Mirthful Christmas

It has been quite a while since this blog have any signs of happiness,joy and laughter.Heck,in fact someone once commented that my blog sounds so depressed that it makes him think that I am actually planning to commit suicide .

Actually,I do not know why too.It just happens to be so that whenever I am on the verge of depression or brink of emotional turmoil,I just seems to have the need to blog it all out.Ironically,I seems to be able to blog better and express my feelings a lot clearer when I am in that kind of emotional state.

Well,that is about to change I guess.This blog deserves a breathe of fresh air.Change is in the air!Well,for starters,let's talk a bit about this Christmas Eve,shall we?This year,I have a totally different kind of Christmas.

For the past few years, I have been spending Christmas alone,and spending it like every other normal day.This year,however is different.It is unique in the sense that I get to spend it with friends and enjoy it thoroughly in festive mood.

The festive mood,the constant deafening noise made by all of us,a 7-seater viva,going out to internet cafes at 2 a.m in the morning,ps2 on fire and a plenty of fun.Now,thats what I call a joyful Christmas.

I finally get to savour the taste of happiness after so long.However,something is quite amiss I guess.Yeah,the heart-to-heart talk.Haha, nevertheless, it was still very fun.Albeit ,it could be funner and better if the others manage to stay over =(.

Imagine the nostalgia 50 years later when we think back about it.Those fun and crazy things we have done back in our youthful days.It will be real pleasure thinking about it.

Alright,now here comes the sad part.Every meeting will bound to lead to separation.The same goes to this party.All good things will eventually come to an end.This year marks the beginning of our separation.The next year,we will all walk our own separate path.

All I can do now is to hope and pray that our paths will cross once more again in the near future.I truly hope this friendship that have been established will last long,preferably forever.Nevertheless,life just have to move on.

So,thank you guys for the memories.This is truly a mirthful Christmas to me.Hope it will be the same for the others too.Happy Xmas ! =D

17 years old.

For some of you out there,today,might be just an ordinary day,a mundane day filled with nondescript routines that have been repeating itself over and over again,or it might be a day filled with exciting activities and exhilarating adventure that awaits you.

However,for me,today is a rather special day.An unique day that signifies something important in my life.A representation of life's aging cycle.Yes,like everyone else,people ages,so do I.Today,is my 17th birthday.A mark that I have reached yet another point of life where things will begin to change.

Now that I am 17 years old...
-I am older by another year
-I am beginning to enter the " real world"
-I am beginning to care about my future.
-I have learned that people will change ,with the flow of time albeit indefinitely.
-I have learned to differentiate friends and foes
-I have learned that anger is something scary,and if one is able to control it,quality of life would definitely improves dramatically.
-I have learned that if one steps out from his comfort zone,there will be countless opportunities awaiting him everywhere.
-I have learned that mere words without actions are futile and practically meaningless.
-I have learned that one needs to take a subtle yet pragmatic approach towards life in order to live a better life.
-I have learned that one should not ever judge another person by his/her appearance as they may prove to be deceptive.
-I have learned that beauty lies in the eye of the beholder.

=> I have learned that opportunities can be loss as easily as they can be gain.
=> I have learned that friends will eventually go separate ways as time proceed.
=> I have learned that human's emotion are best not to be tampered with,as they can cost great loss and destructions.
=> I have learned that things do not always go my way.Sometimes,one need to accept whatever mistakes that have been done and let it go just like that.
=> I have learned that time is too precious to be wasted just like that.
=> I have learned that I have been missing much of what life can offer simply because I lack strength,intelligent and effort.

Thinking back,it has been a long 16 years isn't it?This year has been a year full of ravaging feelings,an emotional roller coaster experience through out the whole year.Many have changed and yet many have remained the same.

Ironically,for the past 5 years being in school,I have been complaining and grumbling endlessly about how bad it is being in school and studying just for the sake of getting A and yet now,I am recapping and reminiscing about how wonderful school life is,without much worries and stresses,being with friends,enjoying myself everyday.

Life itself is a big Pandora's box isn't it?Troubles come at the moment when you least expected them,so does happiness and joy.It has been a great year this year.While I am still longing for the yesteryear's sweet and sour memories,I have to face the cruel fact.The bitter reality that life have to go on,and we have to move forward.

Gone are the days of yesteryear,living life without much worries,where everyday is just another fun day filled with mysteries and unknown adventures waiting for us to explore.As I stared back down the memory lane,I realised things didn't really change that much.The only one that is changing is you and me.Humans change.Thats all.Not that it can be helped either.

Now,I should just turn back and move forward,the way it is supposed to be.Ahead of me lies countless adventures and infinite possibilities.What is going to happen next depends solely on my effort.It would take a miracle to carve a perfect future.And for that miracle to happen,I need change.

It is the time now.Time for change.Time for me to decide.Let's go.Let's keep the flame of passion and the bright future keep on burning.Hang on there,buddy =D.

A matter of choice.

The birds were chirping,as if they were singing to a song,welcoming us with such a melodious tune.The picture perfect sceneries, were simply spectacular and astounding,almost glowing with a certain aura that would blind our eyes.And the weather.... ar.... not too hot or cold.The perfect weather for hiking ....Is it? NO!!!!

Those were what I had in mind before planning to hike Penang Hill.However,reality was far too cruel than fantasy.The deafening barking sound of dogs ,the danger of monkeys lurking everywhere,and the scorching heat from the sun...Awhh.. it is almost like living hell up there.The sceneries though was rather ok.

With several friends,7 to be exact ( excluding me ),we conquered Penang Hill.In those 3 excruciating hours,we experienced pain,heat,fatigue,and thirst.However,on the good side,we did experience joy,sweetness and a sense of accomplishment too.The journey itself was very exhilarating adventure.

Breaking away from the hustle and bustle of the city, a retreat to find happiness and peace in Penang Hill certainly is a welcoming experience.Upon reaching the top of Penang Hill,I felt like the lethargic and fatigue me just vanished into thin air.The majestic view itself was worth the effort already,coupled with the windy,chilling breeze up there,one would definitely be able to forget all the problems and troubles in city.

All this while , I have been living in the concrete jungle,stuffing myself up with all the stresses and problems.I had little chance to relax at all.In addition,when an opportunity arises and I was asked to go out, I declined it,citing various excuses and reasons.

This ought to stop.Today,I learned that by stepping out from my comfort zone,I actually can discover a whole new whole,and the benefits too , are boundless.Heck,I even met some good new friends.So,sure,why not?Next time,when anyone wanna go out, do call me =D .If it is possible, definitely I will go ! ( given that it doesn't require a lot of money,and not under some circumstances )

"When you say no,you say no to life.You must stop.You are not living at all.When an opportunity presents itself to you,you must say.. YES! YES ! YES!YES !!"

Familiar with the quote above?Yeah,that quote was from Yes Man,the latest comedy show starring Jim Carrey.It is definitely a nice show that carries an inspiring messag (sort of).I do guarantee that you will end up laughing out from the cinema if you watch it.

So,well thats all for now folks.Thanks again to my fellow friends for accompanying me today to conquer Penang Hill.We did it!!!

Time to change

Ah... yeah, today is yet another fun-filled day that will bring me endless joy and happiness until I can't wait till the next tomorrow... Wait.. or is it ?

Nawh,as much as I would like to deny it, the days after examination isn't really all sweet and fun-filled.In fact,it was rather in contrary of what I had imagined earlier.Being on cloud nine, enjoying every minutes of my supposed holiday, yeah.. you get the ideas, those happy life that I had imagined.They never did arrived.

Insted,all I got was a lousy holiday filled with uncertainties and unfulfilled promises.Citing indifference,everyday was almost the same.Sitting on the chair,facing the dull monitor,picking up the monotonous sound from the ticking clock,everyday is just about the same.This nondescript pattern repeats itself over and over again till everyday is mere passing days to me.

