floor. He become ghost and tell Singalella all the good 4D number. So after that Singalella quickly go and buy 4D, and then tiok tau-pio, zhit-pak ban. So she pay back the kay-piak eh lau-kay-poh and then kah kee cho sen-lee. Simi kuan eh sen-lee wah mana eh zhai. Section B: Grades - Gauge Your command of Hokkien.... A1. Can understand the story and pronounce Hokkien correctly. Hokkien eh sai, bo beh zao. A2. Can understand half story and/or cannot pronounce Hokkien properly. zhia lat E8. Don't understand story and/or catch no ball. leow leow, mai ka lang kong you is Hokkien Singabolean F9. Don't understand rating. kee see lah, wah mana eh zhai lee kong simi? ?