In fact,I almost nearly forget who I really am.Am I still a human? Or am i living my day off as a living zombie?Every morning , I wake up with a pessimistic attitude ,knowing that it will be another mundane day passing by.

This is different.Totally different.I still remember how I used to wake up with anxiety and nervousness,knowing that it will be a new day that will present me with new challenges and exciting things to do.I used to have that sleepless nights pondering and wondering over the same thing over and over again before I finally fell asleep smiling.

Now,I have to wept myself to sleep everynight,knowing that I will no longer be able to return to the momentous,bittersweet past.Those days that I would really be able to smile truthfully,without having to put on any poker face and pretend to be happy.Those happy memories that will only continue to exist as memory and nothing else.

Time will move on,and these petal of memories will eventually fall off.So,what can we do?Cry and lament about it? Or move on towards a better future?

Now, I am currently having stars above my head as how to decide for the path ahead of me.Future ... is complicated.Which career should I consider?In what aspects should I consider?What are my long term assets and loss?There are uncountable roads lying ahead of me,which one should I choose?

It is time... finally time for me to step out from my comfort zone and decide it for myself.Finally,time to change.Give me some guidance please.No matter what I choose, I hope everything will be well for me and you.. =D.

Sealed Fate

After much pondering and wondering upon the future,in the very end , I didn't even get a say about it.So,really,what is the point?When everything has already been decided earlier... much earlier,who am I to oppose the predestined rules?Destiny is something that has been decided way before we are born.Fate,is something we are born with.Now,remind me which idiot told me that one can oppose destiny again?

Frankly,i don't believe in miracles.Those coincidences or seemingly lucky miracles that happens when we are facing troubles?Those are mere drama tools.Things that only worked like a charm in fantasy.This is the real world,the cruel reality.Thing's don't happen the same way they do in fantasy here.Life is much harder and complicated.

If we really get to change our destiny or even choose our own fate ,why are there poor and rich people?Why are there stupid and clever people?Worse yet,why are there people with fame,power and fortune and on the contrary, there are people struck with poverty,social outcasts,and people with nothing at all.

Admit it,life is just that unfair.Nothing is fair and square here.No matter how tight the rules are,there will still be loopholes and people that have connections will be capable of exploiting those loopholes and escape the justice of law.No matter how hard you try to climb up the ladder of success, eventually there will be some places that you can't reach,simply because you are not destined to do it.

And by destiny, I meant luck.Some people are born lucky,born into a high-profile family , with plenty of connections and most importantly, possessing a large amount of fortune.As much as one would like to deny it, the reality now is that in this world of materialism,nearly everything revolves around money.The clothes you are wearing now, the house you are living in, the car, the education fees, all is about money.

So,really,monetary gain is very important,almost vital for survival.The law of jungle still applies here,though the test for survival of the fittest in this concrete jungle we are living in is being done in such a way that having money means having strength,power and fame.So,literally, the one that have the most money will be the king.

For those who are born with a silver spoon, consider yourself lucky as you have the privilege of being rich and have more control in your life.Appreciate and cherish it,instead of taking it for granted.Live a frugal lifestyle and spend less.You will never know how worth is every penny unless you earn it , the hard way.

Life is truly an unpredictable journey.You can't predict the roads ahead you, nor can you control it.So,why not live life to the fullest?Since you won't know anything that lies ahead in your future,might as well surrender your fate and let the future flow in smoothly by itself.Just welcome it with open arms and be prepared to face anything that is coming this way.Just smile
and let the wheel of destiny start spinning = ].

*Overall,the author is just musing and ranting out his childish thoughts as he is throwing tantrums right now.Because of having his desired road taken away,and the need to follow a path less taken, he is currently having emotional turbulence and can't get his minds straight.This is just a random thought of him,so let's not take it too seriously,shall we? =D

Storms Ahead

" Staring blankly towards the empty space, a plethora of thoughts crossed my mind.I see nothing but dark clouds that lies ahead.Tsk,premonition...and a bad one too.And so,as my eyes remain fixed on the blank,empty space, my ears began to pick up some familiar sound Ah,..it's those monotonous ticking sound of the clock again.. "

Time flies..Hmm, that's what I would say for the present days and perhaps days that lies ahead too.They say,time flies when we are enjoying ourselves.Well,that is true... to a certain degree maybe.It is true alright?but it is half-true.The other half being time flies when you are not having fun too.

The best example would be what I am having now.So,spm is over.Now what?The days after spm just seems more meaningless than ever.Somehow,the burdens and stresses just seems to multiply instantly after spm.

As of a week ago,after spm, I was facing a rather big dilemma deciding my future.Sure,being an average normal teen that just finishes spm, one of the major examination, I should be happy,experiencing total freedom and all but no.

I realise that the onus is on me, not as a student,but as an individual, to finally have a say in deciding my future.It is this time now, where the inexperiences and lack of knowledge starting to surge in .It is this time now,that those petty things that I have neglected past the years starting to show their fangs, creeping slowly to my future paths,affecting them heavily.

Ah, there it goes again,Just when I think things won't get any worst,you just have to prove me wrong ,don't ya ?Bad things just come rolling in , over and over again.The streaks of bad luck just doesn't end, doesn't it ?And somehow my premonition tell me it will get worse.

But then again, perhaps,facing it with my current pessimistic mindset won't do me any good,will it ?Nevertheless,will a change of mind help?Perhaps, a little.Whatever happens to my hopeful and optimistic side of mine be4 spm ?Whatever happens to the plans I had?

I wonder.Alright,enough of over depression and pessimism shall we?Let's look at the bright side.Now,I can't say for sure how my life is going.But at the very least,I know it isn't unproductive.Eventhough I can't say I am enjoying life,but I dare say I am not hating it either.

And no matter how I struggle to restrain my thoughts and to go back to past,time will continue moving and the problems will come sooner or later right?So,why not face it now.As I did promise last time,whatever trials and tribulations that may lie ahead,I shall face it with courage.Sigh,so how can I be reluctant now?Be is storms or tornado that lies ahead, bring them forth.I shall not run anymore.Come what may.I just wish that after this , I can finally see sunshine. = D

His-Story

December,1991,it was one of those auspicious days in his life....
No,it was neither the discovery of computer,nor was it the eruption of world war.To the rest of the world,it might be just another mundane day, but to him,that day was particularly a significant one.On that day,a new life was born.A pure,innocent baby was exposed to this world's rat race and for the first time ever,he experienced light shining upon his face and wind sweeping through his body.For the very first time too,he saw images,heard sounds, and get a sense of perception of the world.Albeit,at that time, he knew nothing of the world's treachery,mystery,secrets and what the lies ahead for him.But sure enough, he don't have a single bit of care in this world too.There was no problems, troubles and much less a single dilemma for him to think about.He was pampered and treated as the king, getting every attention where ever he goes.

But sadly, good times do not last long.Time passes,and soon he was sent flying to Australia with family at the age of 3.Living there for quite some time,he learned how the Aussies live and learned to adapt to the cold weather there.It wasn't long before he made some friends and started mixing around with people there.In the end,after a few years or so living there,the parents decided to bring him back to Malaysia,his hometown. Yes,it was supposed to be a year full with bittersweet memories and joyous things but somehow, the little guy bear no traces of memories regarding that particular years.

Time flies...
So, he ended up being in some small primary school,SRK Padang Tembak,just a small , not very popular school near rifle range...Having spent 6 years of primary education there,he learned quite a excitements of life from there.During the last few years of primary educations,the hormones start to kick in and he began to have pangs of interest towards the opposite gender.Albeit it was nothing more than a spur of moment puppy love that does not last long.Plus,it was one-sided entirely =D.So,that was his first encounter with the passionate yet addictive magic of love.

Again,time flies by,and soon enough the little guy finds himself studying in free school, the then
"prestigious" school.Sure enough,entering the school hailed by others as hallmarks of excellence and only for the best, the guy was thrilled with excitement and shaking with anxiety.The weeks that lies ahead only set his heart ablaze with the principal's eloquence,by his improbable admission into this school and the unexpected new life in the secondary school.The flame of passion began to burn and he continues to have high hopes in his secondary life.The euphoria was unspeakable.

Nevertheless,as he began to carve his path to future, he slowly began to realise it.The school wasn't so good after all.All those exaggerations, all those hyperbolas, they are all nothing but a disguise to the school's true image.And so , slowly losing faith to the school , he continues walking forward.For 3 years, he had been wasting his time doing pointless activities and pure nonsense.When he went in form 4,things does not get any better either.And so it continue till form 5.In form 5,he was told that this is the time to work harder,this is the time to start churning out all those efforts and perseverance.But he digressed.... He is still with his carefree and laidback attitude.

Finally,in the near end of Form 5,he was forced to deal with a major obstacle,SPM..The one thing that might change his life forever.

***

And now it's over.He's still alive and kicking.Though,the intimidating experience was over,now he is in even a bigger dilemma, the choice of his future,one of the biggest decision in his life will be in his hand now.Which road should he take?And will it be the correct path?I wonder.Nonetheless,what matters now is to cherish the present moment.He have been missing too much of the precious time.Now , is finally the time to really treasure and use his time wisely.
The perfect storm that governs the year 2008 is finally going to be over and a new dawn shall arrive silently.It has been quite a wild ride, a ride full with emotional roller coaster and turmoi.Whatever leftovers in the pre-2008 year should be forsaken.Now is the time for change.

And change... as the Noughties have shown, can be quite a ride =D.

The Truth About SPM

As of now, I am currently going through living hell,struggling under tremendous pressure and stress,trying to prepare and hopefully predict whatever that will come out for the examination the next day.Nonetheless,no matter how one would try to put it,no one can deny that Ass-Pee-M/Seksaan Pembawa Maut/Certificate of Malaysian Education/Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia (SPM) is one heck of a troublemaker.

I am sure that many that has already went through this disastrous exam would definitely agree with me.SPM is one of the lousiest examination for intelligence benchmark ever.Seriously.I mean,after 2 years of studying ,and in the very last examination that was supposed test everything you have learnt in the past 2 years, the questions that came out only tests you about 30% from text book and the rest 70% were no where to be seen?

Oh well,200+ pages from books,all that just to sit for a 20 + pages SPM paper.Ironic huh?And it certainly doesn't help to improve the reputation for spm when there are numerous tuition centres offering nonsense such as exam-oriented modules,100% real spm tips, and much more craps like that.

Seriously,"exam oriented modules" ? Oh wow, so thats it.The truth.Study just to get A.Nothing more than that.Isn't learning suppose to be a lifelong process?Aren't we suppose to study just to get the knowledge?Instead of struggling to get tips and having an exam oriented tuition, why can't we just study for the sake of learning?Tsk, with our current education system, I doubt that we would be able to do that.A's are the only target.Those with most A's in their certificate will be the king,while others... will be victims of this examination.

Sigh,despite all that,I can't help but to feel relief that my spm is coming to an end.Despite all those bad facts I said about spm, I still hope for the very best for my results and for everyone else's result too.Good Luck. and hopefully any government official who see this will be able to give good results for spm students especially the one in penang ?:P (Pss You Give us good spm result,we give u our votes in next election,ok?=D ) Alright,Good Luck for all spm candidates! 4 down, 6 more subjects to go !

Aspects of Life

" If you were asked to rank family,friendship,education,career,and relationship,how
would you rank them?"

Just a moment ago, I was looking for good,thought-provoking materials to read again.Once more,Matthew's blog does not fail to amaze me with his thought-provoking entries.His latest entry,5 Aspects of life got me thinking again.You can find his original post here.Upon reading it,I felt that there is a need to come up with my own arrangement and rankings of several aspects of life and elaborate on them.

First of all,
1) Family
=>Well, undeniably family should be the top priority for everyone.After all,your parents were the one that brought you to this very world,and as much as I hate it, your sisters and brothers are the one that have the same blood running down your vein.Although there might be some disagreement at times, in the end of the day,I am still a part of my family and I will always put them above everything else.Although my parents could not satisfy my every desire,but I do know they try their best.Thus,I genuinely care for them,as much as they care for me too.Without them, I couldn't possibly be blogging here today =D.

2) Friends
=>Friends,they are also one of the most important aspect of my life, second only to family =D.I really do value my friendship with my friends.Needless to say,without friends,one would live a meaningless,lonely life.Friends are whom you can share your joy,happiness,sorrow and other emotions with.Friends are whom you can readily confide all your problems to.Friendship, a window to a man's soul =D.I do realize that the fact is, as we grow older, our circle of friends will eventually grow smaller.However,that does not prevent one from getting more friends and staying in contact with old friends right?I just want to say,to those that I am always talking to, to those that I am still in contact with,and even to those that I met only once or twice,even though the flow of time will eventually separates us,even though our memories might fade,but, the next time we cross our path, I would definitely say "Hi" ,as you will always be my friend,past,present or future! = D

3) Career
=>It is indeed a tough decision to make between career and education but I chose career over it.Why so?Well,I shall first elaborate on why career is that important.Living in the midst of poverty,having born into a middle-income family,I truly learned the importance of having money.No,I am not exactly the money-minded people that will use any means to get them but then again, I know, without having money, I will not be able to get anything at all.In this cruel,materialistic world,people have to participate in life's rat race to survive.So,this is the first importance of having a good career.Secondly,career might be defined as a job where we need to work relentlessly to earn money but to some lucky fellows, career is their way of living life to the fullest.No, I am not referring to those workaholics that work night and day just finding pleasure in working.I am referring to those dream jobs,the ones where you would be more than happy to do the works involved.Be it a pilot,a singer,a teacher,a dancer,or journalist,as long as you enjoy every second of it in your "job",that is your dream job =D.I would definitely be happy if I could have my dream job =D.

4) Education
=> Like I mentioned earlier,it is indeed a tough decision to choose in between career and education.If one were to rank education based on the education system now,which demands us ,students to get as many "A's" as you can just to go in good colleges,universities and so on, those are total rubbish I think.Our intelligence cannot be measured in simple means such as these "A's" and this statement is proved by many of world's success stories.Did you know that Bill Gates dropped out from Havard University ?:P So,it is clear that our results now does not really show our intelligence and our potential in the future ,yet we still need to strives for those "A's",just to lessen the worries of our parents and get a safe route to a good job.Though,in actual fact,education is a lifelong process.Every day, we learn and experiences new things.It is these knowledges that help us overcome hurdles in our future and live a better life.Frankly, I am still being quite indecisive about choosing career over education.However, I think that careers can co-exist with education too, as when we are working, we do learn new things too ,and that itself is education =D.

5) Relationship
As far as I am concerned, relationship isn't that much of an importance,not to me at the very least,not yet I guess .True,love is a wonderful thing and I do believe that everyone is destined to have one lifelong partner to be together ,living happily ever after with.I have yet to experience the magic of love yet ,and yes, of course I want to experience it.However,as for now, I truly believes that my current age is not the most suitable age to start a relationship and I doubt my true love will suddenly appear in front of me now also : P.Hence,relationship is ranked the last in my aspects of life.

Alright,since you have read until here,why don't you start blogging about your aspects of life too? Hehee, let this be some kind of tag.Those that read this, if you have time to do it, do blog about this, I am sure many of you are curious about how these aspects ranks in your heart too right?Do leave me a comment when you finish blogging about it.It will definitely be interesting to read it ^^].

28/10/08-A Day to Remember

Listening to :Always Online -JJ Lin
-Nice song,must listen !! XD

Did it ever occur to you that one day you wake up,thinking that you are late to school or late to do whatever things you are supposed to do,while in actual fact it is still very early?I did experience it for quite some few time and today,history seems to repeat itself again.The only difference is that today is not my schooling day and apparently I have nothing important to be done within the next few hours.

Today I awoke at 5 + a.m.Yes,I know many of you out there actually wake up earlier,everyday too but to me,this is my first time waking up so early on a non-schooling day and without the need of the alarm clock or even the awakening call (or yell) from my mom too =D.It all happen naturally.Needless to say,it was a completely surreal experience.The moment I woke up,I find myself oblivious to the surrounding,struggling just to get back to sleep.Then after a few times of rolling back and forth in my bed,it is apparent that my attempt to get back to my sweet dream world was futile.

So,still lying on my bed,I started to think.What in the world that made me wake up so early today?Well,nothing unusual yesterday,except the fact that I slept at 10 + p.m.Ah,must be all those nights of sleeping late that must be causing this.Maybe this is similar to oxygen debt.Maybe humans do have "sleep debt" too.Or perhaps the emotional turmoil within me yesterday was the cause of this event?Nevertheless,whatever is the cause of this,I am just glad that it happened.

Thanks to it,now I have got a few hours left till my normal routine.(I used to wake up at 11+ most of the time)Well,of course it is time to do something productive.This is such a rare experience and you expect me to be wasting time by sleeping and doing something pointless again?No way.No more succumbing to temptation and useless desires.No more thinking about petty things and doing unnecessary stuffs.Time to get down to business =D.

Thoughts

As the day passed by silently, and the day of the doom is approaching,I can't help but to feel anxious and scared.Truth to be told, I want to relax, I want to be carefree,I want to just lay back and don't give a single damn about this coming examination.Hey,wait a minute.Actually I can.Well,the final decision is up to me after all.I am the one who directs my brain to think and my muscles to move.I am the one that can choose to relax or to study under stress.So,why do I have to choose the bitter,latter choice?

That is the question I always posed to myself whenever I was down and do not have the mood to study.Given a choice , I am pretty sure most people would choose the premier choice of relaxing,sleeping and being in a cheerful and laid back attitude as time passes.I mean, why the heck would one like to plunge himself/herself under books and exercises with prodigious stress?Then again, every action must bear some consequences and there must be reasons supporting those actions.

So,if I were to just look a little closer to the choices, what will I discover?Lets see,if I were to choose to relax , then definitely I would be in much happier mood,and time shall passes very quickly and then YEEE HAAA,time for real entertainment with friends =D.But then again, the consequences? FAIL..Yes,that would probably be the examination result if I keep on slacking.Thinking about this result really sends a chill down my spine.I hate failures.I really hate them.Failures are the most tormenting and depressing thing that could ever happen to anyone.Or at least that is what I thought.

Through some horoscope readings, I have been informed that I have a tendency to be dominating,in whatever I am involved in.I couldn't agree more on this.I really have the desire to surpass others and win them in whatever I am involved in.However,in academics, I am just not the studious type.I couldn't even touch the borderline of their high standards,much less compete with them.Why is this so?Sure,being a lazy and evasive student,I can probably give many excuses and reasons regarding my performance (e.g lack of time , not conducive environment ,naturally stupid and etc etc )but deep down, I know that the very reason for my bad performance , is simply because I am lazy.Actually, I think everyone is naturally smart,and was given the same amount of intelligence and time.It is just the environment, and one's attitude that make the difference.

If one is willing to learn, and provided the teachers are good and a conducive environment is provided,I don't see why he/she can't be a genius?That being said,if anyone is willing to put in effort and have an unwavering determination,definitely he/she would be able to excel in whatever he/she is doing.So,that means I have to cope with those reference books and exercises just a bit longer huh ?Even though, I do not have passion for it,I still have to study it,just for the sake of getting an A.See how ridiculous is the educational system in M'sia now?Frankly, if I could, I would just go straight to the course I love and pursue my interest.That would be more meaningful and definitely I would be able to "study" it happily.Life will be a lot easier if the subject you are studying is the subject that you loves.

Oh well,enough with all these rantings,not like these few rants of mine will change the educational system in this country(At least not in this few years I guess).Now,back to my conflicting mind.So, in the end ,rather than relaxing under the sunlight, entertaining myself with some dramas or movies, I have to immerse myself in those thick and heavy "educational" and academic books,huh?Well,if that's what I have to do in order to score,so be it.After all,in about two months time,it will all come to an end.

On a totally unrelated note, I have just gotten the result of my ICAS English test result.I was quite shocked by the result.Well,frankly, I dunno whether or not I actually deserve the result as I see there are many others that I felt should get better results.Somehow, I am still quite dissatisfied as upon reviewing the paper,I am quite frustrated at some silly mistakes here and there.If I did rectify those mistakes, I could have gotten a better result or even a higher grade.But,in the end,this has already passed,and after all,there are some questions that I actually got correct due to pure luck.So,I guess it is quite balanced =D.Besides,this paper did benefit me in one way or another.So,thats it for today.Off I go to immerse myself in books again.Oh,btw,to those suffering the same fate as me to face SPM in the next few weeks,good luck =D You are not alone !

Good Luck.

Listening to : 一路向北 ( Yi Lu Xiang Bei ) by Jay Chou

As major examinations are approaching for nearly all the students around my age and other students too will be having their important final examinations, I would like wish you all, everyone,Good Luck!!!May you all excel in your examination and get desired results.


*******
Alright,now back to my personal life.Today,I discovered a very interesting piece of video in youtube.It is this video, that completely change my moods and somehow touched my feelings.Yeah,perhaps I was being too sensitive( and was exaggerating too much ) but that aside, this video is really amazing and is definitely a must watch for musical fans that demands nice covers of songs.Apparently this video is a video montage made by some guys in Ngee Ann Poly in singapore which features their cover version of jay chou's 一路向北 ( Yi Lu Xiang Bei )[ Trust me,its nice especially near the end.The vocallist's voice is definitely amazing ].Apart from that,their way of presenting the video is also interesting.I mean, it would definitely be nice if we were to do some video montage of some important events in our life or the experiences we had in school or college and to view it later when we are older.That would definitely bring backs the nostalgic feeling of what we are doing in the past.

I really hoped next time, I would have a chance to do this type of video too.. with friends and all.. that would definitely be nice =D.Oh yeah, today I watched the MV of 稻香 ( Dao Xiang ) from Jay Chou's new album also.Again,needless to say,another great masterpiece from a talented artist.Jay Chou's unconventional and creative song theme is once again being demonstrated in his new single,as he discussed the life of poverty and how we should strives to be happy even we are poor.Simply amazing! How many artists in the music industry nowadays can take such approach to discuss one of the most important aspect of our life and yet still presents a loveable piece of music?

Upon watching that MV, I was taken aback by the simplicity and the soft tune of that song,and yet when I looked at the lyrics,it is complex and meaningful.True enough, in this hectic world we are living in right now, most of us are ignorant.Ignorant to the people around us, ignorant to the life we are living... and ignorant towards the life of others.This MV shows us, just how meaningful and important it is, to just take a minute, to sit down, to relax ,and just see the world at it's simplest form.No stresses, no rushes and no more those hustles and bustles from work.Just relax and smile, reminiscing those happy and bittersweet moments in your life,reflecting all those that you had done and move forward again with a new passion .If one could just do that everyday, then definitely one would lead a better and happier life.So,smile =D and let others smile back at you.




Ok,dream time's over,time to go back to bearing the responsibility of a student.Once more, good luck to those that are having examinations and for those who aren't having examinations, enjoy and have a good day =D.

Dreamer,once more.

Listening to : Gao Su Wo[告訴我] by Danson Tang Yu Zhe

" Chasing after endless dreams, only to find that it is impossible to achieve "

Ah..it has been a while since I last blogged here.Well,yeah , because there hasn't been anything interesting happening in my life lately ( or anytime soon),so that explains the lack of updates...As usual, nothing memorable,interesting, nice things happening.Why? This week is holiday right? And it is one week one too.So,why am I remain stuck at home for this few days ( and the days to come ) as if I am in prison?The reason is simple.... because the FREAKING SPM is approaching,FAST!I can almost see the ghostly image of the SPM examiner holding a death scythe coming to my table and say "Your biggest,most terrifying,hardest examination in your whole life starts NOW.",smiling cunningly in the process.

Alright,maybe I was exaggerating ,geez must be due to the influence of those comics and animes.Nawh,SPM is nothing, it is just some test that you will pass en route to college,university,whatever ,right?We should just face this with calm,laid-back attitude... just waiting for the time to come and pass, right ?

NOOOOOOOOOOOO.Crap you.No way am I facing this one with a laid-back and carefree attidude.I am gonna die if I do that.This is it... the moment I pumped in all my vigor and enthusiam.The moment I have to give in everything I have.... just to survive it.Sigh,looks like I will be in this prison, being a living zombie for the next few months .

Oh yeah,by the way, I changed the lay out because the images in the old layout had "expired".So,being a lazy guy I am, I decided to not reupload those images and just change the whole lay out again.Ironic huh ?

Alright,back to my thoughts.Yes,as the title of the post suggests, I am a dreamer,once more.Yeah,sure,dreamers are people that only dreams and never succeed in life.However,without dreams,can one even succeed in doing something?Every action behind it must be supported by some sort of reasons or dreams.It is because of this dreams that they,the rich and successful people envisioned when they were smaller, do they achived their current successes.For years, I had held the belief that this statement is true,that anyone with determination and efforts can make their dreams come true.But now,it seems that this belief of mine is gonna take a twist on the road.

I have many dreams.From amazing and realistic dreams to outrageously ridiculous and illogical dreams,I believe almost everyone around my age would have a lot of dreams too.I,for one had always been a big dreamer.Dreaming to be a actor,singer,graphic designer,movie director,software engineer and heck, even a superstar( I know,silly right?),I was never the type that gets satisfied with normal life.But how many of those dreams would actually come true when we grow up?Ask any successful adults now and I am pretty sure most of them will tell you " Actually,when I was young, I don't plan to involve myself in this kind of job, and I would probably never imagine myself working this job then"Yeah,this is the cruel reality,when we grow up, how many of our childhood dreams will still remain intact with us? Facing the materialistic and harsh world, would we still be able to stand firm and hold our dreams tightly?Even if we does believe in it, will our dreams really become true?

Yes,this is the dilemma I am currently facing now,to keep on believeing in some dreams that aref fading away now, or to let go of them ?I was a dreamer who believed every dreams could be realised with proper determination and efforts by oneself.However,as I continue growing up,the belief I had was slowly fading.Until finally it came to a halt.Enough,I can't deny the truth anymore.The truth is, not every dreams can become true.Dreams,require the proper skills,correct people,pure luck and right timing to realise.Dreams don't just happen because we want it.That would be a miracle,not a dream anymore.As I came to realise that harsh truth,it shattered myself.Knowing that some of the dreams I have been keeping for years are nothing but mere unachiveable illusions, tears almost came rolling down my cheeks.

Isn't it depressing?Knowing that there is something that you have so much passion and interest in ,but unable to indulge in that field and achieve success in it ?That is my current emotion now.For the past few days, I have been riding an emotional roller coaster due to this dilemma.But,enough is enough.It is time to put a stop on this topic.Dreams are meant to be pursued.As a man, I can't forsake those dreams that I am willing to sacrifice anything for.Yes,they are worth it.I might not possess the proper talents for it,I might not be lucky...and I might never be the person for it,but forget that,I shall never give up pursuing those dreams...Yes,call me silly, naieve , or even immature.But with efforts and determination, I shall compensate for my lack of talent... and ultimately reaching my dreams.So shall it be,I will be a dreamer once more.

Memories.

Oh wow, Just in a blink of an eye,today is already 20th of September, and I still remember the day that I complained time is moving way too slow.How unbelievable,3 months ago I was complaining that there were still a long time to go for SPM, and just in a nick of time, here I am , having just merely one more month or so.Truth to be told, I ain't satisfied.Not with my recent poor performance in academical studies and future plans.And I am still unprepared yet.

However, I am glad. Glad that time is moving fast. Glad that it is finally coming to an end.And after this storm, there shall be a peaceful dawn.Or so I hoped.Yesterday night,I was struck dumbfounded with a nice instrumental song.This is the song , called " Get Over (Instrumental ) -Dream ) " What a soft,nice and melodious song.. It has been a while since I get to listen to this kind of song.

Now,I am still listening to that song.It is of no secret that I am fan for this genre of song,which is soft,ballad-like genre.It truly connects with my heart in some way and makes me recollect my fond memories.So,just sitting down,listening to it and feeling the gentle breeze of wind shoving pass your face isn't that bad of experience after all.To some extend, it makes me recall what I have done over the past few years and how much I have grown.

Sadly,I must say, nothing barely change over the past few years.True,I might still be the little immature kid I once were,but I think I did be able to instill some logics and rationale in my thinking as compared to my thoughtless self last time.I became more aware of my appearance,my desires, my thoughts and more importantly my future.But there are also things that remained unchanged.My attention-seeking personality, my thoughtless speech,my lazy attitude... and of course my childish self remains largely unchanged.

When just recalling of all the past events, I became quite mad at myself.Why did I do that at that moment?There are a lot of moments that I simply hates and wish I could think first before doing such ridiculous actions.There are embarrassing moments, sad moments, hurtful moments,and other simply stupid moments where I am being ridiculous.I hate myself for being lazy,I hate myself for doing stupid things,and more importantly I hate myself when I meant well,but accidentally hurting others.

Still,no matter what it is, no matter what happened , they are already the past.No matter how hard I try to change or erase them,those fond moments will always be part and parcel of my life.Of course,there are sweet memories too.Now, I would just like to say, to those that I met in msn or real life, to those that I had always chat with or others which I simply says hi and the conversation ends, to those that I adored and loved, to those that I hated and despised, to those that I confided in, to all those friends and people that I talked to even just for once,no matter who you are, You have definitely affected my life in one way or another.

As such, I hereby offers my sincerest thanks for all that you have done.Without you all, my life would simply be an empty hole, nothing but a formless void.Again, Thank you.I would deeply cherish this memories that you had gave me forever and ever . I wish you all good luck in your life.

(The last two paragraphs are influenced by this post ) XD

Past,present and future.

Finally, a day rest.. Well, technically , 2morrow is supposed to be a day off for all the students.Somehow,I just can't help but to feel that it will be another hectic day demanding for more studies and efforts to be poured in.I don't have the right to say tat actually.How stupid am I to just realise tat mere reading won't get you the desired results.I lack exercises.... Sure,I learnt my lesson,but the price to pay for that is a high one...

Yesterday,yesterday and yesterday,
I live,
Not knowing what will happen next,
Not knowing what to do,
Just blindly continue living.
As the course of time began to shift,
People began to change,
Memories began to fade,
Friends became enemies,
Love became hatred,
At the end of the day,
Only remnants of memories remained.

Today,
I live,
In the so-called-bittersweet present,
Living in a life of denial,
Keep on denying the fact that the past has gone.
Living in the shadow of yesterday,
I regretted and remorsed,
For not cherishing my past,
For taking things for granted,
For not savouring every moment of my life now,
At the end of the day,
The feelings disappeared,
Only to have history repeats it self,
Once more...

Tomorrow,tomorrow and tomorrow,
Life's but an endless test,
Repeating itself over and over again,
Though time may change,
And memories may fade,
But till time invites me to a dusty death,
Shall I continue living,
Thinking about you,
Cherishing the beautiful memories we once shared,
And treasuring the bonds between us.

Exam.

I skipped tuition, knowing that there won't be anything useful for me to learn and I will be just wasting my time there.I rather stay at home and revise by myself.2morrow is the day , one of my major exams.But still ,nothing much I suppose.Thinking back,3 years after this, will I still be having any concern for this exam thingy?How far will it affect my life?After all, our whole life is a never-ending exam.So,why the fear for exam?Still,I suppose,like any other normal 17 year old teenager should be doing, I should be worrying about it.It does play a role in my college entry after all.I must say,I am definitely not fully prepared yet.

Actually, exam is nothing but a trick.A clever trick devised to fool the entire community of students, and there are plot holes everywhere to score an exam.For instances, one may cheat by various means ( e.g putting books in toilet, referring to them in certain way, copy friends ) But of course , I am not encouraging that way or using them either.For a normal,hardworking A1 student,exam means it is time to bury yourself with endless facts , biographies,definitions and everything else in the book.However,if we were to look at it from the other side, we would discover that it really isn't a test to memorize and understand the whole thing.It is just a gimmick , a trick , like I mentioned earlier.One can actually do well in exam even though he/she doesn't study all the facts in the book.How?

Well,think of it this way.Lets say there are approximately 200+ pages in a reference book,but in the exam, there will always be only a few pages, only around 5-10 pages ,right?So,get my point ?This is the true definition of "study smart ,not study hard".Just study whatever that is coming out.Still, it is easier to say than to be done.One can employ several means to get the scope of the questions. Asking your teachers for example, could be a big help.( If your teachers are friendly that is ...) One can even try to predict what is coming out and simply memorize that certain part.( This, one needs to have some certain sixth sense to be able to do it.Apparently some of my friend DOES have this sixth sense lol)

Actually,it is not that hard to predict what is coming out judging on the rationale and logic of the subject.But still,this is sort of a risky gamble.Either you win all, or you lose it all.And the percentage of losing all is rather high.So, it comes down to these two options.Either you study like hell , or predict and study only those that you think will come out.Sure, the first option is definitely better, but if you are lack of time, which do you think would be better?I chose the middle path, a bit of this and that.Lets see how I will fare in my exam.

Today, I came across a rather interesting quote from a drama (Step of Dance , 8tv 7.00 p.m) that is "If you got problems , you must let it out, find someone to share it with.Happiness will only be doubled when you got someone to share it with, sadness will only be reduced if you got someone to listen to it " .True I guess...Though, I would rather be happier being a listener than doing the contrary.

This evening,I suddenly have a spur of desire to check out one of shakespeare's famous poem,Sonnet 18 and another one entitled Life Brief's Candle.Funny, why does it always seem that I am always late in admiring works of others?Anyway,it is simply entrancing.The poem,especially Life Brief's Candle is so true to it's meaning.Just take a look at it.

"   Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow,
 Creeps in this petty pace from day to day
 To the last syllable of recorded time,
 And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
 The way to dusty death.  Out, out, brief candle!
 Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
 That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
 And then is heard no more; it is a tale
 Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
 Signifying nothing.

"
It just reminds me of how short life is.One moment you might be having the happiest moment of your life and what did you know, it all turned into chaos in a split second.Life is short,enjoy it.

So,2morrow is my exam.That marks 3 weeks to suffer before it ends.So,be it.I shall endure,I shall persevere, and somehow, I shall gain happiness.Good luck to others too!!!

Tagged...

When one study till extreme conditions,one need to take a break.
When one take a break, one will go blogging...
And when one go blogging and see other ppl tagging you,
One need to do the tagging!

Alright,skip the lameness. I just got tagged by kai chia ,and in this moment of boringness , I decided to do the tag since there is practically nothing interesting to be done.

Rules:
1. The rules of the game get posted at the beginning
2. Each player answers the questions about themselves
3. At the end of the post the player then tags 5 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves a comment, letting them know they got tagged and to ask them to play and read your blog

Starting time: 2355
Name: zen
Sisters: 1
Brothers: 0
Shoe size: Dunno.
Height: Dunno cm
Where do you live: Penang Island.
Favourite drinks: Milo Ais
Favourite breakfast: Anything that makes me full.

Have you ever
Been on a plane: Yes,when I was in my mom's womb.
Swam in the ocean: No
Fallen asleep at school:Everytime
Broken someone's heart: No gua ,ppl break my heart got la .. lol
Fell off your chair: Dunno
Saved e-mails: Yeah,but for official club purposes only.
What is your room like: My room is ... like a room.
What's right beside you: Air
What is the last thing you ate: Bak Kut Teh.

Ever had
Chicken pox: Yes.
Sore throat: Yes.
Stitches: No
Broken nose:No

Do you
Believe in love at first sight: No, coz i never had one... YET !
Like picnics: With friends? Yes! With families and relatives?NO!

Who was / were the last person
You danced with: Myself
Last made you smile: The Joker . ( u know the one in batman movie? )

Today did you
Talk to someone you like: No
Kissed anyone: No.
Get sick: No.
Talk to an ex: I don't have ex =.-
Miss someone: No
Eat: What is this question ? Can someone don't eat for a day ? I know i can't!

Best feeling in the world
Do you sleep with stuffed animals: I don't have stuffed animals.

Random
Is there a person who is on your mind now: No
Do you have any siblings: Yes.
Do you want children: Yes.
Do you smile often: Depends.
Do you like your hand-writing: No.
Are your toe nails painted: No.
Whose bed other than yours would you rather sleep in:Hotel's King size master bed.
What color shirt are you wearing now: Red
What were you doing at 7:00 p.m. yesterday: Sleeping like always.
When did you cry last: 2 seconds ago. ( jz jk, I forgot )
Are you a friendly person: Depends.
Do you have any pets: No
Where is the person you have feelings for right now: How do i know? I am not a stalker.
Did you hold hands with the person who mean anything to you now: I hold hand with myself only. T_T
Do you sleep with the TV on: No
What are you doing right now: Doing this tag ?
Have you ever crawled through a window: No
Can you handle the truth: Sure,give me the biggest truth.
Are you too forgiving: Yea gua.
Are you closer to your mother or father: Mom
Who was the last person you cried in front of: Myself.
How many people can you say you've really loved: Dunno
Do you eat healthy: I eat to grow fat.
Do you still have pictures of you & your ex: I don't have an EX!!!! geez.
Have you ever cried because of something someone said to you: No
Are you loud or quiet most of the time: Depends.
Are you confident: Depends

5 things I was doing 10 years ago
1. sleep
2. breath
3. sit down on chair
4. standing
5. sleep

5 things on my to-do list today
1. Study
2. Study
3. Study.
4. Study
5. Stop saying study and actually go study right now.

5 snacks I enjoy
1. Mister Potato
2. McFlurry!
3. Keropok Ikan
4. Keropok Udang
5. Pringles.

5 things I would do if I were a billionaire [vision impossible lolx]
1. I will buy Malaysia and rule it.
2.Buy a lot of technological gadgets ( hi tech hp, com , stuffs like tat )
3. Buy a nice,big house,complete with swimming pool.gymnasium,spa and other exclusive features.
4. Donate to charity ( see I am a kind guy =D )
5. Learn all the skills. ( guitar,piano, vocal , play drum ,jap class,chinese class.. etc etc )

5 of my bad habits
1. MSN all the time.. ( though now i seem to hate it =.-)
2. Procrastinate to the max.
3. Lazy
4. Extreme mood swing.
5. Undecisive

5 places I have lived in
1. Malaysia
2. Australia
3. Penang
4. The White House.
5. George W Bush's house.( If you believe the last two location.....welll congrats u are a genius =D )

5 jobs I've had
1.Student
2.Student

5 people I tag
Whoever is reading this, I Tag you !

Time Management.

Awh, one more week till SPM Trials. =.-. Last minute preparation.Way to go.... lol..Hope I can make it. Good luck for others having the similar test.As exam is approaching , this will be a very short update only.What I wanna stress is... TIME management is damn important! Lack of it and you will end up stressing yourself,trying to be a lifeless zombie devouring all the facts in matter of days =.-. (much like wat i am doing now). Frankly, I think with proper time management, one can enjoy life even when major exam is approaching. Why didn't I publish this post sooner and remind myself of it I wonder? Again, Good luck to all!

Of Dependance and Reliance

How often do you think of this?When you have a choice, do you rely on others or do it yourself?I believe I did blogged about this last time before but I couldn't help to repost this entry again.Why?Well, there are always reason for my every actions.Yesterday night,something happened.Let's not stress on the detail,shall we? But all I can say is that some family problem occured.It is scary how alcoholism can turn one's life upside down.

Adults are idiots.Thats what I think.No, wait , I should specify it a little.Adults that don't know how to think are idiots.After all these years, can't they think a little?Think of their responsibility , think of their duty and think of other's future .Can't that be done?On usual time,their mind should be clear.Yet, with just a little sip of wine, their attitudes turned upside down.From a thoughtful,caring men to a fool,mindless monkey.All it takes is just a sip of wine and some smokes from cigarette.That is total bullshit.I despises them.I can't stand it.

That set me thinking again.Why? Why bother relying on others?After all, our reliance might be loss anytime.Worse yet, the trust and reliance we are placing on others might backfire and left nothing done for us.I have given up on hope.I guess, 3 months is just too short for anything to change.Let it be 3 years then.In 3 years time, I swear, I will be completely dependent on myself.Then,I will have no excuses or anyone to blame on anymore.

This few days are very gloomy days for me.Almost as if my whole life is turning their backs on me.But never mind. Who cares anyway.I shall persevere even if I am the only one left in my own world.Just you wait!!!

Mindless

As much as it pains me to say it, I have to admit one fact.I am always in constant mood swing.One moment you might see me smiling happily, the next you might see me being depressed,sulking in the corner.And this is what makes me very frustrated.I am frustrated with myself,with my ever changing mood that comes and go as freely as wind.I am annoyed too with my inability to complete tasks and assignments as promised,with my procrastination that never ever fails to amaze me every time I wanna do something,leading into an always incomplete work.And then there is this mindless,stupidity of mine to not be able to utilise and appreciate whatever I am having now and take things for granted.Yet, if I was asked to name one of my worst habit, it would be my inability to make choices,correct choices.

There are so many bad thing that I hate about myself that I sometimes would go crazy rambling over them.Yea,much like what I am doing now currently.I can't even comprehend this meaningless act of mine now.

Recently, it sets me thinking again.Some of my own friends claimed that my blog is too "wordy" and the presence of many words and less pictures has driven their interest away from viewing this blog.I don't blame them for that.They are teenagers.I just have to blame fate that I don't have enough "matured" friends that actually care to read it and understand it.I noticed that my age generation of blogger is quite few.Most of the bloggers are of age 20 and above,so maybe that explains why most teenagers my age could care less of reading blogs.Now,I could care less too as of who reads my blog.As I said earlier in my previous entries, my blog is just a place to vent out my thoughts, my convictions, my opinions and have others that perhaps might have similar thoughts could relate to it and discuss about it.But somehow, over the time , my writing style seems to deviate a bit from it's original purpose.

Yeah, there are a lot of blogging styles in this vast blogosphere.There are some embedded with sense of humour such as those like kennysia's, there are those thought-provoking writing style like Matthew-Zachary's blog.And there are those of teenagers style of bimbo blogs ( involves the blogger filling up their blogs with thousands of their own pics with diff styles ).As for me ,I personally prefer Matthew-Zachary's style of producing thought-provoking entries.That explains the lengthy entries sometimes.However,somehow,recently,my writing style seems to deviate from it's original intented to be thought-provoking style.Surely, I am hoping my blog would be as popular as one of the celebrity's blog mentioned above but yet if I were to accomplish it by copying other's ideas or changing my original writing style that I am comfortable with, I don't think it would be so much of a pleasant experience.

So, with that in mind, I have to apologize first.If you think this blog is too "wordy" and not worth reading, do please click on the close button [X] on top of your browser.No one is stopping you from leaving,alright ?Lastly, I would like to thank those readers that are willing to share a piece of your mind and relates your stories by leaving comments.Your opinions are really much appreciated,sincerely. =D

* A quick note to myself*
Indeed luck is something you can't control that will affect your life but more than often it is the decision making skills that counts in the end.Every time you wanna regret , think again, remember you HAD the choices,it is up to you whether to choose the devil or the angel.

Next Two Days.

Listening to :Fen Kai Yi Hou [分開以後 ]-Danson Tang Yu Zhe

There are two more days left till this holiday , oops i mean study break to end.Yes,those two days are 2morrow which is a Saturday , and Sunday.Two more days to go till this end.I swear I will definitely make good use of this two days. Let's compare what I have been doing today with what I will be doing 2morrow.

Today :
Woke up at 1 p.m. Read blogs, on9 a bit,read newspaper and spent the rest of the day hearing songs and banging my head to it.Well,as of normal day, this kind of activities being done should pose no problems at all.Sure,I mean,what's wrong with reading blogs ,newspapers and hear songs all day.Besides,reading newspaper is good right?And blogs too.All good stuffs right?True, nothing is wrong... but somehow I felt something is wrong.Something is missing.Oh yeah.....WHERE IS MY personal dosage of STUDYING and workouts?????And it doesn't help it that exam is coming Woo hoo!

I don't want to end up looking
Like that !!!

OR

Yeah , like this guy.You wanna know what he is thinking?Lemme tell u .He is thinking " Hu cares bout study, I just wanna bomb ur house tonite Muahahaz "

Oh well. Ok. So technically, all I did today was of no use.Or issit ? I reckon reading blogs and hearing songs are quite entertaining xD.Alright,now for my resolution for the next two days.

STUDY STUDY STUDY!!!!!!!!!!!!

For heaven sake, PLEASE STUDY HARD o' The super lazy pig zen (See my previous post for my piggy pic :P ) !!!!! I still wanna get 10A1's for SPM ok!

That's it.For the next two days,I am gonna be a .....

ROBOT! A lifeless,emotionless robot that only purpose of existence is to devour all those mind-blowing ,crazy, idiotic , stupid, useless facts in all the reference books.Good Bye my songs.Good Bye msn. Good Bye computer *sniffs*

See ya back in 2 days time!

Boleh-land¬

For this few days I have been slacking... A LOT seriously a lot. While people out there are busy studying and "pia-ing" their studies, I am ... erh.. erh... well practically doing nothing and waiting for my fat belly to grow fatter.What happened to my spirit to study a few days ago ?What happened to the pledges and swear that I would be a lifeless robot devouring any facts that was given to me? Oh well.. not now I guess.

Today, again , nothing pratical as usual. I end up reading kennysia and newspaper the whole day instead of the revision books.I missed out on my work out , I missed out on my studies and all I did was ........slacking like a pig!
ARGGG crap No!!! OMG &%$£ and it doesnt help that my SPM Trial is coming is around the corner.Come to think of it , I have missed blogging for at least two days.Geez... lets just say I might been having writer's block for this few days. Nothing on my mind. Empty.So, in desperation, I ended up doing nothing everyday. Sitting on my chair and staring at my blank monitor screen.

So,what has been happening eh?Nothing much has been happening in my life lately.No hang outs, no parties, nothing .Just me being locked in my house , and I think this will remain the same until after 3 months.So, folks, if you are looking for interesting stuffs to read.Fear not,our own Boleh-land got a lot of news =D.Example, Avril Lavigne's concert being banned ! o.O that just shows how open-minded and able to work with others our country is huh? Mind you, I don't have any grudges or hate my country But this sort of thing is just ..... stupid.Banning a superstar's concert to be held in Kl just because it nearly coincides with our National Day?Oh well... no comment d, if you wanna read in detail about this, do visit joshua's post about it.

What else? oh Lim Guan Eng Vs Koh Tsu Koon news.One word... Head shot! Malaysia politicking is always the best in the world I believe =D.

Either way, what has passed ,has passed.No reason to continue lament and sulking about it.I don't want to continue being a lazy pig.Must work harder! and play harder too xD.Until next time folks! *will keep on playing, and praying that there will be something interesting gonna happen in my life soon *

Mental Battle

I dunno why.Everytime I go out with my entire family,(consisting my parents and my sister) , I will somehow end up coming back with a gloomy,sad expression, having a rather pissed-off sort of look.And by everytime , i do mean it.Today's hang out has been indifferent.I wasn't in a good mood before going out with them.However, after coming back I am seriously pissed off.

I wonder why ? Issit the retarded mentality of my younger,bratty sister that always annoy me with her vanity and extravagant spending ?Or issit my parent's child-like attitude that always argues with each other regarding some seemingly trivial things?Or maybe today is just isn't my day.Seriously, every outing with them will eventually end up the same,whether I was happy or not before.

This leads me to believe that either there is something wrong with the family or something wrong with me.Nevertheless, one thing for sure, I don't like family outing.As much as I like to hate them ( my parents and sis ) for being the way they are, I can't.We know that every humans make mistakes right?So do my parents and sis.Everytime they make mistakes, I did notice it and often in my mind, I will start having thoughts like " Oh, come on,look at them, how pathetic.Don't you just hate them ?"

But then again ,another part of me would start defending and argues my point by saying things like "You can't hate them, they are your parents and your sisters,related to you by bloods and veins.Just think of what you would have become if it wasn't for them."

Ok,I might be exaggerating but there definitely exists some sort mental battle going on in my mind whenever I think of something.If I were to put it in words,you could say that it is a battle between my instincts and reasonings.To further demonstrate it,let me illustrate it with this picture below.( those onion heads are damn cute ain't they ?:P )
Yeah,basically that's what has been happening in my mind everytime I think of something.And the whole process repeats itself over and over again.So,more than often, all the bad things and evil intentions my instinct suggests will be balanced with my good counterpart, logical and reasoning me .It is a good thing actually.If it wasn't for my thinking self,you may already see me in newspaper headline becoming an infamous criminal =D.

Oh well, today is the 3rd day of my one week holiday already. I tried to become the mindless and lifeless machine to devour all the facts in my referrence book but to no avail.Maybe I didn't try too hard? Alright, now I am beginning to think that more time is better =D.Alright, til next time folks. Whenever there is another mental battle in my head, I will definitely blog it out here =D.So, be sure to check it out !!!

Time

As of now, I am currently having my first day of my one week holiday.Though being known as "holiday",it isn't actually that enjoyable.Why?Simple, because about now, probably everyone around my age would be having an exam fever.Yeah, the much like football fever, this exam fever forces one to study and study to prepare for their biggest fear yet , the SPM (Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia ) examination.In fact,straight after this holiday , there are only a few days left till SPM Trial comes.So,that's instead of going hang out at Queensbay /Gurney or go have fun dating with gfs/bfs , most of us teens that are having SPM this year are busy studying,depriving themselves of any entertainment.


I too, am being affected by this exam fever.Often, I will be in the state of panic and fear, thinking about the result I would get when the time comes.Probably due to the traumatic experience of getting 4As 1 B in my UPSR ( Ujian Penilaian Sekolah Rendah ) during my primary school life.That painful and depressing memory of me watching all my other friends achieving straight As is still firmly etched into my mind.I definitely won't want to experience the same thing again.

Back to reality,for today, I did some studying in the morning and afternoon.I have to say ,even though it isn't that great, but at least my effort wasn't pointless.At around 4 , when the beaming hot suns shine through my window and hit me on my face,I had decided ,Enough is enough.No way can I study in this almost half-baked room.Not especially when I don't even have air-conditionals .With this super hot condition, there is no way I can do anything, heck not even a sleep!!!Frustrated, I on my com and start looking for interesting blogs to lighten up the mood.Then, it starts me thinking again.What I truly want now ?

Now,I just want the time to sped up so that this hellish 3 months can be fast forward and the heavy burden of scoring straight A's can be lifted off from me.I am saying this as I know in this coming 3 months , it will be nothing but study, study and more studying.Frankly, I am not a studious,nerdy type.I do enjoy reading but not the scientific and historic facts from the reference book or dictionary.Therefore, I want the next 3 months of pure suffering and torture to end RIGHT NOW!!!!Unfortunately, as much as I want it to be, things aren't meant to happen however we want.Time cannot be controlled.

Picture Source : Flickr

Then again, I find it pretty ironic.There are times when I want time to go slower or even to stop moving completely and then there are times like now, where I want it to go fast and skip through months.This is just like our life.When we are young , we want to grow up so fast so that we are capable of being like other adults, to be able to work ,earn money,having controls over our lifes instead of being told what to do and the biggest reason being .... don't have to go to school =D ( I am sure most of you have this thoughts ^^). Yet when we are already a grown-up,we miss all the early childhood memories we had, all the fun and sweet smiles others gave, all the pure and innocent world without a single care or responsibility.That's when we change our hope to be able to return to our childhood life.Isn't it strange?

I know that time is precious and every seconds counts but still,for now , I truly want things to speed up a little.Maybe just a little?Yet,deep in my heart , I have a sensation that I will regret it in the near future trying to recover the time that I had lost.Maybe the best solution is to "store and keep away " the time I am having now and use it next time when I wants more time ?Again, this is impossible. Oh well .. just keep enduring .

Olympic Badminton Final

On August 15, 2008,at around 7.30 p.m ,our own Malaysia representative for badminton, Lee Chong Wei,outplayed Lee Hyun-il of the Republic of Korea to grab a place in the finals of the Olympic Badminton tournament.This is a great news for our country as Lee is getting closer to the gold medal.Just one more match ! One more and Malaysia might possibly gotten our first gold medal in Olympic!As I watched the match between both Lees just now , I was stuned.Their plays are absolutely amazing.Both players displayed an immense concentration and vigor,defending and attacking to the very last moment.Guess,that's what should be expected from Badminton World's Number 2 , Lee Chong Wei and the 10th seeded player, Lee Hyun-il .Here are the official scores:
First round : 21-18 ( Lee Chong Wei won )
2nd round : 13-21 (Lee Hyun-il won )
3rd round : 21-13 (Lee Chong Wei won! )

This Penangnite is definitely the pride of Malaysia, being able to go so far in Olympic and who knows what else is in store for him ? The final match will be shown on tv on this Sunday , at around 6.30 p.m to 9.30p.m .Be sure to watch it,fellow Malaysians as this might be the most defining moment of your life. If you are an avid badminton fan , this is a must watch! If you are not a fan, well... watch it and you might be converted into a fan =D ! Malaysia Boleh!!! GO GO GO!

Here are some links :
Link from Official website of Beijing Olympic displaying the news that Lee Chong Wei has just won Lee Hyun-il.
Link showing an interview with Lee Chong Wei about his financial playing and experience as the national player.
Link from wikipedia about his profile and career.